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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bf using my birthday gift with another woman

289 replies

Pookie21 · 04/04/2024 16:54

My bf got us tickets to my favourite musical for my birthday in January, unfortunately we broke up shortly after for 6 weeks, but have now been back together a month. The show is next week, I’ve organised my kids but bf told me yesterday as he couldn’t get a refund he asked friends & is now taking a female friend instead (I vaguely know of her). AIBU in thinking that as the tickets were my main birthday gift he should either have given me both to use or cancel taking the woman & take me as they were part of my gift & we are back together?
he says she helped him out by agreeing to come so doesn’t want to change her plans but if I were her I’d be happy to stand down as it was a special gift for us to enjoy together, it feels like he’s putting another woman’s feelings over mine.

OP posts:
Skiphopbump · 04/04/2024 17:12

The friend might have already organised a day off work/childcare/travel etc. Your bf is in a no win situation but he could have avoided this by letting you keep the tickets when you broke up.

Nazzywish · 04/04/2024 17:12

Why are you sticking around with this waste of space? Stay broken up.

FortofPud · 04/04/2024 17:11

I'd say he did nothing wrong asking her and nothing wrong in not wanting to mess her around by retracting the ticket offer.

However, I'd not be happy in your position. The right thing would surely be to give her the second ticket so she can take someone else. (And then what she should probably do is say, no of course not, have my ticket back now gf can go with you again. But that's much less important!)

Mummame2222 · 04/04/2024 17:10

harriethoyle · 04/04/2024 17:05

I agree @DemBonesDemBones - bearing in mind the present was in Jan, you then broke up for 6 weeks so at least mid Feb I'm not surprised he made alternative plans. YABU.

So he gets to go on a date with another woman?

Riverlee · 04/04/2024 17:08

How recently did you mention going to the show again? If only in the last few days, then he’s not unreasonable.

firstimemum23 · 04/04/2024 17:07

DemBonesDemBones · 04/04/2024 17:00

I think I'll be in the minority but I don't think he's in the wrong. You had broken up, he invited his friend. I think it actually shows he's a nice person not ditching his mate to take you now you're back together.

It was HER present - not a present to him. Both tickets belong to her and by default, you assume as the partner you’ll be going; but you don’t get rights to both tickets!

LouOver · 04/04/2024 17:06

If he thought you weren't getting back together then he's not in the wrong for inviting a friend who has now made her plans.

But 1. If I was the friend now going would feel weird and would probably step aside.

  1. Is he getting you a new birthday gift?
harriethoyle · 04/04/2024 17:05

I agree @DemBonesDemBones - bearing in mind the present was in Jan, you then broke up for 6 weeks so at least mid Feb I'm not surprised he made alternative plans. YABU.

DemBonesDemBones · 04/04/2024 17:00

I think I'll be in the minority but I don't think he's in the wrong. You had broken up, he invited his friend. I think it actually shows he's a nice person not ditching his mate to take you now you're back together.

CommentNow · 04/04/2024 17:00

Dunp him again and get him out of your and your kids life. They dont need to see their mum messed around like this.

Mummame2222 · 04/04/2024 16:59

😂😂😂😂 wtaf. I’m laughing at him. Of course he can’t go with her! Has he lost his mind?

Forhecksake · 04/04/2024 16:57

Yikes. It would make me wonder if I had been too quick to get back with him.

CarrotCake01 · 04/04/2024 16:57

Yeah, that's really weird and I'm not surprised you're pissed off.
Yes, if the tickets were a gift for you he should have given them to you.
And yes, I agree now that you're back together, it seems pretty inappropriate to take someone else. Extra kick in the teeth being that it was YOUR birthday present!

SadAct342 · 04/04/2024 16:57

He is, walk away... so sorry Xx