Wedding reception invite wording

OP, ask yourself honestly- will you feel resentful about all this later? I can't believe you're paying a penny towards any of this.

You have the option to lie and tell them the vegas wedding is cancelled and you won't be getting married at all, and that you want everything else called off. They don't need to know.

what this explanation…

It will be winter here and be served and carved as one of the main options to accompany a roast style dinner.

for 50 people
a hog roast (expensive, takes many hours prep and is generally a LOT of meat) with even more meat the OP say
all for people she doesn’t like

no, please help me understand you wise one 🤭

I would put something like:

As you know we are getting married in Las Vegas but would love to celebrate with you in the UK. We are hosting the wedding breakfast on XXX date commencing at XXX time. Welcome drinks will be available at 6 and the official meal will begin at 6:30.

You seem incredibly confused by the idea. Was OPs previous explanation not enough to help you understand?

Who are these mothers that are giving am ultimatum like this?None of our DCs are married, all in long term relationships but in no way would I ever say I wouldn't speak to them if they dint have a wedding or party.Their marriage.Their choice.And frankly reading some of the crazy wedding threads on MN I'm often relieved not to be involved in any way with wedding plans.

both of our Mothers have explicitly told us they will never speak to us again if we don’t do something over here

Batshit.

So you’re basically still having a big wedding, just without the ceremony! Your mothers have no say, it’s your lives to live how you wish and you don’t owe anyone a wedding. As if they’d never speak to you again! What kind of parents would they be to cut contact over not getting to be mother of the bride/groom? Bin the reception idea if you don’t want the hassle, it’s not up to your mums.

@Itsaweddingoneagain I'm sorry, I really really don't get this. Its only 50 people and by the sounds of it its just family, can't you just text or ring people and say 6pm is the latest not from 6pm? Or better yet, get your mums to sort it.

Tbh OP, at this point I would have snapped and said to both mothers (and your siblings of they've joined in the ridiculousness) 'This entire shitshow you are creating is why we are getting married in Vegas. We've had enough. It's not happening. You need to cancel everything, because DF and I will not be attending.'

And if they threaten to not speak to you, frankly I'd enjoy the peace and quiet, and warn them that 'That's entirely your choice, but if you continue to try to railroad us into a wedding we do not want it is us that will not speak to you.'

And then when you're back from Vegas I'd take your lovely Granny to somewhere gloriously fabulous for a meal to celebrate, just you DH, and her. Seriously, the Ritz or something - blow the lot of them out the water.

Oh god your family sound like mine. Tell them that since the wedding is for their benefit they need to sort it out and pay for it.

I literally did nothing for mine, I didn't even look round the venue or choose the invites. My DM & MIL put on an embarrassing charade for 150 of their friends. Absolute numbskulls.

@Itsaweddingoneagain I completely empathise, we had a very similar wedding due to very similar circumstances. I didn’t even want a bloody wedding, but am a standard people pleaser so ended up ‘eloping’ to get the ceremony done and then all sorts of reception/party/renewal of vows shite that I hated but felt obliged to do because both of our families are bat shit crazy.

It ate away at me for years, but 20 years on my resentment has settled. Plus we are the only couple out of 6 siblings between us that are still married so I feel very smug 💪🏻😂

After many tears, arguments and pushbacks from both sides of our family we’ve decided to host a wedding reception in the UK the month after we get back. Not something we really wanted to do but both of our Mothers have explicitly told us they will never speak to us again if we don’t do something over here.

That would be me cutting contact with the rest of my family then. This is next level psychotic.

Sarah and Max are delighted to invite you to celebrate their marriage

date, time, venue

Please arrive from 6pm, for a 6:30pm start. Dinner will be served at 7.30pm and the dancing will go on until late.

As long as people have an it itinerary I don't see the problem.

Families are families, it is what it is.

I like @CettePersonne list.

Reminds me of parties round here, so do be specific.

Mostly farmers, most have 18 or 21st.

All follow same format, booze, in barn, bbq or hog roast later type thing.

We were invited to one last year, our valley booked a bus. Was a tricky one, end of lambing. Invite said barn party, from 6. So usually we would arrive 8 once kids down.

I was at home with kids, bus left at seven. a load of starving farmers, stopped for a chippy, arrived to find the, finishing a three course meal, multiple tables empty and people walking in. Nobody had done this before, they never told anyone, they said it was a surprise. 😮 was just embarrassing all round. The parents were all furious, the youths thought it was hilarious, they had not even told the birthday 21st person who was cross all night about lack of hog roast.

So all is fine, so long as people know what to expect

Please arrive promptly for 6pm.

Perhaps simply the above.

a hog roast is a three course sit down meal served by waiting staff? 🤔

I just want to say that i am so sorry you are being forced into something you don't want to keep the peace.

Myself and DP also want to elope and my mum would also be similarly manipulative to get the wedding SHE wants me to have not the wedding WE want to have.

So we just aren't getting married anytime soon as we can't be bothered with it all. As adults and at this point of life id really hoped to be done with all this rubbish.

you’re having us on op

no way

You cannot write that, it is rude. The reality is that what you’ve organised might be seen as fairly casual and I personally don’t think you are going to be able to avoid people being late. If you were having a seated dinner it would be a different story. Perhaps try and rejig things so your speeches come later and so it’s less of a problem.

Love it! 🥰

Is this a professional rep thing for one Mum. She organises events professionally so she needs to show case her own family and show how it is done. Doesn't want the 'well she couldn't even organise a proper event for her daughter, sort of gossip....'