I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

If something made me feel sick, I would certainly not be exposing myself to it. Unfollowing is a thing.

I wasn't born until the eighties but I still know flashdance, tangentially I've recently taught 5 yo DS to do the fame leap.

I agree with your point OP DNs are in a dance school like this, when SIL sends videos to the family chat of 8 year old DN dancing provocatively, twerking etc with a full face of make up at 8 I don't know how to respond. I usually pick something like, wow look how high you can jump, or you've been working really hard well done.....
Would she consider a different style/school type? I don't have daughters but my friend's little girl goes to a street dance type place (a bit like diversity style), what they do is incredible, very acrobatic, the timing is impeccable and the boys and girls all wear the same clothes

well I certainly don’t go looking 🤨 but when it’s all over social media it’s hard not to see.

Stop looking?

Because she’s not my daughter and her mother is encouraging it. How on earth do you expect me to stop it?!?

@JurassicFantastic @Mumdiva99 @StinkyWizzleteets
So just because this same discussion was had thousands of miles away over a decade ago on a tv show, this automatically means that scenario cannot ever occur here? So anyone who ever complains about their dance school (something that's been complained about since the advent of dance schools!) is automatically a troll?!?! 🧌

@Pinkpinkpink15 None of what you've said there justifies dressing minors like strippers. So please stop defending it

Point proven 😏

@CrawlOut snore

Seriously I'm more concerned about the filming by OP than anything else tbh

It's worded weirdly and standard Safeguarding is no recording these things. ESPECIALLY when it's not your child. Even more especially when you feel the routine and costumes are sexualised!

Were you allowed to film it? Were any other parents filming it? What are you planning on doing with the recordings?

Not all dance schools are like this. Move her to another one.

Dance and cheer are two very different things.

@grossedouteurgh You filmed other people’s underage children, dressed up and dancing provocatively?

You do realise that you made yourself the safeguarding concern?!

You are in a predicament here - if your DD has a wide friendship circle there she will probably be very distressed of you stop her going but I totally agree with you that the costumes you are discussing are not appropriate at her age.

when DD was 14 or thereabouts her 60 yo singing teacher wanted her to sing 'I'm just a girl who can't say no' at the school concert accompanied by coy finger to lip gestures and eye lash fluttering. That's obviously extremely tame compared to what you are describing but even so. That wasn't the sort of message I wanted my Gen Z daughter receiving or sending out. A full and frank exchange of emails followed and I think she sang something from Phantom instead.

My daughter's dance school was like this - luckily we moved house so she left 😅 From the dance festivals she took part in, I thought it was normal. Changing room full of 11yos practising their slut drops etc.

My daughter did dance and musicals at school and now at university. They have done all sorts of numbers including Chicago. They have never worn this stuff and always skirts, shorts or leggings. And looked fab and appropriate.

Some of her group are assertive girls who would put their foot down at being told to wear sexy clothes and would probably say, ‘only if the boys do’.

The kinds of dance schools mentioned here sound pretty dated really, if nothing else. There are creative ways to portray strong ‘beautiful’ women without having to resort to 70s lingerie.

Which examining body does the school use, and what professional qualifications do the teachers have? You can report anything inappropriate to them.

Leave the other parents to decide for themselves. They don't want to be dancing to nursery rhymes

I am sorry you lack the imagination to see that there could possibly be something in between Chicago-style dances and nursery rhymes!

This kind of response is so facile. It’s a discussion. What about the girls left in the class? Is it not ok to care about them? To debate the message we are giving our daughters? ‘Problem solved’ 🙄

Some time ago my primary aged DCs’ friend’s mum told us her DD was upset because she was marked down or reprimanded by her dance teacher when her bun came loose. The mum was a bit upset because obviously she’d done her DD’s hair for the class. When I expressed surprise it was so strict she said it was part of the rules.
So we’re conditioning girls to conform into being marked on their appearance? And the parents are accepting and paying for this? No thanks.

We have had official DVDs but I guess once a DVD is out there it can go anywhere. I never a little worried about this as once out there it isn't coming back from the internet potentially.

It's about maybe school bullying as well if you have videos of your daughters kicking around the world wide web.

Take her out! Tell the dance school why.

I’ve been given free tickets to a couple of dance school shows in a local theatre where the older girls were in very inappropriate costumes so I made sure not to put my daughter in that dance school.

When my DD was quite small, she did Girls Brigade and after attending a couple of their displays and having bum cheeks of teenagers and young women wearing too small skirts with modesty knickers that were doing nothing for their modesty, waving in our faces…well we were happy not to encourage any more Girls Brigade!

100% this. My DD has danced since 5 and is nearly 18 and doing it as a future job hopefully. She even teaches younger students. The hours and pain she's put in for an art form she adores is huge. Technique is a hard earned skill and whilst some routines have a more adult theme, safeguarding is still present and it’s very very sad that adults look on it and suggest it’s grooming. It’s certainly sad that it’s always girls that are judged like this and really the judgement comes from adults upholding girls to being responsible for the urges of men.

I would certainly be reporting the making and selling of a DVD featuring underage children doing sexualised dances in adult lingerie to the local LADO/MASH. Just because it is ‘art’ doesn’t make it ok. I’m a sports coach and we (rightly) don’t permit any photography at races as our athletes are wearing tight clothing - although nowhere near as revealing as the costumes described here.

The blasé attitude to safeguarding on this thread is appalling but maybe dance parents are like all too many gymnastics parents: complicit in the abuse of their own children.