10 year old alone after school?

It wouldn’t be the short period at home alone that would worry me it would be the walking home

I may have missed something on this thread but one thought I have is how do you cope with child care during school holidays OP ? Can you not use the same 'cover' for after school?

Personally I would not have left my DD alone at 10, it about their ability to know what to do in an emergency, or an unexpected situation. Also 3.15 until 5.30pm is an awfully long period of time. We live in the same type of community as you and DD is now in Y7, it has only been this year I’ve allowed her home alone and only for short periods of time, an hour max. The change in them from Y6 to Y7 is huge especially with having to catch the bus on their own etc.

Wow, that is extortionate! Most people I know pay £6 an hour for their childminder. We pay £5.50 and I pay her for 2 hours after school three times a week. She has my youngest 9-5 for the same three days but she also has kids with no younger siblings in her care who just go for the 2 hours after school too. We’re also in a village and the wrap around at the school here finishes at 4.30 and is very limited so not an option for us as I don’t finish until just after 4 and it takes at least 30 mins for me to drive back with no traffic (but I can’t guarantee that!)

No after school clubs they could go to ?

Depends on the child. I'd leave my daughter but never my son.

I'm a Gen Xer though so may have very outdated opinions.😆

6months ago I would have said of course not. However, our road (nice area, low crime for the first 15 of the 18 years we’ve lived here) gets a break in every 3-6 weeks - back doors smashed in, bike lockers broken into etc.

I happed to walk in on a couple of black balaclava’ed thieves in my neighbours house in feb (thought the cleaners had set the alarm off). They ran, taking their swag but the guys who did the previous burglary 3 week earlier further down the road were armed and hen a WFH dad found them it got nasty. They target houses around here between 4-6 - ie as it first gets dark and before people get home from work. Lights were on in both of the houses I mentioned above, but that didn’t stop them. My Gp receptionist took a all from her 11yo son to say their house was being broken into at 8am, ie after they think everyone has left the house.

So, now? No, I wouldn’t let a 10yr old let themselves in and be alone for 2hrs unless I knew there was a neighbour nearby. Not without alarms and training them up on how to use it.

But these opinions are likely formed by your own cultural norms. I know mine certainly are. To me 8yo going home alone from school is totally normal cause that's what happened when inwas that age and that's what all the kids in the neighbourhood do. 5yo catching trains alone is crazy to me cause in my surroundings it is considered inappropriate and dangerous. If it was the done thing here, we would consider it to be fine.

I personally wouldn't leave my 11yo (12 in May) at present for more than about 15-20 minutes.
He's a young 11 still, possibly ND, and has been severely bullied, so that makes a difference I think. He's also an over-thinker and is sensitive and anxious.
But every child is different and matures at different rates, so I would go on what you feel is right and safe for your child.
Just because I know mine isn't ready, doesn't mean yours isn't too.

They should be ok. Keep in touch via text/ phone as much as possible between 3.15 and when you get home. Some responses on here are OTT about danger and neglect. As long as your nearly 11 year old is sensible it’s ok. some 11 year olds could not be trusted owing to lack of common sense, immaturity etc.

Hi

i think this is fine at age 10 although you know your own child and how trustworthy they are.

when did we stop allowing our kids to do this stuff? We have technology now: phones, FaceTime, tracking device support, ring doorbell etc so surely it’s safer than ever?

i would say it’s ok. Tell him to call when he gets in and leave a snack out.

Can he go home with a mate one day and have a friend back with him
another for company?

do you have a friendly neighbour he can call if he needs anything or feels worried?

it’s only really 1.5 hours alone and most kids just watch tv, play computer games

Is there a neighbour they could go to for an hour or two? They might do it much cheaper than a professional childminder. When I was 16 or so, a younger kid (10 or so) would come to our house after school and be collected at around 6. I'd help him with his homework and they gave me £10/week (mid-80's). If not, then maybe another parent?

Says who?! Very much depends on a number of factors I would think. Judgy comments like yours are so unhelpful

If as you say , your child is sensible, l see no reason why they cannot be home alone for a couple of hours...l did it with my son, he was fine...You can always ask your child to text you when they leave school & to text again when they are home to put your mind at rest. Hope it works out for you

Such pearl clutching in this thread.

It depends on the child. Obviously if you have a child who would be bereft and burn the place down due to the confusion of being alone, then that isn't the child to send home on their own with a key.

If your child is generally sensible, will listen if you tell them some basic instructions (lock the door when you get home, get a snack that doesn't require cooking, play minecraft) and knows how to use the phone then they're probably fine. TBH you could also probably see if they're okay to go to a mate's house once or twice a week; at that age they tend to amuse themselves and I was fine with DS having a friend over when I was a SAHM and someone needed childcare.

I was a latchkey child at that age. Most of my friends were as well, but it was at the dawn of time and mums were out gathering berries whilst our fathers were hunting mammoths. 😜

My 10 yo was a latch key kid for all of yr 6. She loved the responsibility and independence. She knew she could go to a neighbour if there was a problem, or call me. Can you have a adult neighbour/ friend available physically if there is a problem?

Studies have shown that the issues of increasing lack of childhood independent mobility is a real concern for children's well being and development.
Yup, decreasing independent mobility is not good

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/315755777_Children%27s_Independent_Mobility_an_international_comparison_and_recommendations_for_action

"Children’s independent mobility matters for a variety of reasons, including the ability to be autonomous and safe outside the home, staying physically fit and reducing the risk of obesity, and developing social and practical skills. Losing this independence can leave children less self-sufficient, less healthy and less free. It is therefore vital to understand the ways in which the ability to travel independently have changed and what this implies for society and future policy"

Thankfully my country still has decent independent mobility for children, because parents can be arsed to teach their children how to travel safely and independently.

"The degree of independent mobility granted to Finnish children is striking. At age 7, a majority of Finnish children can already travel to places within walking distance or cycle to places alone; by age 8 a majority can cross main roads, travel home from school and go out after dark alone, by age 9 a majority can cycle on main roads alone, and by age 10 a majority can travel on local buses alone. Overall, Finland is the top-performing country across almost every independent mobility indicator in this study, coming second only to Germany for children’s self-reported freedom to travel on local buses alone."

Why have kids if you cba with this very basic requirement.

It's this sort of ridiculous statement that makes your worries about children of 8 or whatever age being left at home so hard to swallow.

Fine, if you don't want to give your children that independence, fine. But the judgey ridiculousness is pathetic.

I could turn it around on you and say, "why have kids if you CBA to even put the effort in to ensure can have independence."

Studies have shown that the issues of increasing lack of childhood independent mobility is a real concern for children's well being and development. It's not "CBA" to say that actually, I think my child will be fine being left at home for a few hours. It's a specific choice based on what you believe is best for your child and what your child can handle.

'Wait until they find out five year olds in Japan take the train alone to school 🤣'

A five year old catching a train alone all the lolz! I mean what could possibly go wrong.

I'm far from being a helicopter parent but I do think 5 (and 8 year olds) need a certain amount of parental attention and supervision. Why have kids if you cba with this very basic requirement.

Wait until they find out five year olds in Japan take the train alone to school 🤣

Can you apply for flexible working and change your work hours. They have to accomodate if its reasonable

so they are still in primary next year ? I would ask if they can stay another year if they are still there

Absolutely no problem. I'm shocked that this many people are so precious about leaving a child alone for a fraction of the day - how ridiculous

It's not neglect 🙄 in the UK, there is no legal age for leaving a child unattended unless they are at risk. If this post was about a 2 year old, then I would agree with you as 2 year olds can harm themselves and not look after themselves at all, but this post is about an older child.

OP - it really depends on whether or not your child is mature enough to be by themselves for 2 hours. There's no reason why they can't, you just need to make sure that they can contact you if need be, and that they don't open the door. Ultimately, you know your child best

And also all other nordics. And baltics. And a lot of central europe.