10 year old alone after school?

Noisysnail I do agree with that to a certain extent but in another way it is unfair to expect a primary child to deal with them as they come up, secondary sure, older secondary definitely.

The person knocking on the door that my son hid from, If I know for sure who it is, is a dodgy looking character that would unsettle any adult even (he goes around asking about doing guttering/ cleaning bins/cars/ anything). He has a shifty smile and stares at you. The dog was fricking huge and not friendly looking (is not a big bouncy black lab, more a Rottweiler looking for his dinner type!)The fire and the glass-I just don't think 11 without an adult is the age to deal with it.

@stayathomer Children need to learn to deal with those things. Someone knocks on the door you do not know, just do not answer. A strange dog runs around the garden, do not go outside and ring your parent. Fire alarm goes off, go outside and knock on neighbours door. You break a glass, you need to know how to carefully clean it up.
Children can feel scared or unsure, but this is how resilience is built. You cope with things outside your comfort zone and learn that you can deal with it.

Just saw above poster- that’s a great idea- could you start child minding instead?

Why are people using 11 as a marker? Surely you use 12/13/secondary as one? Personally I’ve always said the thing isn’t the usual crazily out of the ordinary things like eg a fire (although our toaster once randomly went up in flames!!), it’s someone creepy knocking at the door and your child feeling scared and not having anyone there to answer the door/ tell them it’s ok (happened to 13 yo who hid in his room), we’ve had weird things like a huge black dog coming into the garden and the kids freaking out (we were there to tell them it was fine), the fire alarm once went off and my 16yo nearly fell over running down the stairs (again we said relax, all ok), or a glass smashing or something like that. These are the everyday reasons people have to parent. And yes some kids are more street smart and better equipped, but I see some of these street smart kids nearly get knocked down on their way to school, or run over to strange dogs etc. there’s things in life we find difficult as adults so why expect a child to navigate it on their own? Op can you or your partner cut back your hours? Does your child have a friend they could go to one or two days and you could give them a few quid? I left my job at the end of last year for this reason (youngest is 9). Myself and dh couldn’t take the juggling and the begging and arguing anymore. It’s so hard

Just a thought : if there is only one childminder in the area and she earns significantly more than you , perhaps you could consider switching careers ? It sounds like 2 hours of childminding would earn you the same that you earn now for a full day of work . Also , if you are a career I would imagine you already have all the safety checks ( like police checks etc ) . Food for though , perhaps ? Best of luck x

My DD year 6, 11 in June, comes home by herself as I now work later. There are loads of kids all going the same way so she's never actually alone. Has keys, let's herself in. Her dad is sometimes home and sometimes gets home 30mins or so later. She's fine, she's sensible, I work 5 mins drive away so can get back if I need to.

My daughter turns 11 in August and she will be going to secondary school a few weeks later. Your son will be the same age a few weeks later and will be nearly 12 by the time he starts secondary school.

I think it depends on age and maturity rather than school year. An 11 year old is fine imo unless they have special needs or other circumstances make it difficult.

You know your son… can he be trusted alone for 2 hours? Will he just go in and then game for 2 hours or will he start playing with matches or attempt to
cook something? Will he put toast in then stick a Knife in the toaster when it gets stuck?

I was once at a train station in London on a Sunday. The station was packed with unaccompanied young children, presumably being sent to boarding schools. It seemed so wrong to me.

I was home alone till 6 after school even younger and quite happy. Hated the childminder so great for me.

I think the comments saying it's neglect though are completely rediculous

I would get a childminder until they were starting secondary school

I absolutely agree with this.

In my day when I was a child the 1970s … it wasn’t deemed a problem but not these days
10 is too young .. half an hour yes at a push ..

@stichguru Not to be argumentative, but just I'm interested... Do you see being alone in a house as more dangerous than doing a walk alone? If so, why? My parents always trusted me, but "didn't trust other people", so would have had no issue leaving me in the house for a time, but didn't let me walk alone anywhere until I was 17! Although of course I could walk places with a friend. I guess I now see the streets as less safe. It's so interesting seeing on this thread how people's "norms" growing up shape their perceptions...

My child started doing a 7 minute walk home alone aged 8 when dad and I both had COVID. We then went back to collecting him until he was 9.5 on his request. Since he was 10 he has walked both ways alone but never to an empty house. We do leave him in the house alone when we are on a local walk on the estate. Personally I would say walking home alone is fine, but not to an empty house until he's in secondary school.

I paid a friend £5 an hour or £2.50 per half hour when DC was in Y5/6. However, if you use a Registered Childminder you should be able to claim for Childcare Tax Credits/Free Childcare which is why they charge so much! There may be someone at school who would be happy to do it for £10 a day (parent, not teacher!)

It all depends on your DC. If they're OK with it then that's fine. If not then you need to explore why and what you can do to make them feel comfortable.

Primary schools are allowed to let year 5 and 6 kids walk home alone if the parents agree. It's pretty normal. Obviously every scenario is different but if you feel you live somewhere safe, your DC is happy and there are ways for them to contact you and other people if anything goes wrong, then it should be fine.

I know we all bang on about the old days - but in the 70s my siblings and I (primary aged, probably 9 onwards?) would cycle or bus all over the place from dawn to dusk - and that was without mobile phones. Kids do need to learn independence, and this sounds like an ideal opportunity!

Childminder or after school clubs or do deals with the parents of your child's friends.

But foremost childminder or after school activity.

i think 10 is marginally on the young side . I had to consider similar when my dd was 11 but coming back 4.40.
It would be important not to assume they know what to do in an emergency . If they lost key what wud they do , not to mess with toasters etc . I was surprised what my dd didn’t know tbh. Had to talk thru what to do in fire / stranger at door / etc etc . They can’t really problem solve at a young age so everything has to be spoken about . And a neighbour they can go to is v important. Good luck xx

I had similar dilemma . W

This will always be specific to the child, but generally speaking I think 2 hours at home alone is reasonable for a 10 year old.

Have a routine and rules set up for them - use a visual list tacked to the fridge or a checklist if that helps. Talk through what to do in an emergency (and what emergencies are call-999 worthy, which ones are call a neighbor worthy). Do some practice runs over the summer so everyone feels comfortable.
-Call/text mum or dad (or other available adult) that I'm home
-Unpack bag and put shoes & such away
-Snack - no stove or oven use
-Homework
-Screen time or playing within X radius of the house with friends, etc.
-No having friends over or going to other houses without prior approval from parents

I was babysitting neighbor children by that age, and we have far better options to keep in contact today. You're not a bad parent for giving them some age-appropriate responsibility.

When I had to leave my home alone, I contacted her through Alexa. We left it on 'drop in' so could hear my voice or I could occasionally have a chat. Eventually both of us felt a bit more secure/comfortable that she could drop in on me (alexa app on my mobile) when she needed. This was longer than few hours during school holidays but no other option. Just have chats and imaginary scenarios on what to do for certain events like not answering door at all etc . Your daughter will probably love the time and responsibility

I did this everyday day when I was 11. Super short walk. Mostly it meant I didn’t do my homework and watched TV

I don’t have a 10yo but there seems to be a lot of perl clutching on here. What are people afraid of? That their children will light to house on fire by using the job? That they will get snatched? That they might play the drums loudly and annoy the neighbours? Yes children are vulnerable but that word means different things in different contexts so not really helpful. Some of these things can be worked on some can’t.

Surely DD knows to ring a neighbour or ring her mother in an emergency? Or ring 999. What else could she do?