I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

My daughter was in a musical theatre Saturday school for about 5 years. Absolutely loved it. They performed Shrek and Wizard of Oz - littlest ones were only 5 so the shows had lots of parts for littlies. Was all really wholesome.

Last summer they decided to do Chicago. DD (then 12) had just moved up to the junior section and was so uncomfortable with the dance moves that she left before any talk of costumes. I thought that a completely inappropriate show for kids aged 5-16. I’ve no idea what the owners of the company were thinking, to be honest.

So they danced a dance from Chicago wearing costumes from Chicago. The recommended age for Chicago is 13. The girls were 15.

WTF are you on about?

I remember Flash Dance and I have a primary aged child.

They are awful. I remember a local teen dance group performing at our primary school summer fair and all the dads were so embarrassed - they didn't know where to look as these young teenage girls gyrated and twerked in front of them. Gross.

Nearly forty years ago, when my daughter was three or four years old, I put a stop to 'dancing lessons' because they were teaching the toddlers to gyrate, to thrust their hips, and wanted them in skimpy costumes.

It's grooming. For what, I'm not sure, but it's not healthy.

By the time they're teenagers, their minds are so conditioned they don't know to say no. And those dads, at every performance, filming... admittedly, my experience is long ago, they might not be allowed to do that now.

Honestly I’d leave ❤️

Consent to what?

OP, can you name and shame the school here?

They can definitely consent if they’re Gillick competent.

Also report dropping off fee I don't see how that is legal

From what I see on FB of friends kids that dance I'd say this is standard. It's grim and I don't know why parents go along with it.

Report to safeguarding at the local council

Ew?? What sort of dance schools are these?

I was at dance school for 10+ years and didn’t have this. But if it’s sort of just street dance rather than go into specialities, then teachers might just modify their adult routines. Or do something music video esq.

I don’t think Chicago is appropriate for children to perform, at least all the songs about prostitution.

In terms of reporting I'd look at whatever official dance body the school is part of, or a local newspaper?

You have to be clever and maybe try to find a way that your daughter will actively want to find another dance school. Maybe somehow get her interested in ballet (possibly too old now?) or something with a bit of "glamour" attached to it?

Re the parking on the estate etc I would look up who the managing agent of the estate is and write to them. There may well be bylaws regarding access they are breaking here.

Re the dance/clothes etc only you can decide that.

Who in their right mind would even pay that?! 😂
You'd be like "ehh?! Get lost" 😁

I really highly doubt that it’s against the law. The recordings will be for family and parents have consented to the participation.

You missed the person videoing it as well as part of the dvd being dodgy - this is all escalating rather quickly, why on earth OP isn't pulling her dd straight out at all this?!
🙄

If they are above 16 they can consent, 16 is the age of consent in UK, not 18. In any event, teen girls often enjoy dressing in skimpy clothes and flaunting their bodies. I argued with my dad non-stop in the 90s about whether leaving the house in a miniskirt and strip of top that covered my boobs was acceptable. I also performed in dance/theatre things and took any opportunity I could to perform an objectified version of ‘sexy’. Is it indicative of a wider culture that fetishises young boded and is sexist and pornified? Yes. Is it a safeguarding issue in and of itself, I’d say not. I mean, of course, if there has been coercion or if there are other signs of grooming that’s a different matter. Ultimately if it bothered you as much as you say here you’d obviously withdraw your daughter or at the very least complain.

@saltinesandcoffeecups I was 13 when Flashdance came out, I'm 54 now. I have a 13 year old DD (and also a 12 year old DD but she died). So it's more than possible to have children younger than adults and still remember Flashdance.

The thing is, it potentially IS against the law, especially if a DVD is being made and sold. Video and photographs of skimpily dressed children in sexualised poses and dances could be classed as category C CSAM.

You have made the first step and withdrawn your DD which I agree with.

Second step should be to tell the dance school why you have done so.

Thoughts that probably would not work but a 1% chance:

• It would be hard to argue that the performance you describe is adult entertainment, though if you could, the arts centre might not want to host it again.
• Or you could argue for an age restriction or warning, if what you describe is accurate, a film of such would at least be a 12 certificate.
• Is it a safeguarding issue? The car park charge you could argue is, albeit indirectly.
• Is there a professional body or exam board the school uses, who could be approached?

Going to the local press or tv I think would identify your DD and they could get nasty comments.