Man complained about me re yoghurt brand stopped doing a flavour

I'm sure you deal with awful customers everyday but if you can't understand why an 80+ year old is upset because his favourite flavour yoghurt has disappeared from the shelves, you shouldn't be in retail at all.

I think staff training is woefull these days

Ive only been in this role for 8 months and never even got my induction until I had been there a month doing the job and Im still waiting my three month probation interview lol

Now Im lucky, Ive 45 years experience of working in customer facing roles, and more years then enough in hospitality so I didnt need any real training - just needed to be shown the ropes, but the young lasses who are fresh out of school dont have any idea on how to deal with rude or impatient customers and they do get upset and stressed.

But retail/hospitality attracts and actively look to employ youngsters. (Its hard heavy work and long days on the feet and lower paid ) and these youngsters get absolutely no customer facing training at all just shown how to do the job - work the till, clear tables, serve drinks - whatever the job entails thats all they are taught. Never taught how to work with the public

And Ive got to be truthful here, out of the 8 part timers/holiday workers we have, there is not one of them that would have chosen retail or hospitality, they are doing the job only because its there, and the hours suit. Not one of them is looking a career in a CF role

🤣🤣🤣

You'd be suprised... we had packs of underwear thrown at us last week as we didn't have the size he wanted in a particular colour.

What I'm saying is service in this country is pretty poor and better training would help. I travel extensively and you would be surprised at how bad the UK is now at most things. Other countries outshine us in many many things.

What am really picking up on here is that some posters really do believe that some people are OK to be violent/abusive and everyone has to #bekind and some who should expect violence and abuse in their job and go out of their way to be kind to those doing it to them?

My retail nightmare story...at the height of covid I worked in a small village shop. As the only shop in the village we were allowed to stay open but with very strict mask and social distancing rules. We had a lot of problem enforcing masks, but my boss was very strict because in my area they were actively inspecting and issuing fines to businesses at the time.

My boss put a sign on the door that basically read "It's your human right not to wear a mask BUT it's our right not to let you in the shop blah blah blah" very sarcastic thing but the message was clear; wear a mask.

Que a man screaming at me telling me it's outrageous our sign says he doesn't have to wear his mask in the shop as covid is rife and people are dying etc., I tried to explain politely as I could the sign wasn't saying that - it was saying the reverse and then it turned into "are you calling me stupid?!"

A couple of other people witnessed this and gave me sympathetic looks and made remarks after he left but no one actually stepped in to help me.

Anyway I took the bloody sign down.

It depends though. Isn't it about wanting to do the very best you can in your job? There are ways of dealing with people that is sympathetic and conciliatory rather than winding the situation up by being aggressive back.

I've always worked in public facing roles and generally had few problems, but my roles were professional so I think the perception of the public is they can get away with talking down to shop workers because there's this idea they aren't important. It's the perception that's wrong. They kept working during covid when lots of people were sat at home twiddling their thumbs.

What I'm trying to say is it's the public that need educating about how important retail workers are, and the retailers need to put more resources into training and trying to be the best they can.

Also,.maybe he's just a nasty cunt?

We ALL get anxious, frustrated and go through difficult times.

MOST of us manage to not harm other people when doing so.

Having a shit day/life/problems doesn't mean we get to go around harming other people. That's a vicious cycle.

People should be held responsible for causing harm to other people.

I did a brief stint as a "Saturday girl" as they were called back then while I was still at school, and it put me off working in public facing roles for life. I hate it when people give the poor checkout girl grief for something which, clearly to anyone with half a brain, is out of her control, as was clearly the case in OP's instance.

Sick and tired of perpetually having to be told to be mindful of fucking "mental health issues", the cover-all excuse for shit behaviour.

Because it gets wearing and company policy sometimes makes things worse for staff.

I worked in a department store and had someone kick off because they couldn't find a manned till - we weren't allowed to stay on the tills if there were no customers there, customers were supposed to approach the till, we'd see them and go over to serve them.

Well this woman hadn't approached any till, she'd wandered around looking for one with someone serving - not unreasonable in itself. When it came to shouting and throwing clothes at me for something I had no control over, she was very unreasonable.

Then there was the woman who cornered me and shouted at me for ten minutes because I wouldn't let her use the childrens fitting room. Shouting in my face, then complained about my attitude and how she 'wouldn't be spoken to like that by someone like you' - I hadn't been able to say anything, every time I tried she shouted that she didn't want to hear anything I had to say.

I'm sure it was not how OP was, but sometimes when I go into a food supermarket and ask for an item, they usually say something along - it's over there, pointing and not looking at me, very disengaged. I've had to explain that products that used to be there are no longer there and have not been in for ages. Then a person just shrugged but their colleague was next to them and bothered to check, like OP did, on the handheld. Turned out that there had been a supply issue but stock was on its way.

So, I do think in life some people don't have the right service mentality either and if they don't know, they don't bother to find out. As I say, not describing the OP as they did check, but this is something I've encountered time and time again, and increasingly so over the last 5-10 years.

What if the OP had also been having a bad day? Why should he be allowed to throw a strop and not 'be kind'?

Not excusing his behaviour, but we all have a back story…maybe he has a wife with dementia or other illness who will only eat that flavour if yoghurt and that’s all she’ll eat. Or maybe they’re the highlight of his day and now it’s gone? I’ve worked with the public for 40 years, and when people are rude it’s almost always because they’re anxious, frustrated or having a difficult time. Maybe he was just having a rough day and this was the final straw. Not excusing his behaviour, but sometimes a little kindness goes a long way.

To be fair, although not excusing the behaviour, but not sure if you've ever had family or know much about dementia, but it's like part of their brain that controls emotions and how to behave just vanishes. It really is very common for people with dementia to become increasingly aggressive, verbally but, sometimes down the line, also physical.

It may of course be that the man didn't have dementia but for elderly people, sadly Alzheimer's and other dementias are very common.

This, plus I really don't see why he should get a pass just because he is old. If he is strong enough to swing a fist in someone's face, he clearly isn't some poor old darling. Good lord.

The whole 'maybe they have dementia/autism/ADHD/mental illness/trauma/whatever' thing drives me nuts.

It.does.not.matter in terms of whether a victim should consider that, whether it should be used as an excuse or a learning point or as trying to gain understanding.

And I very much think that attitude has contributed to the dramatic rise we've seen in aggression and violence against all public workers.

Some behaviours are just unacceptable and it is not the role of victims to dismiss their unpleasant or traumatic experiences and be told "maybe they are suffering from something" ,be more understanding, be kind.

Maybe they are suffering from something, maybe they're not. And even if they are, it still doesn't make it acceptable or even, that the abusive behaviour is a direct result of that.

And having worked in the public sector for a very long time, I don't think a lot of the public realise just how frequently we, even knowing a person's background or difficulties, DO report things to the Police and have assaults prosecuted and how often that we impose different sanctions if incidents don't meet criminal threshold.

No, it isn't 'part of our jobs' to be assaulted, threatened or abused.

@FionnulaTheCooler

Exactly 💯 agree with your above post totally nailed it on the head 👏🏿 👌

Why is bad behaviour allways or often excused dismissed away as being a manifesting their mental health struggles issues then

I wonder 🤔 if abusive member of public could be manifesting their Arseholes ways of just being etc.

Exactly. I doubt the man was thinking about what was going on in the OP's life when he was trying to physically intimidate her by shaking his fist in her face. All the armchair diagnosers on here saying he must have mental health issues/ have dementia etc could be completely wrong and he could just be a misogynistic arsehole who enjoys talking down to and threatening women. We all know these men exist, there are threads about men's awful behaviour towards women often enough, who knows if this particular man actually has issues caused by old age or has just been a nasty twat his whole life.

@Meridean

Why should public facing staff workers be tolerant of other mental health issues emotionally abusive ways then?

Whenever staff workers are spoken to like shit that accidently stepped on their shoes?

The public these fuckwits regardless of whatever reasons could be behind them inflicting projecting in verbally or physically abusive ways,

That public facing staff workers will not be tolerant pandering to their ways,
as they are not proffessional trained counsellors or have any other training in the field of mental health

Also notices should be put up zero torelance to this kind of attitude and behaviour could even result in. Security escorting them out of the building or and being temporarily banned etc.

Sorry you have to deal with this sort of thing.

Still want to know what yogurt it was...

Not quite the same but, I watched a woman get in her car and just leave her trolley right in front of other cars a few days ago, the trolley bay was meters away from her. So fucking lazy and entitled, 'someone else will do it' attitude.

But the 'treat people kindly seems to be a one way thing'?

"You just don’t know, so treat people kindly and assume the best of them."
Doesn't this apply both ways? Why should the customer be treated kindly, and not be required to treat staff the same way?