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Original poster

I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

312 replies

grossedouteurgh · 05/04/2024 23:48

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 06/04/2024 04:28

@bananasstink Just read the lyrics to "Back Door Santa". Disgusting!

We just keep shrinking the "boundaries" and if we don't stop, there will be none left.

Lollipopsicle · 06/04/2024 03:28

@Sleepysendco Oh, I see. Thank you!

@grossedouteurgh. My mistake. Apologies.

Sleepysendco · 06/04/2024 03:07

Lollipopsicle · 06/04/2024 02:28

But you said, and I quote, "I don't feel like it's enough to pull my daughter out though.."

Show quote history

Meaning - she will pull her daughter out, but she doesn’t feel that’s doing enough, she still wants to “report” it somehow to protect others.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 06/04/2024 02:52

You thought they were inappropriately dressed and dancing and yet filmed it?
Weird

You aren't supposed to record in dance school shows for Safeguarding as it is!

Let alone because the girls are too "sexy"

DramaAlpaca · 06/04/2024 02:42

I don't know this world at all, I don't have daughters or boys who would've enjoyed dance.

What I can say is that If I didn't like the ethos of an activity my child was attending, I would remove my child from that environment without hesitation.

penjil · 06/04/2024 02:34

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/04/2024 23:53

I think you went a bit overboard with the flash dance reference…

If that is what your frame of reference is, then your children are grown ass adults

Grown ASS adults?! That's such an Americanism. Try using proper descriptions. You can do it.

And anyway, some people like older films, much better than newer rubbish....and Flash Dance is a modern classic.

We all understood the reference, so I'm not sure why you needed to poke you nose in and comment on it?

Do you try to belittle people on every thread?

Lollipopsicle · 06/04/2024 02:28

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:28

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

But you said, and I quote, "I don't feel like it's enough to pull my daughter out though.."

bananasstink · 06/04/2024 02:22

When my Dd was about 7 she did a dance in a dance show to 'back door Santa' (look it up, the lyrics are awful) the dance was fine but the words sooooo insppropriate. I had a thread on mn at the time. I spoke to the dance school owner and she saw no problem with it!
My elder DD is now at uni studying dance and wants to be a showgirl so I am sadly getting used to seeing her dance in not much more than a bikini. Her body, her choice at nearly 20 but I wouldn't have accepted it at 15.

neverforgetsolange · 06/04/2024 01:34

I would take her out of the school OP. I had similar at my girl's dance school show. Fortunately, (or unfortunately as she was a good wee dancer in my view, she got bored of it all aged 11 ) she stopped going before the older classes but I know what you mean and none of the other parents seemed that fussed . It was weird. Sixteen year old girls doing sexy dancing isn't on really at all. There are loads of dance schools out there.

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 01:25

AmiablePedant · 06/04/2024 01:00

What genre of "dance" is your daughter taking--it all seems a bit vague? Could she switch to e.g. ballet?

She does everything - ballet, jazz, modern, acrobatic. It's more the atmosphere and the cheapening of the girls than the genre that bothers me

OP posts:
IHateLegDay · 06/04/2024 01:24

@saltinesandcoffeecups what an odd comment. Her head obviously went there so what's your problem?
Yes there will be more risqué things obviously but this was her example so get over it.

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 01:24

@saltinesandcoffeecups it was the splaying themselves over chairs this eve that made me think of flash dance... is there a more modern equivalent?

OP posts:
Isthisexpected · 06/04/2024 01:19

You can complain to management. You can complain to the local children's safeguarding board. You can also complain to the professional body such as IDTA if the school has teachers registered. The latter have a safeguarding process.

It sounds awful.

BettyShagter · 06/04/2024 01:13

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:28

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

Yes I'm fine thanks, how are you?

My daughter has a big social group their and she's had a shit couple of years so I haven't wanted to pull her away from that hence my post this evening

If you will obviously be pulling her out, you didn't make it obvious from that post ^^

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/04/2024 01:13

Willyoujustbequiet · 06/04/2024 01:07

What an odd comment.

I remember flashdance and I have a 9 year old.

Show quote history

Are there not more risqué example in the last what… 40 years?

Yes you may remember flash dance from the 80’s but is that where your head is going to go?

Willyoujustbequiet · 06/04/2024 01:07

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/04/2024 23:53

I think you went a bit overboard with the flash dance reference…

If that is what your frame of reference is, then your children are grown ass adults

What an odd comment.

I remember flashdance and I have a 9 year old.

AmiablePedant · 06/04/2024 01:00

What genre of "dance" is your daughter taking--it all seems a bit vague? Could she switch to e.g. ballet?

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:58

@HelloMiss I'll do this - thank you

OP posts:
MooFroo · 06/04/2024 00:37

DD loved watching Abbie Lee dance moms - very OTT dance show from the USA. I watched a few episodes and was shocked at the sexualised dancing and costumes, totally inappropriate and unnecessary. The kids were anything from 4/5 years old upwards in tiny costumes dancing suggestively to adult themed songs

DD went to to a school for a couple of years and really enjoyed it but didn’t like the costumes and being half naked for performances so stopped going.

HelloMiss · 06/04/2024 00:34

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:28

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

IDTA has information on safeguarding, look at your dance school equivalent

If she does awards/grades/medals it will be in her certificate

Report that way

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/04/2024 00:33

grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:28

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

You’re getting lost in your own posts… it apparently not easy when you are coparenting and you’re building a case

Original poster
grossedouteurgh · 06/04/2024 00:32

RJnomore1 · 06/04/2024 00:27

Dance is fucking awful. Also so many women living vicariously.

send your daughters to martial arts is my best advice.

I did karate at her age and loved it 😍

OP posts:
ballsdeep · 06/04/2024 00:30

My friends daughter is a very successful dancer but omfg the things she wears are awful!!! From a very early age she’s been caked in fake tan and hairspray every weekend and her dresses are becoming more and more revealing (a sheet top half with jewels over the breasts!) She is only in year ten and I feel sick seeing her pictures onljne!

HelloMiss · 06/04/2024 00:30

It's normal in the dance world

Look at ballroom/latin young professionals

Don't like it, take her out....stop with your width washy excuses

Foxesandsquirrels · 06/04/2024 00:29

RJnomore1 · 06/04/2024 00:27

Dance is fucking awful. Also so many women living vicariously.

send your daughters to martial arts is my best advice.

Yes, a lot of women living vicariously through their kids in the dance world. It's a horrific environment. Although there are really lovely dance schools out there. As already mentioned by pp, a lot of them are off social media. Which says a lot really in terms of what gets clicks.