Wedding reception invite wording

let them fume. I am amazed that you are doing anything. If the mothers want it they can organise it and pay for it. If they are polite to you you MIGHT turn up but no promises. Set your boundaries now.

Yes word it like they do formal dinner invitations. Say 6 for dinner at 6.30. I would also explicitly say dinner, not 'reception' or 'party'.

All sounds awful op. Getting married abroad great, but doing a faux wedding reception after the event with speeches and first dances is daft.

Just stand up to your mothers! Say you'll have a party, but no speeches, no cake and no first dances.

Yes, who IS paying for it, out of interest?

Exactly, then they can enjoy their honeymoon without worrying about the upcoming potential shambles of a reception full of toxic family members.

Seriously, why?

You are letting yourselves be emotionally blackmailed into an event neither of you want, and somehow seem to be saddled with organising it to boot! I hope you're not having to pay for it too?

Listen, I know the pressure you're under, we had it too when we were getting married, because like you, we got married alone. But we sure as hell put some boundaries in place and ended up cutting them out due to the verbal abuse that was thrown at us for having the wedding that we wanted.

You do realise that if you have children, you'll be faced with more of these issues, e.g. MIL wants to be there for the birth of her precious grandchild, you don't want it, you say no, "I'll never speak to you both again if I'm not there to witness the birth", jesus @Itsaweddingoneagain stand up for yourselves and enforce some boundaries. These people will continue to emotionally blackmail and abuse you both for the rest of their days. Is that what you both want?

Cutting out my inlaws was the best decision we made, it was like a horrible weight was lifted off our shoulders and then we could actually enjoy being married, with no more verbal abuse for daring to have our wedding, that we paid for, how we wanted it.

I don't care what you call it. Eloping, having a location wedding, whatever. And on your own like you want it!!! Splendid. I hope that you have a really excellent time.

As for the invite. I can't imagine anyone thinking that showing up significantly late is acceptable. "Doors open at 5, sit down dinner starts at 6, stragglers will not be accommodated." Nice and clear to all of those who think they can watch another half hour of football or strictly come being an idiot instead of being punctual.

If it's only family coming then I don't understand why you can't just tell them when you give the invitation.

Failing that, sounds like your DM and MIL would tell everyone.

Let the 2 Mums organise & pay for it.

Then tell you what time to turn up.

both of our Mothers have explicitly told us they will never speak to us again if we don’t do something over here
um, why are you allowing yourselves to be controlled in such a hideous way? If my or my husband's mum implied something even vaguely like this we would be thinking seriously about if we wanted a relationship with them anyway.
You have far bigger problems than the definition of "eloping" or wording on an invite

What you're describing sounds like it's trying to be a formal wedding but the horse has already bolted without the real wedding ceremony and vows bit. Sounds like you've been pressurised into doing exactly what you're avoiding by going to Vegas in the first place. All a bit daft. Does it have to be this formal with speeches and first dance etc?. Can it not be a party for friends and family with food booze and music?. Sorry you've got such bloody selfish strong minded families.

Because then 100% of their wedding will be about pleasing their narcissistic relatives rather than doing what they, as a couple, actually want.

Why not just have a simple marriage in the UK before this wedding reception? Why bother going to Las Vegas? Just go for a holiday (honeymoon) after the UK event?

You need to have a window for people to arrive. Like arrival at 5:30pm offer canapes and/or drinks and then meal at 6pm. You could mention "last admission" 6pm ready for meal.

Asking people to arrive on time to the minute is unrealistic.

god I so feel for you guys - you sound lovely and are trying your best to accommodate. Both your families sound truly horrific. Forget eloping, I'd be bloody well emigrating!!!

I went to an old school friends wedding (Hindu). There were various different elements to the day - legal ceremony, different religious ceremonial elements, drinks and nibbles, greeting the bride groom under a canopy (not sure what it is called), then a dinner, speeches, cake, then dancing etc. The invitation very helpfully set out the timetable of when to arrive and when each part of the day would be happening. The greeting bit was long and lots of people dashed off and checked into their hotels during that bit and came back for the dinner! It was really helpful to know the timings.

Just make it nice and clear. It's fine to say "all welcome from 5.30pm welcome drinks , please arrive by 6pm for the start of the evening events" rather than "bums on seats"!

@ClareBlue going away was amazing, we could concentrate on what mattered. I found the party when we got back a bit unnecessary, unnecessary stress and was not a patch on our wonderful wedding and experience of going away to a castle just the 5 of us.

Just say there will be a meal will be at X. Make sure you arrive before then if you can't arrive by X please let us know as we need to know how many meals to order. Then hopefully you won't be paying for meals no one is eating.
If they arrive late they won't get fed, does it really matter though if they arrive during speeches? All it will mean is they will have to wait quietly or enter when there is a break in speech's etc

Which bit, or all of it?

This. If they know the timing then it's on them to get there on time.

Have you not read the comments about her family?!

Most people would be only too happy to avoid the wedding speeches.
Why on earth are you assuming anyone would be fuming? 😂. Seriously, they won't.

For bday parties and things il not be bang on the arrival time on the invite but for wedding receptions we always arrive at the time on the invite. There's generally always a first dance, sometimes a cake cutting etc so don't want to miss that and arrive on time always.

Invitation to wedding celebration.

Please arrive for 6 pm.
Speeches will begin at 6.30 following the arrival of the bride and groom.
Dinner will be served at 7 pm.

That's honestly sufficient without the "if you can't be bothered to come on time, don't come"

The hypocrisy from your mum about you being selfish when she is making your wedding about her feelings and your now having a wedding reception that you clearly don’t want because she’s selfishly putting her own feelings above yours.