10 year old alone after school?

This is so interesting to read. Think it depends a lot on the context and individual child.

in the Scandinavian country where I live, around half of 10 year olds would go home by themselves either by bike foot or public transport. I wouldn’t let my 10 year old do it, likely cos I’m used to the more protective culture in the UK. I’m Finland, where I used to live, most kids go home from school by themselves around 8 and definitely by 9, even in the big cities.

to me, the main issue would be that the kid would likely feel lonely and spend a lot on time on screens, unless this was prohibited. Wouldn’t be too worried about anything going seriously wrong.

I am staggered by this. 8 years old walking home alone and staying alone for up to 3 hours..

Not something I have heard of or would be ok with.

No OP, I don't think it is ok. Too risky at such a young age.

8 - that's appalling. Sorry but it really is.

Our eight year old walks home alone and is home alone until we get home which ranges from about 30-180 minutes. Its fine, he makes himself a snack and drink, watches a bit of TV, plays lego etc if he hasn’t gone to the park with friends on the way home.

Can you work on a get home routine if there aren’t any after school clubs etc?

Thats what I was about to suggest. I did this when I was in my final year at high school.

I looked after a boy who must have been around 10/11. Certainly still at primary school. I went after school & basically babysat for an hour or so til his parents got home.

It was great. I was obviously a lot cheaper to pay than a childminder but it saved me getting a Saturday job.

Might be worth exploring

We use a friends older brother who only works mornings. Are there any college students etc who are free around that time?

Ah yes. I still think the child will be fine as long as the school isn't that far from home and there aren't busy roads. An after school club would be best.

Fending for themselves is neglect

No it isn't.

The OP has said the child turns 11 in September - so they are probably still in Year 5 at the moment.

Is there an after school club and do they live close enough to the school to walk home? If they're at a club for an hour then that means less time at home. They'll finish primary school in 3 months so I think it's fine to leave them home alone as long as they have a charged phone to ring you.

Sounds like you need a Mother's Help or a regular baby sitter. Is there a nearby college that finishes early enough that a student could pick her up and supervise her for a few hours? Would be good for someone doing a childcare course, more of a big sister / au pair type role.

No one would blink an eye at an 11 year old at secondary was home alone for a couple of hours even if they were born in August so similar to your daughter. Before I started WFH my daughter loved those hours to herself and was most put out when I was at home all the time.

OP could you do a few practice runs and see how sensible your DC is, can they manage the key, do they feel safe on his own etc?

But she isn't at secondary school and won't be for 18 months.

certainly can't just cut my hours short leaving a vulnerable adult alone because it suits me

It's not 'because it suits you', it's because you are a parent. Responsible for a young child.

Neglect?! Slight over-reaction.

Depends very much on the child, where you live, whether you have reliable neighbours etc. Obviously have the "what if" discussions and check in regularly.

I know it was different in my day but I was certainly doing this for short periods at the age of 9/10.

Alternatively, you need to suck it up and pay for short term childcare. Won't be for long.

Well you can if you have some back ups in place just in case something is a problem. I know numerous people who do and whose kids have me as their person to ask for help if there is an issue and so far all year two out of six of them have ever needed help. One forgot his keys one day and hung out with us till his mum was home. The other had a fuse blow so all the lights went out and again she chose to hang out with us till her parents were back

OP are 10 year olds allowed to walk home on their own as school policy varies on this?

If 11 in September then yes I think it’s fine to come home and wait if sensible. I did at that age, no problem. When she starts secondary school most of the kids will be walking home then often home without a parent for a bit

OP, you say "our" and "we", which sounds like you have a partner. Is he/she unable to help with this?

It’s not neglect.

You need toe explore options to avoid it, even if only a couple of nights a week.

Can you ot DP alter your hours?
Can they go to an after school club?
Can they go to a friend?
Is there an after school club elsewhere?
You've said a child minder isn't an option but is that purely cost?

If DC does go straight home then put safety plans in place for that.
How do they feel about it? Ok whilst light but come October and it's dark again.
Can you have a ring door bell so you can see them arrive?
Can they walk with friends or neighbours?
Do you trust them with a key and to be home alone for 2 hours?
Do they have a phone?
Do you need to consider pets?

Only you can decide what is right for your family. It's not just about being home alone it's getting there, going into an empty house, and emergency situations.

Is this every day? Not a once a week thing?

Two hours a day on their own after school, five days a week, seems a lot. That would seem like quite a lot even for an 11/12 year old who's now at secondary school.

So they have somewhere until they turn 11 in September?

At that point they'll be in Year 6.

Provided DC is sensible and happy with the arrangement this should be fine come September.

I should add I think it depends a bit what is typical. Where we live virtually all the Y5 kids walk to/from school & activities alone and it’s pretty normal that they are home alone for some time at least some nights. The school does offer lots of free/cheap clubs though