10 year old alone after school?

10 seems to young to me - I think if they were home and you had to go out during that time for a couple of hours to work it wouldn't be so bad but it's the getting home from school bit that isn't great.

Could you see if there are any gcse /A'level students who have finished their exams and could do pick-up and stay til 5.30pm?

Or failing that you will need an after school nanny or childminder.

Rather than asking on Mumsnet, find out what other parents do in his year and maybe share childcare?

Only if you make decisions for your child based on the (very low) bar of a safe guarding/neglect concern.

A sensible, rational answer from someone who clearly knows what they are talking about. 👏

You can give up your job, rely on benefits and mollycoddle your child like the pearl clutchers. Or you can find a schoolfriend's parents who are happy to have your child to play ( reciprocate when not working). Or you can start preparing your child now to be more resilient and independent than their peers. So start to leave them in the house for 15 minutes at a time while you are nearby. Then up it to 30 minutes. Show them where they can get food and a cold drink and impress on them they are not to touch a cooker.

Teach them how to summon help, including dialing 999. We started to teach ours this at a much younger age, you may also have already done so. They need to give their name, location, phone number and the problem.

Walk the route to school, even if it is not a school day, with them alone in front of you.

Explain to them why you need to do this, that it's not ideal but neither is being broke.

School Safeguarding Lead here. It's not quite as simple as "this is neglect" or "it isn't neglect". There are a lot of variables and context is very important. One of the biggest challenges in safeguarding is making a distinction between a parent neglecting their child and parenting that is not ideal or in line with how I or my colleagues would personally parent our children. There are many things I would personally not wish for my children that do not come under the category of neglect or abuse.

At the school where I work Teachers will not release a child to walk home alone until Year 5. That is school policy. Once they are in Year 5 parents can send in written permission for them to walk/cycle home independently if they wish.
If someone came to me with a concern that a 10 year old child was going home to an empty house and would be there alone until their adult returned later in the evening I would speak to the parent, and the child to establish the following:

What time will the parent usually be home? If it's 5.30/6pm that's very different to it being so late into the evening that the child is unable to have dinner or go to bed at a reasonable time.

How does the child feel about being left alone? If they are distressed or worried by the situation that would be a concern.

Do they have access to a landline or mobile so they can seek help in the event of a problem?

Does the child understand what they would need to do in the event of an emergency and can they explain this confidently?

Has the child sustained any injury or harm as a result of being left unsupervised?

How far away from home does their parent work and are they contactable? If they're not able to get back quickly in the event of a problem I would expect them to have a neighbour/relative/family friend on 'standby' that the child could easily get in touch with.

This would also need to be considered in the context of the child's general presentation. Are they generally happy, well rested, clean and well turned out? Are they generally on time for school and is their homework being done? Rightly or wrongly, if the child is happy, seems to be progressing well and there were no other safeguarding concerns then I can guarantee that Children's Services would not be interested in a capable 10 year old being on their own for a couple of hours each afternoon after school.

All this hysteria about an 11 year old being on their own for 2 hours in their own home. If your child is sensible enough to be able to unlock the door on their own and sit on an ipad / TV for the time then go for it. We all did it years ago!

My own kids did too and only 10 years ago.

No, I haven't name changed. My other posts will tell you my occupation but I am absolutely happy with their teachers, social services, CPS, etc knowing. Have you personally spoken to professionals from these organisations about children being home alone? I have and that's how we came to the decision that this was the best option for our child.

What do you think happened in the 80s? We walked to school from the age of 5 in our village and when we moved to London (I was 7) my mum took me on the first day and then sent me alone. We knew who the dodgy people were and were mostly in a group. Nothing happened.

its fine - if child is happy to do so. IMO, it’s no less safe now than 30 years ago - it’s that we hear about things more through social media and media in general. The vast majority of harm to children comes from someone they know rather than total strangers.
You need to work, you dont earn all that much (female centric industry I’m assuming) and the difference in income is probably whether your child is fed, or has more heat/warm clothes. Put in fall back mechanisms - someone to call on, walk them through scenarios - and then give them the opportunity to practice an enhanced degree of independence.

It's fine if the child is happy to do it, 11 year olds should be OK on their own for an hour or so.

People can be very dramatic on here, fending for themselves 🤣 like they're dodging wild animals on the way home from school then going out hunter gathering before building a fire to cook whatever they've caught rather than grabbing a snack from the kitchen and turning the TV on

I think it's fine if the kid is responsible and ok with it, and tend to agree that cultural norms in Uk and US are a bit over protective.

I was 10 when my mum let me walk to a museum by myself and spend a couple of hours there. There weren't mobile phones so she couldn't even check in on me. There are museums around where I live now (USA) where the staff will come and find you if you leave your under 15 kid in another room of the museum for 5 minutes.

My sisters used to get the public bus home together age 11 and 8 in Scotland.

I'm not yet sure when I will let DS come home by himself or stay home alone for more than a very short period but I have 10 in mind as a reasonable age.

I think that's absolutely fine.

My nine year old (turns 10 next month) gets the school bus home twice a week (we are in the US; literally door-to-door service) and is alone for just under an hour until his big sister gets home. In September when he's in year 6 he'll be doing that 4 days a week. He gets himself a drink, snuggles up to our dog and plays Minecraft. I am not concerned.

It isn't neglect. Get a grip.

How did we get to this, surely we're not infantilising a whole generation? At 8 I was roaming south Manchester., catching the bus, hiring a boat. walking down to the Mersey to see the frogs when the river overflowed, walking to my friend's house a mile away. She walked to school on her own from 8, twice a day as she went home for dinner. At 5 I went by bus with my 8 year old sister every Sun am to our piano lessons.The norm was you called out to your Mum on Sat morning 'I'm going out now', and she said 'don't be late for dinner at 1'. At 10 my friend was catching a train and then a bus to get to Secondary School. (She'd passed the entrance exam a year early.) Another friend was cycling to a station to catch a train then bus to school at 11. I routinely shopped for my Mum and aunt from 8. Hopefully there are still a majority of parents who are teaching their children independence.

Do they not have any after school activities they can stay to.

At my DDs' school, pupil can walk to and from school unaccompanied by an adult from Term 5 of Year 4.
I wouldn't allow my DDs at that age, as both have SEN and we live 30 mins walk from the school.
However, I do think children within the UK are wrapped in cotton wool, thus I think (in the absence of SEN etc), children's independence should be encouraged at an earlier age than appears to be the current norm.

Mine walked to/from school alone in yr 6 and would be home alone 4-6 with zero problems at all

Depends on the child, I had a friend at school who was a latchkey kid from 9 and I remember she had to get the bus home, she was fine. She knew how to cook, deal with basic things going wrong (like a blown fuse), knew the neighbours and had numbers for both her parents. She'd generally have about 2 hours home alone each night. She grew up into an adult who was capable and resilient.

I had another friend who was never left on her own to the point that when her parents left her in the house for a few days on her own at age 22, she messed up cooking an M and S ready meal so badly, that she lived off sandwiches until they got back. She had no idea how to do anything, couldn't cook, use the washing machine, change a bulb, nothing.

I don't think I'd leave my old child from 9 - but 10/11 - I'd give it a test run and see how it went. If the child is normally sensible and knows what to do if something went wrong, they should be ok.

I hadn’t realised they had different splits by area. Ours are
First school - reception & Y1-4
middle school - Y5-8
high school - Y9-13

I grew up somewhere with primary/secondary or infant/junior/secondary & was oblivious another system existed. I’m sadly intrigued to discover there is yet another variation available.

We have first:middle:high school. Middle school is y6-Y8. DS's birthday is in October - he was 11 the week he started middle school. He used to walk himself home -got in about 3.45 , and was alone for about an hour and a half til me or dh got in. He'd ring us when he got in, and I'd leave him a snack in the fridge. It's completely normal for Y6 kids where we live because of the middle school system.

If the DC were only 7 they’d still be eligible for their current childcare, which OP has been able to afford.

My child is 10, 11 in October. No, I wouldn't leave him home on his own. However, I am in the fortunate position of grandparents collecting him from school. His school is a car drive away. If the school was walkable and the time home alone was an hour, then maybe yes, I would let him.

Honestly? Despite the pearl clutchers, you really should be able to trust a 10 year old on this. Are there kids in the neighbouring houses at the school? Its summer term, I'd probably:

• check if there are any school run clubs at all after school
• encourage them to walk back with other kids going the same way

However, yabu to think a couple of hours after school care would eat up everything you are earning. What tosh! Childcare for one 10 year old is far less than even minimum wage and you get all the time they are at school for no childcare cost, so its worth it. I mean what would you do if your DC was only 7? Childcare is just an inevitable cost of working & earning.

I actually gave mine a choice of after school club or coming home on her own for a bit and she picked the latter.

Mine had a choice too for my earlier finishing job. School was on my way home so I could have picked him up after an hour in asc. He chose the bus with his friends and a short time home alone. For my later finishing job, school was in the opposite direction, but I still made sure he was fine with it before I took the job.