10 year old alone after school?

It's no longer the cultural norm in the UK to let young children do (almost) anything on their own. Other countries - including Sweden where @Simonjt is, and Germany where I am - are still very much like the UK was in the 1980s: children walk home from primary school, and are given a lot more independence and freedom in general. It's not neglectful, the children here are also "small, vulnerable and needing to be looked after and cared for" but that doesn't mean they can't be on their own at home for a while after school.

I actually gave mine a choice of after school club or coming home on her own for a bit and she picked the latter.

Giving kids responsibilities and letting them handle things alone absolutely does help in building confidence and independence. You may not like that for wherever reason but it doesn’t change the fact that most people learn and build confidence in new things best by doing them.

It’s entirely possible your 10 year old wouldn’t manage and would be lonely and that’s understandable. It’s also entirely possible you are massively underestimating what your 10 year old could quite happily manage given the choice. As I’ve mentioned in a past post all my child’s Y5 9-10 year old friends manage time alone fine. They don’t do it every school night so it’s not exactly the same but I suspect many of them would prefer it to being at a childminder if those were their options.

I did, from 10, because I begged to be allowed to rather than being by far the oldest child at a childminder's. I think it's fine if your child is happy and sensible.

A key safe would have helped me, as I wasn't great at remembering my key.

DD used to walk herself home and let herself in from 10, she'd be alone till one of us got home from work. Never had an issue.

It is not neglectful. It totally depends on how mature the child is, what sort of area you live in and what the journey home is like. Honest to goodness, I know things have changed since us gen x'ers were young but heavens to Betsy, this is all getting very silly.

What do you think is less safe today than in the 80s?

Their parents grew up doing the same, if it bothered them when they were children you'd think they'd do something different (one parent stay home, work different shifts etc.) But in general they don't feel like that. My daughter always begged to stay home, she certainly wasn't bothered by looking after herself!

It has plenty to do with being sensible. And it's not the 80s where I live but this is still the reality, as it is in many other countries. The UK is an outlier in how little independence it gives children.

After school clubs?

When I was growing up (1980s) this seemed pretty regular and with my sibling walked home from school around this age. Alone after school and sometimes during holidays.

But things were a lot safer back then. I wouldn’t have done this with mine even 2 decades ago.
There’s no moral right or wrong but I think it’s realistic to acknowledge this comes with a risk(?)

From Yr 5 around here the school allows children to walk home on their own if parents give permission. They need to learn some independence skills little by little. When I was 11 my Mum was teaching and our neighbour was a nurse. All 5 of us (2 of her’s and 3 of my Mum’s would be left at home) if our Mum’s both had to work. Shock horror all day! My brothers would have been 10 and 13. We were fine. Either our neighbour would nip home between her district round or my Dad would pop home in his lunch hour from the factory. If he did I would be expected to make him lunch - a banquet of bread and butter and campbells soup from a can, the kind where you had to add milk or water by filling up the empty can! Anyway we were fine - played and watched TV.

They manage because they have no choice.

I wouldn't dream of expecting this of my own 10 year old.

I suspect those who are ok with it foster independence and confidence blah blah...

Meanwhile youngsters are being left to fend for themselves when they are far too young to be left alone.

I’ve probably watched too many crime documentaries but I’d never in a million years leave a child on their own. But that’s just me.

It’s got nothing to do with being sensible
its to do with being small, vulnerable and needing to be looked after and cared for.

too many variables for a 9 year old to make their way home and then care for themselves for 2.5 hours

Really inappropriate . It’s not the 80s anymore

I think it’s fine. DS2 was only 11 in the August and getting the bus home and home alone for 2hrs. If we lived close enough to walk in primary he would have practised in year 6

Could you get an older person to look after them in their own home for an hour a night? Maybe cheaper than a child minder?

My smallest DC walks home from school the days me and DH are working. In a bad week that's 3 days. The longest she's on her own is about an hour as older DC arrives in from school then. Started this at 9 and a half. She has her own key and all our neighbours know she can be in on her own and at least one is always available if any issues.

I think this is all very dependent on the DC themselves, and how you feel as a parent what's appropriate for your family. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I tend to agree. Where we are there is a first, middle and high school system rather than primary and secondary. As a result the natural cutoff for kids to start gaining more independence has become Y5 rather than Y7. It’s weird round here not to leave kids alone/let them walk home alone from 9 when they get to middle school. It’s clearly weird elsewhere to do it before Y7. I think it being commonplace and it being a fairly densely populated area also leads to a bit more community support between parents than you might have otherwise.
I find it a bit sad so many people are appalled at the concept of KS2 kids being competent, sensible and confident enough to manage things on their own. I personally think it’s great and that the kids really enjoy being trusted with more independence over time.

Absolutely.

We got a lot of judgement because we let DS walk home from about half way through year 5. Either he'd be stopped by random parents to check why he was alone (mildly annoying although I did appreciate the general community spirit of keeping an eye out) or me/DH would receive text messages. It was so frustrating. He was 10 years old, sensible and alert.

Don't get me wrong, he got a bit scared sometimes. But actually, that was helpful. He learnt to navigate those moments too in a relatively safe environment. And all of this was driven by him - it's not like we were forcing him to do something he didn't want to do. We allowed him to do something he was desperate to do, supported him by offering a way in, offered advice when he needed it and were proactively at the end of the phone (like the time the Amazon man banged on the door more than once and DS got a fright! )

Childminder
After school club

There's no way around it.

I understand that @Simonjt is in a different country but frankly, I realyl wish the UK could be a bit more European in its approach. This ridiculous paranoia around children is bizarre. My SIL, on moving to a new country, was taken aside by the teacher when DN was 6 to say it was time she left him to walk alone!

I wish it could be too! My child was left for 30 minutes on two days, and (most commonly) 90 minutes on two more days (occasionally an hour longer on the second day). He was not a neglected child. That second job enabled me to pull us out of poverty. The paranoia and judgement needs to stop.

Actually reading your updates 10.5 years old in a small village - I'd be fine with that.

I did leave mine at home alone at that age now and again but it's young for it to be every day.

But if there's no other option then it's what you need to do OP

Are there no after school clubs around?

Bit OTT. Some 10-11 yr olds will be fine, others not. I would have been fine, my brother would have left the door wide open and gone out to play. Each child is different. Thought: Why do we infantilise children that a generation ago would have been left with no problem? Our local school-Primary kids met off the bus to the village. All the sec. school kids leave their bus and walk home alone. There's 6 weeks between them.