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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to unwanted visitors?

84 replies

SammyTheDog · 03/04/2024 10:44

Met this family on holidays abroad a few years back. Invited the three of them to come and stay with us (we don't live in the UK) as their dd got on really well with ours. So they came and stayed with us last summer for about 5 days. Problem is, when they came to stay, they didn't bring as much as a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine. Neither did they spend a single penny for the whole time they were here. We took them out to dinner almost every night; paid for boats trips, trips to museums etc. Neither parent put their hand in their pocket for the entire trip. They're not wealthy people, but we felt it wouldn't have killed them to bring a small gift, or at least pay for one of the meals out!
Now, the mum has been in touch to say they want to come again this summer, this time for a week!! Would it be really mean of me to say no? And what exactly will I say? Help!!

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 03/04/2024 10:55

Do you really want to remain friends with them?

If you dont reply along the lines of
We cant do it again im sorry. It cost us si much money hosting you last time and we felt a little taken advantage of as you didnt even bring a bottle of wine as a thank you

If you do want to remain friends just say

Sorry we cant host but if you book into a hotel it would be good to catch up one night

bellezarara · 03/04/2024 10:52

Bloody hell, are you running a free hotel for randoms? Can I come with my brood this summer?

OP, find your anger at these Cheeky Fuckers and say no!

And then block and delete them.

What does your DH say? I hope he isn't saying to let them come?

BombBiggleton · 03/04/2024 10:52

Well that's on you for paying for them for an entire week.

By the second day you deserved to be taken advantage of if you haven't got the wit to speak up and say that you were not paying for everything for the entire holiday, and that each family would pay for their own stuff.

I have absolutely no sympathy for you.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/04/2024 10:52

‘Sorry, but we’re already completely full up this summer.’

Ditto next year, if they try again!

NotTram · 03/04/2024 10:51

You were generous last summer and they didn't treat you well so please don't entertain having them again. Ever.
Just say no sorry that doesn't work for us. Personally I would end the friendship.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/04/2024 10:50

Agree with a PP, just say you can't afford to host them again and how disappointed you were that they never offered to pay for anything last time. Fuck their free holiday!

ns87 · 03/04/2024 10:50

They are taking you for a ride!

Say no, offer to go to them, they'll soon disappear!

Hecatoncheires · 03/04/2024 10:48

Yeah, I agree with @BrocolliLand . I understand that it's hard to say "no" but that was a crazy situation. Little wonder they want to stay for longer this time!!

BrocolliLand · 03/04/2024 10:46

Of course it wouldn't be mean. But why didn't you say so shall we go out tonight on you, since we paid last night? Or just split the bill? Why did you continue to pay for them. That's crazy.

Just say sorry we don't have the time or money to have you over. Hopefully see you soon.
Or say I think it's our turn to come to yours.

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