I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

You’re asking where to report this to, so that you can “protect other young girls” but you’re keeping your daughter at it?

Most dance places will be like this, it’s gross but it’s not against the law, remove your daughter and tell the company why. Job done.

And whilst I always cringe a bit seeing how some of the girls dress when family show their dance pics off...

There's also an uncomfortable level of "slut shaming" and policing women's bodies that's starting to come through on here.

Sp if they are doing dances from musicals they will be copying those dances and costumes. They are quite sexualised agree but fairly normal

Why dont you speak to the teacher and say you were concerned about the costumes being so sexualised?

There is nothing wrong with being on an industrial estate how does that make it unsafe?

If you don't like it find an alternative

Went to show at very posh cathedral-connected private school and could not believe the sight of early teenage girls in skimpy gear gyrating their hips. What is that about?

I remember my DD's primary school where their Christmas show always included the girls wearing next to nothing - hoola girls etc. - and wiggling their hips. No-one seemed bothered. Just me.

There is a difference between them filming (they will know, for example, if any of the children are not allowed to be filmed) and you specifically filming a "sexy routine" that your daughter isn't even IN!

Like you come across as creepy af just for that

"Omf these girls aren't wearing much and are sexy dancing to Chicago... better get my phone out and film them"

Maybe look for a street dance class instead. My DD has been going since she was 2 years old. They wear joggers and T-shirts. The message from the teacher is that they should never seek approval from anyone else - they don't have to do shows, exams or competitions, they just dance for fun and exercise.
Teaching teens to show off their bodies for titillation is wrong.

I think the whole having to wear make up, fake tan etc is vile. I was told they have to wear make up for exams!

DD stopped years ago and I was v relieved having seen what was to come!

Leaving aside the inappropriateness of the costumes and dancing, I can't believe the brass neck of charging 20 quid for drop offs. Is it actually legal? If it is it bloody shouldn't be!!

@saltinesandcoffeecups Who cares what reference she used?

I'd pull her out OP

Im glad you are pulling her out now. You are the leader of your family and your kids feelings about the school although valid should not dictate next action especially if there is a safeguarding concern. Your daughter might rail against the decision but she’ll recover as long as you are sturdy and validate her feelings. It will feel like a huge loss to her especially as it sounds like she has internalised some of the toxic messaging from the school and its superiority. This can’t stop you from doing what’s right for her. I don’t know anything about dance schools but where is the accountability given they are responsible for children? Do care inspectorate visit them? There must be some sort of QA process?

Oh god there is always a Chicago number with poor awkward teenage girls in fishnets. I cannot believe they’re still doing it. Dance schools are SO weird.

I think she means she’ll take her daughter out but its not enough to leave the dance class to continue as is. The op (correct me if i am wrong) wants advice who to approach to assess the dance class.

Some of the hair, makeup and costumes on dance girls is so trashy and completely unnecessary. But you see it in things like olympic gymnastics, where the boys get to display pure gymnastic talent in longer shorts and wearing a neutral expression, while the girls get glittery leotards and have to smile/flirt their way through their floor routines. Gross.

I remember when I was a teenager and we had our foorball conditioning training in the same gym as one of the more known local dance groups (similar age to us). The contrast was so staggering when a group of footballers showed up in football shorts and t shirts and the beautiful small framed dancers were wearing the tightest and skimpiest sports bra and 'shorts' grinding and hip thrusting to Usher. And since then I've paid more attention to the dance groups. Some are ones where I would send my kids, some not.

Also £20 for drop off would piss me off so badly.

I think it's up to the parents of those girls and the girls themselves to say something about the acts they disagree with.

Posters are allowed to change their mind over the course of a conversation. What is the point of AIBU if everyone sticks to their first thought or comment? Posters frequently get roasted when they do this. I hate this picking up of an earlier comment and badgering the OP, who has clearly said several times now she is pulling her daughter out. She might have been mulling over her thoughts, not posting clearly because she was upset. Give the woman a break.

But that wasn't your first thought - it took posters to point it out before you changed your mind and I can't fathom how despite you being concerned enough to write a post about it, that she wasn't already pulled out.

Appalling situation and so sad to hear what is happening. Not sure whether you can report your concerns to police (grooming) or local lado (safeguarding). Check their advertising - if it doesn't match what they do, report to advertising standards for misselling. Possibly find out who owns the land/building and report to them about the cones/charging to park to drop children. Sounds a really strange set up.
Really hope you can find a more suitable alternative dance school for your daughter.

Yeah, it's inappropriate. Move her. Tell the school why.

Tbh my dance school was like this, but that was back in the middle of the '90s.

Honestly, it seems that you have issues with the school that have gotten worse and this is your way of trying to 'punish' them or bring them down a peg or two rather than any real concern for the kids 🤷‍♀️

My girls never did dance, not our thing, but it's not a secret how these places operate. You've seen this for THREE years so surely you'd assume if other parents had an issue, they'd have spoken up? I mean, you say it's a 'proper' school who does all the exams so what are you expecting here without admitting that you filmed it.
Have to say, if I was a parent and knew you'd filmed MY child for your own reasons, I'd be furious. I'd be the one wanting action taken tbh.

Move your kid, absolutely. You shouldn't be sending her somewhere you don't feel is appropriate. Then move on because I don't think anyone is really going to appreciate you trying to 'protect' their teens 🤷‍♀️

Not a dancer myself but the parents I know on social media living through their kids posting pictures of their kids made up to the nines in leotards is grim. DD7 went to our local dance club for a few months and decided it wasn't for her which I was quite pleased about. Don't think I've seen or heard quite so much competitive parenting before and I have a DS who plays football at a reasonably high level.

Actually you have said at least three times that you don't want to pull her out. Do you think the other parents aren't seeing their children on stage? Frankly I would mind my own business. It wasn't even your child in the 'scanty outfit'. If parents are uncomfortable then let them complain.

We had a similar experience with my children's dance school, although I don't think it was as big a business as the one you're talking about, @grossedouteurgh

We were horrified at some of the sexualisation of the teen classes. We sent an email to the main teacher who responded so nicely, said she could see our point and they would be more careful in future. Worth a try, although it doesn't sound like your school would be as receptive.

Do dance clubs have welfare/safeguarding officers like sports clubs? I would be straight on to them, and if I got nowhere with the club be escalating to the local MASH. Inciting children into sexually provocative behaviour/poses, even fully clothed, is a major safeguarding breach and potentially a criminal offence.

“”I don't feel like it's enough to pull my daughter out though - how can I report this/escalate it? I feel there's so many vulnerable girls here on a stage with no clothes on, dressed up as art/dance and it's not right.””

Yes it’s cringe and inappropriate. Nothing will change whilst parents have the same attitude as you. Read back your comment…” I don’t feel like it’s enough to pull my daughter out”
Jeez… your actions don’t match your concerns