AIBU to feel disheartened by the lack of support and the presence of a crab bucket mentality among some women on here?

Yeh, it's so disheartening when people start in with the insults. When that happens I have to confess that I find it really difficult to rein it in and not respond in kind. I have to discipline myself, but by that point the damage is done and it feels so destructive

Anthropomorphism at its finest though, isn't it?

Crabs aren't busily pulling other crabs back down to stop them getting out. They are all trying to climb out by any means possible, all at once, including climbing on one another, before the cannibalism starts. The consequence of that just means that none of them makes it out of the bucket. They don't know what they are doing, and they aren't purposely dragging others down to their level.

Stupid analogy really, when you think of it.

Thank you

Fair enough, you did make a point that I didn’t read correctly, many apologies.

I find that most people with problems, have them because they're doing something wrong.

@Beautiful3 reading your post I found myself in the rather weird position of hoping you're an AI bot, because if you're actually human and wrote that then I am embarrassed for you.

I really don’t think it’s that bad. There are some bad tempered threads, but they tend to be predictable: psychic and woo believers always get angry when told they’ve swallowed a load of guff; stepmums and separated mums won’t ever see eye-to-eye; threads about dog nuisance; renters v landlords; etc etc.

It may be the relationships board/threads that people have in mind. But I tend to avoid those because I think they attract the prurient and bossy, whatever the ‘concerned’ posters might say about their ‘advice’, TBH.

On the whole, though, most discussion is amicable.

Petty? No, factual. Sorry if that doesn't sit well with you. And I CBA with your point now, you couldn't be arsed to read mine.

Eh? They ‘do’ on an anonymous forum, precisely because it is anonymous and they can let rip. Do they in real life, I don’t think so unless they are very tough individuals.

Well, ok, talk about petty, yes, people post on here who are not British or living in Britain but that’s beside the point. My point is about the response of a majority of posters is probably about the repressed personality that the poster above mentioned. Your average Brit is not brave enough tp be direct to someone in real life as culturally this is not something they do.

British people don't say what they mean in real life - because culture. On an anonymous forum? I bet they do.

It is not that’s good read. Say for example higher education, it defaults to British unis. Discussions on term times or the state of education or teachers are mostly if not all about British schools.

I said it's not entirely British. Not that it's not British dominated.

Well it is as I think even now the majority of references cultural, educational, commercial, work wise are British, how can it not be relevant if that is the case. I think the average British personality does have a relevance to how they come across or the offence they take. I don’t know how you can’t argue that it is British dominated that’s ridiculous!

Well that's neither here nor there really is it?

I think that’s part of it. A lot of repressed hostility being vented on an anonymous forum.

It is not now but it was predominantly British forum and originated in London.

I agree some people on here are very quick to be nasty and make people look stupid.

Newspaper not plural.

To be fair though in one of my jobs a. Young woman I did get to meet some absolutely hideous upper class women that mocked me for my clothes as I couldn’t afford what they were wearing coming from your average middle class background. I won’t say which newspapers it was.

It's not a website entirely frequented by British people.

In real life, I don’t know any British people that are that blunt and rude with name calling mostly as people aren’t anonymous. It is not a British characteristic to say what you mean unless drunk of course (joke).

The vast, vast majority of people don't call people names though. Really. There will always be arseholes, just like IRL.

That just isn’t true. It’s very possible to give advice ( even hard advice) without name calling or deriding. I’m genuinely stunned how many people don’t seem to see the difference.

If that’s what you want, then it’s just going to be like being in an Echo Chamber, where you have to empathise and agree with someone who might be behaving badly, just because they’re a woman. Some women post on here because they genuinely don’t know if they’re being unreasonable., so it would be a waste of time if everyone was going to just agree with you.

I think the Tories have gotten worse since Thatcher. The level of arrogance and corruption now is off the scale, emboldened by what went on across the ocean with Trump.

While I agree with you and @Hesterbester - and my politics are very firmly to the left too - there are many women who feel as if they have no choice politically.

This isn't the thread to have this debate, but with Labour/Greens/SNP etc all willing to give away women's identity and jeopardise their safety, there are many left-wing women who feel that there's no option but to hold their nose and vote Tory. I think the rationale behind it is that once women's rights are given away, there will be no way to close Pandora's box. And I have to say I agree with that. If these changes are brought in, they won't get repealed. Conversely, no matter how shit the Tories are for women in a MULTITUDE of other ways - they are all things that can be undone in the future (eventually). It's a fucking awful choice. Women know the Tories are manipulating them for votes, but there's no other real alternative to protect women's spaces and rights.

I'm not saying I agree with that opinion or that people should vote Tory (!), but I think it's understandable. There's a whole heap of women who feel politically homeless and also believe that the next election will be a single-issue vote.

It's just a bag of shite all round - but I don't want to derail this post.