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Original poster

I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

312 replies

grossedouteurgh · 05/04/2024 23:48

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

OP posts:
Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:28

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 06/04/2024 00:27

Dance is fucking awful. Also so many women living vicariously.

send your daughters to martial arts is my best advice.

LoopyLooooo · 06/04/2024 00:27

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:24

@Pinkpinkpink15 if you don't think it's wrong in this day and age for 15/16 year olds to be on a stage in underwear and suspenders, using a chair as a sexy dancing prop, I'm sorry for you

And yet you're the one sending your DD there rather than pulling her out immediately?

Do that now and then 'fight' for the others.

BettyShagter · 06/04/2024 00:25

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:12

@BettyShagter i would like to know if there's something i can do to protect other young girls from this, if there's a place to report. Because we know how to report straight up abuse but how can we flag dance school grooming?

You want to protect other young girls but not your own daughter???

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:24

LargeSquareRock · 06/04/2024 00:22

When I was 12 I went along to one of my friend’s dance class. It was awful- they were doing Prince’s Cream and for the “get on top” line the girls would lie on their bellies, lift their torsos from the floor and arch their backs. It shocked me as a 12 year old which is why my girls play football.

such a pity- dance should be about strength, beauty and grace, not sexually explicit moves and costumes for young girls.

This. Completely

OP posts:
Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:24

@Pinkpinkpink15 if you don't think it's wrong in this day and age for 15/16 year olds to be on a stage in underwear and suspenders, using a chair as a sexy dancing prop, I'm sorry for you

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INeedToClingToSomething · 06/04/2024 00:22

The whole thing sounds toxic. I’d pull her out.

LargeSquareRock · 06/04/2024 00:22

When I was 12 I went along to one of my friend’s dance class. It was awful- they were doing Prince’s Cream and for the “get on top” line the girls would lie on their bellies, lift their torsos from the floor and arch their backs. It shocked me as a 12 year old which is why my girls play football.

such a pity- dance should be about strength, beauty and grace, not sexually explicit moves and costumes for young girls.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 06/04/2024 00:21

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:12

@BettyShagter i would like to know if there's something i can do to protect other young girls from this, if there's a place to report. Because we know how to report straight up abuse but how can we flag dance school grooming?

@grossedouteurgh

grooming?

that's a leap of an antelope on steroids.

they're dancing Chicago, being dressed like the cast of Chicago is entirely unsurprising.

many decades years ago the theatre I was a member of did Chicago (I was 15/16) and worse the dancing costume. 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

I'm glad I did a load of shows & dancing when I was young enough, fit enough & slim enough.

I certainly wasn't being 'groomed'

@grossedouteurgh stop shit stirring. Pull your DD out if you can't cope. Leave the other parents to decide for themselves. They don't want to be dancing to nursery rhymes

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:20

INeedToClingToSomething · 06/04/2024 00:16

What would they do if you didn't pay? They presumably don't own the land so what are they charging for? I wouldn't pay to drop off my child. That's ridiculous on its own. Let alone the erotic dancing which I would not be having under any circumstances. Completely inappropriate.

I don't pay, and I told them exactly what i thought of them monetizing their students safety! The sad thing is though that this reflects on my daughter and they treat her differently

(I know I know I can't believe I continued after this but she loves it)

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WandaWonder · 06/04/2024 00:18

Why is being on an industrial estate dangerous?

INeedToClingToSomething · 06/04/2024 00:16

What would they do if you didn't pay? They presumably don't own the land so what are they charging for? I wouldn't pay to drop off my child. That's ridiculous on its own. Let alone the erotic dancing which I would not be having under any circumstances. Completely inappropriate.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 06/04/2024 00:15

I totally understand. My daughter's dance school is amazing and is nothing like this. I've seen friends' daughters with their ridiculous make up, skimpy clothes and too mature dances from young ages and HATE it. My daughter trains at a dance school that doesn't even have a Facebook page, make up for shows is natural and costumes are age appropriate. I'd personally look for alternatives, or at least raise it with them you were uncomfortable.

dipsytipsy · 06/04/2024 00:14

You can escalate it but unless the other parents don't feel uncomfortable with this there's not much you can do other than pull your dd out!

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:13

fashionqueen1183 · 06/04/2024 00:10

How can they charge you money for entering an industrial estate?!

Quite: they put up cones on the road to force parents to pay

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Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:12

@BettyShagter i would like to know if there's something i can do to protect other young girls from this, if there's a place to report. Because we know how to report straight up abuse but how can we flag dance school grooming?

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UneFoisAuChalet · 06/04/2024 00:12

When I was in year 5 - like 1988, my dance class did this gyrating dance to Prince’s Raspberry Beret. I’ll never forget my mother’s face in the front row. I was wearing the leotard and leg warmers from ‘Let’s get fit girl’ and I had no clue as to what the lyrics meant.

Needless to say, I never did jazz ballet again.

CherrySocks · 06/04/2024 00:12

Why don't you get together with some of the other parents and complain about the inappropriateness.

Wantitnicearoundme · 06/04/2024 00:12

@saltinesandcoffeecups I know Flashdance v well…I’m 46, Dd is 6…have you never heard of women having children at different ages? Also my sister is late 30’s and also knows the film well

fashionqueen1183 · 06/04/2024 00:10

How can they charge you money for entering an industrial estate?!

BettyShagter · 06/04/2024 00:09

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:07

@BettyShagter it's an otherwise well thought of dance school, they offer dance a levels and gcses etc. My daughter has a big social group their and she's had a shit couple of years so I haven't wanted to pull her away from that hence my post this evening

Well you bloody well should otherwise this thread is a complete nonsense.

They're not going to change just because you've started a thread on Mumsnet.

If this is what you want for your daughter then you'll have to own your choice.

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:08

@RandomButtons I co parent, need to put together a case - it's not as easy as just pulling her out which is why I wanted to hear thoughts and experiences

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MrsBobtonTrent · 06/04/2024 00:07

You’re not wrong. It’s grim. We pulled DD out of dance when she was 6 as we went to a school show and saw what was coming. DH said it was like a creepy tv show that used to have kids lip synching to adult pop songs and gyrating. And it’s so common in dance schools. We’ll look back on this era in 30 years and think WTF? It should be a healthy and sociable hobby.

RandomButtons · 06/04/2024 00:07

So move her. Problem solved.

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:07

@BettyShagter it's an otherwise well thought of dance school, they offer dance a levels and gcses etc. My daughter has a big social group their and she's had a shit couple of years so I haven't wanted to pull her away from that hence my post this evening

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