Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

@FrypanFran

lighten up!

nothing wrong will letting your hair down and having a few drinks! You should try it!

🍋 😂

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.. you felt ill. Instead of showing concern for how you are your husband was more concerned about how it looked. Yes it was unfortunate and your husband was wishing you could both enjoy the day but so were you. This was not your fault. I hope you’re ok.

That means you're the embarrassing one.

Gosh this takes me back a couple of years ago. I do understand why he was upset you put your head on the table at a wedding. It would have been noticed and is probably one of the worst situations for it to happen. HOWEVER. I can relate to how you felt. I was at Wimbledon tennis with my then partner. Very expensive tickets in hospitality The Gatsby Club. I woke up that morning not feeling right but have a chronic condition and this can happen. Sat down for lunch feeling very unwell. Glass of champagne on the table not touched. I just wanted to lay on the floor and sleep. The Michelin star chef came to the table and I rallied. My partner was concerned & could see I didn’t look right and suggested we sit in the gardens and get some fresh air. I sat down drank a few sips of said champagne and collapsed into his lap. I am not a fainter never Happened before. I am told He tried to rouse me I was unconscious and fell to the floor in my new posh frock. Paramedics came couldn’t bring me round, I remember nothing but was mumbling at tines, they couldn’t get the ambulance to the lawns so took me in a chair slumped into a golf cart (I am embarrassed even typing this) through many many people propped between two paramedics semi conscious,
partner in the back. The medical centre is under the courts so right in the middle of everything , everyone laughing thinking I was drunk my partner incredibly angry at their reaction but clearly and understandably must have been embarrassed. They did tests and found the ecg was very worrying. I came round in the medical centre and felt okay and didn’t know what all the fuss was about. I didn’t feel perfect but okay just tired. I definitely didn’t want to go to hospital but The second ECG was also worrying so was taken by blue light. It was just post Covid so had to go alone. They never found out what happened despite lots of tests. I was kept in. felt terrible the whole day, very expensive tickets bought my partner wasted. I have no explanation to this day but felt terrible for him for me and very embarrassed. So I empathise with you. It may well not have been alcohol & had you collapsed in front of everyone by moving outside it may well
have created more chaos. So pls try and put it behind you. Understand his embarrassment in front of his friends but perhaps share this experience. My heart definitely was doing something odd, verified medically. Thank god it seems to have been a one off. I would never have believed this could happen to me. So don’t beat yourself up any longer just be happy you are fit and well again. Perhaps if he can’t let it go you may need to consider letting him go. But also see from his perspective putting your head on the table I am sure everyone assumed you was drunk just like they did with me. I absolutely wasn’t. I believe when you say you wasn’t too. People can be very judgemental x

I had this before at a wedding during the speeches. It was really weird! I suddenly felt really unwell and sick and also didn't get up straight away because if I did I knew I'd collapse or be sick which would've been mortifying! Totally understand why you put your head on the table - sometimes you just have to follow what your body needs to get it to pass as quickly as possible.

I went to the GP after and they reckoned it was the combination of lack of food, weird timings and too many stimulants (a coffee and a couple of glasses of champagne, hardly wild!) I'm now really careful with drinking enough water and eating a proper lunch before going to weddings.

Sounds like he was being pretty mean to you - as if anyone chooses to be unwell for no reason. I'd get his point if you were demanding he leave with you, but he could've easily left you to chill for an hour or so to recover and had a chat with his friends. Why do you need to be joined at the hip just because he doesn't see his friends much? YANBU.

@JiraffDeSaki

fair enough!

I couldn't face putting the spanx back on.

@JiraffDeSaki

why did you need to have your underpants in your handbag??

This.

He should have helped you out, but it sounds like you refused. I would have been annoyed too.

On threads I read like this one I get an image of certain posters "bulldog sucking on a lemon ". syndrome.

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant

what if you didn’t know it was going to happen though? What if it usually doesn’t happen?

Can second this.
I had fear of injections (not needlephobia bcs I could easily handle them etc.) but it was triggered only in new medical settings or with new staff members bcs was stressed due to previous bad needle accident.
At one point during my second pregnancy I was told I probably have Vasovagal Syncope.
It madea lot ofsenseasI was told I may have white cote sindrome while I was joki g with said consultatnt, bizzarre.

As teen I also probably got it sometimes in hot crowdy places but no one bothered to look that up. I just had some tests to confirm I was not anemic.
OP - if you sometimes fell faint in certain situations without apparent reason it may be worth looking up.

Hey if it helps OP, I was at my stepdaughters wedding when I came over peculiar at the table just as the speeches were about to start.

I don't drink so I wasn't shit faced on two mouthfuls of prosecco, you absolute lush, BUT I had just eaten beef stroganoff on a very empty stomach (hadn't eaten for 36 hrs).

Luckily I had the presence of mind to leave the table, get to the ladies, and extricate myself from spanx and chub rub shorts before the world fell out of me. Shitting myself at the table would've been far more mortifying but it was pretty close.

Seriously though, I felt rough for a good hour and just wanted to go back to the hotel. My DH was mildly concerned for me - not much, he's accustomed to my crazy bowel antics after 25 years - but was mainly just disappointed that I wanted to leave because I'd miss all the dancing. And also because he'd have to get a different lift back to the hotel! He wouldn't have been unkind or embarrassed, that's for sure. As it happened I drank some cold lemonade, sat outside and got some air, and ended up dancing the night away with my undercrackers in me handbag.

Hope you get to the bottom (haha) of these episodes. I've had a couple of weird fainting moments in my time too.

And that's all good and well. But healthy doesn't mean I feel so sick after drinking that I can't move

i would find that embarrassing.

@enchantedsquirrelwood

If your drinking negatively affects your behavior in a public setting, then you aren't drinking responsibly. Even if that's just 2 prosecco.

Putting your head on the table was rude and he was probably embarrassed in front of his friends.
It would have better to have discreetly left the room.

@FrypanFran

i don’t

I just have a normal healthy attitude towards booze

OP,

I don't want to armchair diagnose, but I've read your comments and your descriptions of when this happens, and I think it would be worth looking into Vasovagal Syncope. It's basically a name for when your body is triggered by something, your blood vessels in your legs dilate and you come over funny and/or pass out.

I've had similar incidents in the past, definitely not caused by alcohol (teetotal due to medication). But it took several years of it happening regularly to get a tilt table test to diagnose, because it won't show up in a bog standard GP appointment because there's nothing to trigger the symptoms. And it won't show up in bloods because it's dysfunction of the central nervous system rather than an illness.

P.S. your husband is a twat.

Oh hun nothing. You must have an inner ear infection

Pissed on 2 glasses of Prosecco, hardly?
I've had 2 incidents within 6 months where I become faint after alcohol, one I'd had 3 drinks during/after dinner, the other I'd had 3 sips of my first pint after having had dinner out. Seems to be a histamine thing as far as I can figure out (the only menopausal hot flushes I've ever had were facial after alcohol) , the first time I managed to make my way out the pub door and the freezing December air seemed to bring my round. Second time I was standing in a practically empty pub knowing there was no way I could make it downstairs when one of my friends looked at me and I was deathly pale and starting to sway. She grabbed me and they got me down stairs and outside, I felt better after a couple of minutes but 5 minutes later bolted round the corner to be sick. I absolutely looked pissed to everyone outside of my group, but I wasn't in the slightest, only other time I fainted was as a kid having broken a bone and it hasn't happened in the 5 yrs since, I dont drink at all now
I can understand your DH being a bit mortified initially as it's an unusual thing to happen, I'd be a bit WTF is going on before it happened to me, but it should have been clear to him pretty quick that he needed to be kind and look after his wife!

Only for you.

@FrypanFran

lol

oh hun

Quite easily, actually.