To think they should still replace it...

Absolutely this!! Brilliant 🤣🤣

You actually still call her a 'friend' after all this time?

Do you see much of her?

Arrange to go for lunch, and you'll give her a lift... and go to Dobbies (or similar!)

I doubt it. When people exaggerate they lose the upper hand, it just makes them look deluded and that they aren't serious.

she could have it delivered directly to your house, then nobody needs to collect anything. Thats just an excuse.

Don't ever lend something to someone that you definitely want back.

Definitely sold it she has I would be saying look Gill you had my bloody bbq you didn't lose it how the fuck could you it's huge! Either buy me a replacement or that's the end of this friendship

I wouldn't be asking her to replace it anymore but I would be asking for the £150 so you can buy yourself a new one.

Just send her your bank details and say you want the £150 to cover the cost of your “lost” bbq. She probably won’t send it, but then you just end the friendship. She sounds awfully ungrateful.

I bet she couldn’t be bothered to clean it or maybe she damaged it.

I would say something like ‘I resent being put in the position of annually asking for my BBQ back so let’s nip this in the bud. Please transfer £150 to my account (insert account details) and I will source one myself.’

maybe buy a new one, but keep the receipt and keep persisting she give you the money for a new one. you don't have to tell her you've already bought one. I don't think she plans to give you the money though. I wouldn't keep calling her a friend any more. Friends don't do that to one another.

YANBU

HOWEVER…..it’s probably time to let it go. But don’t forget… there was that “thing” she has, that you don’t, that you could REALLY do with borrowing….. and what a shame when you lose it and can’t return it. What are the chances eh?’

It's at least 5 years since, if she was going to replace the BBQ she would have done so by now. We've lost a few things over the years in similar circumstances and it's a pain but not much you can do other than stop lending things out.

Option 3 - ditch the "friend".

She knows she borrowed your item and "lost", gave away or sold it. She knows that you would like a replacement. She can afford to replace it but she is not one bit bothered. It's probably got to the point where she chuckles at your annual request.

She is not a nice person and certainly no friend.

She has lost it = thrown it out. Never lend anything you are not prepared to lose forever.

After 6 years I suspect this is a lost cause. Buy a new one and vow never too lend anyone anything again.

Hrwt, but, have you not been yi her house in 5 years so you can look for missing bbq? She's either sold it, or using it. Or she's got one you can take back on return.
Invite yourself over for coffee, have a look around garden, if not there, pull your phone out and insist she buys one there and then.

Also, how tf does someone lose a Barbecue!?

I’d be saying something like

“haha time for my annual reminder about replacing a BBQ which got lost. If it’s easier you could transfer the money for me to put towards a new one myself? I was going to invite you round for a BBQ, but… I kind of need one to do that 😅”

maybe a bit pas/ag but I like to go for just the right amount of arsey covered in a little joke. It tends to do the trick.

An acquaintance asked to borrow a good coat from me - angora and wool mix, made in England, they don't make them like that anymore for mass market, only tailor-made now (Crombie). She did not return it for a month. Then she said - since this is a vintage item, may I give you like £50 to keep it? I said 'no'. She said 'fine'. 2 months later she told me she can't find it anymore. Not friends, so not likely to be spending time together or even run into each other outside of work, so basically, I will never lend anything to anyone anymore. Lesson learnt.

Reminds me of a family member however it's been a decade and they still bang on about it and mum's sick of hearing it. Not very healthy holding onto something like that for so long.

6 years ago! 🤯

You should have dealt with it or let it go the first time you asked for it back. You are not getting it back now so deal with it - write it off and never lend her anything else, or write friend off for not replacing it. Time to move on.

I think she absolutely should replace it. But I would consider whether it’s worth falling out over. At this stage I think you either accept it’s lost and stop mentioning it or you be prepared that if you do insist she will fall out with you. You are absolutely NOT unreasonable - she is, but given her behaviour I don’t think she’ll change anytime soon.

Do you think she’s sold it OP, like you say, unless she lives at Sandringham Castle how the fuck do you lose a BBQ???

I had a friend who stole items from me, including jewellery with sentimental value. I say stole because she still has never returned them.
she’s no longer my friend.

It's been 6 years, how many more years are you going to bang on about it? Let it go.

Is she on SM? Put up a post for EVERYONE to see late at night when she's probably gone to bed and so can't remove it straight away ...

I lent you a BBQ 6 years ago. It was £150, brand new and still it's box. You've never returned it and every summer you fob me off when I ask you to replace it because you say you cant find it. You need to now give me the cash and I'll go and sort it's replacement.

Maybe send that to her first and put on SM if she doesn't send the money within a week