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Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

586 replies

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 11:18

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

OP posts:
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LuckySantangelo35 · 05/04/2024 20:23

Kittycat333 · 05/04/2024 20:22

You were pissed and probably attention seeking. Are you jealous of his uni friends?

@Kittycat333

why do you think she was pissed?

also you say it like being pissed is a bad thing! It’s a wedding hun, it’s party time! 🥂🥳

Kittycat333 · 05/04/2024 20:22

You were pissed and probably attention seeking. Are you jealous of his uni friends?

Jolenepleasetakeawaymyman · 05/04/2024 20:21

I feel for you OP I get low blood sugar sometimes and feel like this. I don’t drink but if I went a long time without food would feel like you did.

And I’m sure no one else even noticed and if they did they probably didn’t think badly of you just oh dear she can’t be feeling well.

your husband sounds like he was out of order to me. If I was another guest I would not have thought anything bad about what you did. People get sick, women could be pregnant and feel faint there are so many reasons so why would anyone judge you.

Even if someone was face down drunk snoring my friends and family would just smile and be ‘oh dear someone should take more water with it’. God it’s a wedding people get drunk. OP wasn’t obviously but even if she was so what.

he needs to get over himself. Just ignore him if he does it again.

ChampagneLassie · 05/04/2024 20:19

I am wondering if you’re suffering from some sort of inner ear balance thing :/ vertigo. It can come on like that. I think just a couple glasses on a empty stomach wouldn’t have you feeling so bad

GoingDownLikeBHS · 05/04/2024 20:18

(I don’t think for a minute you were drunk but let’s experiment!!)

WalkingonWheels · 05/04/2024 20:17

Tessisme · 05/04/2024 19:58

Yes it is. I'm disabled, and I work with disability rights. I train people in Equality and Diversity. It's ableist.

Maybe you need to retrain. You are accusing people of using ableist language against someone who suffered an acute bout of illness. You are stretching the definition to breaking point. I agree that some posters' attitudes here are horrible and some of the language is unnecessarily cruel and extreme, but it still isn't ableism.

I don't need to retrain in the slightest. Plus I'm disabled. Y'know. Living the experience.

I bet you're one of those people who would walk past an unconscious diabetic in a hypo because you'd assume they were drunk, aren't you?

GoingDownLikeBHS · 05/04/2024 20:17

Op. You and me need a large night out. You are legless after a thimble of Prosecco. My sort of friend 🥰

Pancakefam · 05/04/2024 20:14

I bet your husband is pissed off because you kept telling him to go and have fun with his friends, but his friends kept asking him if his wife was ok/shouldn't he be with you/take you home etc. By insisting you both stay whilst ill, you were making him look like a selfish arsehole.

LuckySantangelo35 · 05/04/2024 20:08

Februaryfeels · 05/04/2024 20:05

FFS @K0OLA1D why are you so angry at posters.

@Februaryfeels

maybe she is sick of the bizarre puritanical mumsnet attitude towards alcohol (especially women drinking alcohol)

Februaryfeels · 05/04/2024 20:05

FFS @K0OLA1D why are you so angry at posters.

LuckySantangelo35 · 05/04/2024 20:04

@MyFirstLittlePony

also.. is OP any less worthy of her partners support and care if she’s feeling ill off a couple of glasses of Prosecco versus if she’s feeling ill from a couple of dodgy prawns? If so, why?

LuckySantangelo35 · 05/04/2024 20:03

MyFirstLittlePony · 05/04/2024 20:01

This whole “unwell” thing really was self inflicted by alcohol

i get why it happens, I sometimes don’t process alcohol well, but ultimately you behaved a bit oddly imo and it was due to alcohol so I can see why that irritated him

@MyFirstLittlePony

lighten up!

it was a couple of glasses of Prosecco! Not a bottle of vodka and 5 jaeger bombs

MyFirstLittlePony · 05/04/2024 20:01

This whole “unwell” thing really was self inflicted by alcohol

i get why it happens, I sometimes don’t process alcohol well, but ultimately you behaved a bit oddly imo and it was due to alcohol so I can see why that irritated him

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 20:01

ZoeCM · 05/04/2024 19:55

Oh come on! Do you honestly think a man who face-planted the table during the speeches at his wife's friend's wedding after drinking (even a small amount) would get an easy ride on here? MN would probably have declared him an alcoholic by now. I doubt anyone would be worrying about his potential disabilities.

I completely agree that this has been blown out of all proportion, and that what happened really wasn't a big deal at all, but it's daft to pretend MN is giving the OP a hard time because she's female!

Faceplanted? Wtf are you reading?!

Tessisme · 05/04/2024 19:58

Yes it is. I'm disabled, and I work with disability rights. I train people in Equality and Diversity. It's ableist.

Maybe you need to retrain. You are accusing people of using ableist language against someone who suffered an acute bout of illness. You are stretching the definition to breaking point. I agree that some posters' attitudes here are horrible and some of the language is unnecessarily cruel and extreme, but it still isn't ableism.

whynotwhatknot · 05/04/2024 19:57

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 19:50

He can be quite insecure sometimes so I guess this embarrassment brought that out…

well thats his problem

LuckySantangelo35 · 05/04/2024 19:57

some people are so weird on here about alcohol

like a couple of glasses of Prosecco makes OP some massive piss head with an alcohol problem

a couple of glasses of Prosecco is NOTHING

Op if anything just needs some nights out on the town with her pals to build up her tolerance and she’ll be fine

ZoeCM · 05/04/2024 19:55

GoingDownLikeBHS · 05/04/2024 18:31

I still can’t get over how DRUNK the OP was. According to posters here. Off her tits. And a man, with a penis and everything, had to look at her with his very own eyes. The suffering! The humanity! The degradation. Bless him.

Oh come on! Do you honestly think a man who face-planted the table during the speeches at his wife's friend's wedding after drinking (even a small amount) would get an easy ride on here? MN would probably have declared him an alcoholic by now. I doubt anyone would be worrying about his potential disabilities.

I completely agree that this has been blown out of all proportion, and that what happened really wasn't a big deal at all, but it's daft to pretend MN is giving the OP a hard time because she's female!

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 19:53

justasking111 · 05/04/2024 19:49

Two thimble fulls. She's Thumbelina then 😂😂

Coincidentally I was at an event recently where a medical person was discussing what happens when you eat. Apparently the blood reduces in your extremities heads to your digestive system to work on that.

Makes sense why my legs felt like lead!

OP posts:
OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 19:52

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/04/2024 19:47

The whole episode upset him so much, he had to drink enough to make himself sick on the way home,😂 and all because of the sheer embarrassment.

🤣

OP posts:
OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 19:50

whynotwhatknot · 05/04/2024 19:44

sounds like a twat to me-whats his problem with going bak in by himself-sounds very image cocnsious

He can be quite insecure sometimes so I guess this embarrassment brought that out…

OP posts:
justasking111 · 05/04/2024 19:49

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 19:45

I’ve had panic attacks before…but highly suspect this was more blood sugar related along with the copious amount of Prosecco I consumed via two thimbles 🤣

Two thimble fulls. She's Thumbelina then 😂😂

Coincidentally I was at an event recently where a medical person was discussing what happens when you eat. Apparently the blood reduces in your extremities heads to your digestive system to work on that.

Mothership4two · 05/04/2024 19:48

The gaslighting on this thread is pretty unpleasant. OP said she wasn't drunk, had two Proseccos and water with a meal and cake.

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 19:47

StarlightLime · 05/04/2024 19:43

Someone feeling ill through drinking on an empty stomach has no relationship to anything concerning "disability rights". Shame on you if you really peddle this crap to people who are presumably paying for this training?

The OP has come back multiple times. By the time she felt ill she'd eaten. Ffs give it a rest with the couple of glasses of prosecco

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/04/2024 19:47

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 18:35

🤣🤣🤣

pray for him, please.

The whole episode upset him so much, he had to drink enough to make himself sick on the way home,😂 and all because of the sheer embarrassment.

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