To be concerned that my 10 year old is too childlike

@WitsEnd10 - the others shouldn’t be teasing your DD, but year three seems to be the usual time for the girls to start wearing crop tops (even if they don’t need them). There was a girl in my DD’s class in year five who was the only one without and in the end, the pastoral team at school stepped in.

I’m a primary school teacher. Don’t rush her into the next stage. Phones/boys/beauty products are becoming more important to younger children, and we can see the negative effects very plainly in schools.

I wouldn't be worried, I think it's nice your DD isn't growing up so fast, my DS is 8 and still very innocent in terms of his playing, his soft toys are still his no.1 priorities!

Hoe horrible. Be careful what you wish for.
Yabu

you haven't come back to say if she is an only child ? I asked and i know a couple of others have wondered.

I also see a couple of others have mentioned drams clubs - does she do anything like this ?
where i live I can think of 3 different ones on a Sat AM, so unless you live somewhere really rural there is bound to be one nearby..

would she like that ?
and of course it's only fair to ask if you can afford that as it's all fine us suggesting an activity but it has to be doable for you too.

she sounds very similar to my 9 year old (year 4). Her dolls even go to her friends for sleepovers (& vice versa); she has some friends that are also into dolls and others that aren’t. She says there are ‘fashionistas’ in her class but she’s not one of them. She goes through phases of getting them ready for the day and setting them up in the living room for school and nursery, and then getting them ready for bed at night. She’s not doing it at the moment, but I think she’ll be back to it. She is an only child and ASD, the only child bit is probably relevant as no older siblings to copy. And the ASD for the sometimes intense need to get them ready, there are often meltdowns if no time to do this if she is going through one of these phases. They have names, are treated as of real etc.

Yabu for putting the wrong age in the title why do people do this! Anyway 9/10 is a child and your dd is behaving in an age appropriate way. Would you rather she was vaping and slathering her face in drunk elephant whilst chugging down a can of monster?

My first thought when I read about your daughter was, does she go to drama lessons or a theatre club? I think she could really enjoy that. it would allow her to use her imagination alongside others of a similar age.

She sounds an absolute delight!

It’s wonderful. Do not take her toys. Let her decide when it’s time for them to be packed away.

Do not make a decision to give them away down the line without her independent consultation. They will be a comfort to her, potentially into young adulthood. We all have a need to play as a therapy tool. Adults just choose to play differently. My kids still have all their toys, most of which they ignore until they are worried about something and then the toys come out.

Gosh I’m feeling a bit teary, my boy is going to turn 9 soon and I hope he has a few more years of being a child. I feel so sad that they grow up so quickly and am jealous of friends who have little ones therefore more childhood time in the future with them

So you are worried a child is behaving like a child and seems to have a lovely imagination?

What do you want her to do at 10? smoke weed, hang out on street corners and wear mini-skirts?

Frankly count your blessing and focus on raising a happy and confident girl with her own personality.

My youngest are twins and at almost 13 they still enjoy imaginative play. I think because they have each other it’s gone on longer and they do “play” differently with friends when they come over. At 9-10 they definitely were playing but some dc, especially with older siblings, were desperate to be “grown up”.

dd1 stopped by year 7 but then it was lockdown and she was stuck home with younger siblings and went back to dressing up and imaginative play. I don’t think that would have happened without lockdown.

what I’m saying is let your dc be a child. So many parents encourage them to grown up when they’re still little. There’s loads of time for that.

I'd be quite relieved she's still happy playing.

There's a big difference between the girls who hit puberty a bit earlier at 9/10 and those who hit it later.

Has your DD got a sibling? A lot of what you describe with her imaginative play with the dolls/bears, in my house would be the DC playing together.

What a shame that the world we now live in doesn’t allow children to be children for long.

Omg absolutely not. Let children be children, adulthood is LONG.

I was like this when I was 10. I still have a lot of teddies (I no longer think they are alive, but they do have sentimental value and are great for when I’m nieces and nephews stay). Don’t rush her to grow up OP. The one thing I will say is maybe if she is still like this before she starts secondary school have a quiet word because other kids can be really really unkind about things like this and it’s better she knows what she’s in for imo. For now tho just enjoy it, she sounds very sweet and thoughtful.

My 9 year old Grandson loves his cuddly toys and names them. He has to take one special one with him where ever he goes.. he's also into gaming and on his laptop a lot.. he's ASD.. but your daughter sounds delightful.
My daughter used to line her dolls up on the bed..she was given a pushchair ( for a real baby) and put all her 22 dolls in and would push it up and down the road .. at age 12.

It’s still a mix of 2 and 3 tier where I live and one observation I’ve heard from parents whose children went to middle school was that they felt it made them grow up even faster, because their 9 year olds were aping the 13 year olds they were at school with, rather than 11 being the oldest.

It's a shame we no longer have the middle school system.

What her views and comments are in your home is fine. Only concern should be if outside the home it makes her vulnerable to teasing or something worse.

Enjoy it because in a few short years the phones, social media and obsession with clothes will begin. Usually coinciding with puberty and transition to high school.

This thread has been reassuring. DS is younger (6 nearly 7) but seems so,far behind his peers. He still plays, especially imaginative games. I am totally on board with it, but sadly lots of his friends seem very grown up.

He is often sad they dont want to play his games and on playdates ask about tech all the time. I have been very anti screens, so DS not used to them. We have just allowed creator minecraft for an hour each weekend day but I dont love that I feel almost forced to do this. But he is starting to have less and less in common with his peers :(

Not sure how this has happened but DS is first born yet every single one of his friends bar one, has older siblings. I wonder if DS2 will end up more 'grown up' as a result..

This was my youngest DD.
Enjoy it.
She is now 16, never been bullied. She now teaches dance and drama to little ones on a Saturday morning and volunteers at the local Rainbow pack.
She is a nuturing type and all her play as a child was an expression of this.

Make the most of it, it will change soon.
DD8 (almost 9) was telling me yesterday about a girl in her class who has a 5 step skincare rountine and regularly teases her for being ‘babyish’ as she doesn’t wear crop tops and makeup on non-uniform days. Personally I’m glad that DD doesn’t have access to social media and couldn’t give a stuff about skincare routine.