Wedding reception invite wording

Frankly, if my family were the kind of people who made that much fuss about me getting married in Vegas, I'd actually be delighted if they never spoke to me again, but anyway.

I think you can tell people to be there by 6pm without being rude. You could just include a little order of events, like:

6pm Sit-down meal
7.30pm Speeches
8pm Bar and disco (or whatever)

And then add:

"If you can't make the sit-down meal at 6pm, we'd still love to see you at 8pm for drinks and dancing - just let us know!"

This is the answer. OP the original wording, while not exactly rude, is not appropriate for the occasion. It's not a 5th birthday party.

I’ve never known anyone to just stroll into a wedding reception late.

Do the speeches after the meal. Say the meal is at 1800 with drinks from 1730. Surely people won’t want to miss the food? Then do the speeches after, that’s what usually happens anyway.

FFS you know exactly what OP means. Stop trying to derail the thread to make a stupid point. It's not a good look.

Open bar 5-6 is the only way to get them there. No entry after 6pm.

Given your stringency I would word it factually.

I'll add that your families sound horrendous - why do you want to invite them at all?

When i got married we said: we are getting married on x day, in y place and the reception is in z place. RSVP by dd.mm.yyyy

And then there was an almighty fuss from the ILs that it wouldn't be a church thing, so we just said: then don't come, we aren't doing this to please you. And that was that. We had the wedding we wanted, and 40 years later we are still happy we did it that way.

your mum is right, that is rude.
maybe put an itinerary in the invites so people get message and get the mums to spread the word amongst the siblings and hope for the best. If people turn up late that’s on them.
6 pm is vv early though . Can you push back to 7??

Also (sorry to keep chiming in), if they're 'fuming' to miss the speech, then make it as clear as day on the invite what time they are on and that they will not be admitted mid-speech. If they miss it, it's their own damn fault.

She thinks she is "eloping", as if the quotation marks make a difference.

"Me and DP are ‘eloping’ to vegas just the two of us."

Aside From the batshit mothers…

I can’t say I remember being to a wedding where people just stroll in where they fancy, but then again I’ve never been to one where it is just only the reception, I.e. there was no ceremony before. So I can maybe see why there could maybe be some confusion and some people may just think it’s for the night, rather than the meal and therefore not worry too much about timings.

i don’t think your wording is rude, but I would maybe reword it to ‘Due to a strict schedule we ask that all guests arrive by 5:45 and are seated by 6, due to the speeches we will not be able to accommodate late comers.’

Both your families sound awful btw. A wedding is supposed to be for the couple. Despite what people often think, it isn't about the wider families and it isn't about the guests.

One of my best friends is getting married in secret this year. No one knows when or where. She's only told me and one other friend because she was just excited. The reason they aren't telling people is neither of their families will accept what they want.

Just invite people. It doesn't matter if some are late. Tell the time of the speeches and its on them if they miss it.

Also op, i understand this had been a tricky thing to negotiate and organise and not what you wanted. But, for what it's worth, I think you should try and do it with good grace or not do it at all. Trying to enjoy your day and being grateful you have family who want to celebrate with you will be a happier outcome for you than doing it under duress and forever feeling bitter.

the entire thing is daft

everyone seems to despise everyone

She literally said that in the first paragraph of her OP.

Edit. Already pointed out

Just let them know when the speeches are then so they only have themselves to blame if they miss them.

Honestly, asking people to anything and telling them if they're a minute late they shouldn't come at all is astoundingly rude. Things happen, this isn't life or death.

OP literally explained in the opening post she knows she isn’t eloping.

OP, it sounds like you both have extremely difficult families and that’s why you wanted to avoid having a wedding over here as there would likely be drama? I don’t blame you for wanting to be rude on the invitations if you’re sending them to people who have pushed you into having something you don’t want.

telling people you're going to elope is a bit daft. Just invite everyone to a party to celebrate your marriage and have the party you want, not the party everyone else wants/expects.

A free bar from 6-7 would get people there on time.

I would add a timeline to your invite so:

Arrival time: 5.30pm
Seated dinner: 6pm
Speeches: 7.30pm
First Dance: 8pm

Or whatever your flow is. This will make your guests realise it's more structured than a party from 6pm. Especially if you are asking them to RSVP with dietary restrictions etc.

I would also speak to your venue and ask that they do not allow any late arrivals in during the speeches. If someone does arrive late, a table plan should be outside the room, ideally with a staff member there to give them exact directions to their seat/table to cause minimum disruption.

I think inviting an itinerary is a good idea as is not calling it a wedding reception.

Just tell them arrival from 4:30.
Its normal that the groom and bride comes later. But you should arrange some drinks and snacks so everyone will have that and as majority is family, they will enjoy grouping. That's how you will get it done on time.

"The venue have advised that all guests need to be seated by 6pm sharp & no entry will be possible thereafter".

And I agree with PP. Don't call it a wedding reception, because it's not. A wedding celebration maybe.