AIBU to feel annoyed about ‘free childcare’

To give you some figures for context:

I have DD (3.5yo) and DS (1.5yo). We didn't plan a 2 year age gap but in the view of some of the above I should have aborted a much-wanted second child and got pregnant again 9 months later.

Standard day rate at our nursery in the South East is £96 a day. All nurseries here are charging upwards of £90 for a full day.

DD:
4 days a week, 3 with 7.8 funded hours, 1 full price day. This month her nursery bill (including a 10% discount for sibling) is £1029. After tax free childcare that equates to £863.

DS:
4 full price days a week. This month his nursery bill is £1664. After tax free childcare that equates to £1498.

Total nursery bill for us: £2361.

We are in a large town in the South East. Our jobs only exist in the capital (both in the City). Also, we live near my parents and sister - all of whom are either disabled or working full time as well, but can provide emergency childcare.

Our nursery bill equates to 40% of our take home pay after tax. Mortgage (again, South East, standard 3 bed semi) is a further 25%. Add commuting costs (10%) and we are spending 75% of our income on childcare, housing and commuting. DH and I earn roughly the same amount. Childcare and commuting equate to exactly 50% of one salary now, so he is/I am just working for the pension contributions right now.

I'm degree educated, working in a relevant field, we have a family income of just over 100k and we're only just managing. So I have no idea how anyone else is managing. It feels like this Government would rather see me out of the workplace right now. But whose interest would that be in? I'd love to be at home with the children more but in my field, 7 years out would mean I'd never be able to get back in at the same level (and, drumroll... would never be paying the same tax/NICs I am currently, so would produce less income for the country).

It's all well and good saying have the lifestyle/number of children you can afford, but if it's unaffordable for almost everyone, what's the plan?

To give you some figures for context:

I have DD (3.5yo) and DS (1.5yo). We didn't plan a 2 year age gap but in the view of some of the above I should have aborted a much-wanted second child and got pregnant again 9 months later.

Standard day rate at our nursery in the South East is £96 a day. All nurseries here are charging upwards of £90 for a full day.

DD:
4 days a week, 3 with 7.8 funded hours, 1 full price day. This month her nursery bill (including a 10% discount for sibling) is £1029. After tax free childcare that equates to £863.

DS:
4 full price days a week. This month his nursery bill is £1664. After tax free childcare that equates to £1498.

Total nursery bill for us: £2361.

We are in a large town in the South East. Our jobs only exist in the capital (both in the City). Also, we live near my parents and sister - all of whom are either disabled or working full time as well, but can provide emergency childcare.

Our nursery bill equates to 40% of our take home pay after tax. Mortgage (again, South East, standard 3 bed semi) is a further 25%. Add commuting costs (10%) and we are spending 75% of our income on childcare, housing and commuting. DH and I earn roughly the same amount. Childcare and commuting equate to exactly 50% of one salary now, so he is/I am just working for the pension contributions right now.

I'm degree educated, working in a relevant field, we have a family income of just over 100k and we're only just managing. So I have no idea how anyone else is managing. It feels like this Government would rather see me out of the workplace right now. But whose interest would that be in? I'd love to be at home with the children more but in my field, 7 years out would mean I'd never be able to get back in at the same level (and, drumroll... would never be paying the same tax/NICs I am currently, so would produce less income for the country).

It's all well and good saying have the lifestyle/number of children you can afford, but if it's unaffordable for almost everyone, what's the plan?

To give you some figures for context:

I have DD (3.5yo) and DS (1.5yo). We didn't plan a 2 year age gap but in the view of some of the above I should have aborted a much-wanted second child and got pregnant again 9 months later.

Standard day rate at our nursery in the South East is £96 a day. All nurseries here are charging upwards of £90 for a full day.

DD:
4 days a week, 3 with 7.8 funded hours, 1 full price day. This month her nursery bill (including a 10% discount for sibling) is £1029. After tax free childcare that equates to £863.

DS:
4 full price days a week. This month his nursery bill is £1664. After tax free childcare that equates to £1498.

Total nursery bill for us: £2361.

We are in a large town in the South East. Our jobs only exist in the capital (both in the City). Also, we live near my parents and sister - all of whom are either disabled or working full time as well, but can provide emergency childcare.

Our nursery bill equates to 40% of our take home pay after tax. Mortgage (again, South East, standard 3 bed semi) is a further 25%. Add commuting costs (10%) and we are spending 75% of our income on childcare, housing and commuting. DH and I earn roughly the same amount. Childcare and commuting equate to exactly 50% of one salary now, so he is/I am just working for the pension contributions right now.

I'm degree educated, working in a relevant field, we have a family income of just over 100k and we're only just managing. So I have no idea how anyone else is managing. It feels like this Government would rather see me out of the workplace right now. But whose interest would that be in? I'd love to be at home with the children more but in my field, 7 years out would mean I'd never be able to get back in at the same level (and, drumroll... would never be paying the same tax/NICs I am currently, so would produce less income for the country).

It's all well and good saying have the lifestyle/number of children you can afford, but if it's unaffordable for almost everyone, what's the plan?

Who should be responsible child care costs?

Thing is though it is free at many nurseries and very normal where I live regardless of income. My dc both went to funded nurseries, first in a church hall and then at the primary school they now attend. I had to pay £3 per day top up at the school to extend it to the full 6.5 hour school day. Nothing at the church hall.

i think the main issue is that people with pre-schoolers tend to stick to normal working days and hence need wraparound care 8-6 whereas in my town it’s the norm for people with school age children to work flexibly to do pick ups/drop offs and use grandparents - very few use after school clubs.

its pointless saying it’s unaffordable and nurseries can’t exist - because many can and do. You can choose the free one or pay extra for hours/facilities that suit you? Apologies if this sort of thing doesn’t exist in all locations but very normal as far as I can tell!

Pisses me off that the government has just decided to offer these so called free hours but not actually pay for them.

It's like them announcing that everyone's entitled to fifty quid a month free shopping but only paying shops a tenner and makings shops suck up the shortfall or increase prices elsewhere and get the criticism. meanwhile everyone's going oh this government is doing such a wonderful thing...

If they are going to say they're funding childcare then they (well, we, taxpayers) need to actually fund it. Not announce it then leave businesses taking the financial hit.

So you are in the top 2% of earners and complaining?

I do work hard and I don't apologise for earning well, I'm just trying explaining the situation for those of us who earn over 100k in that the universal 15 hours for everyone from age 3 is not actually that in reality

It’s frustrating in the same way that many of the older generation don’t understand how hard it is to buy a house these days. ‘The government have made childcare free - what are you complaining about?’. But they haven’t. They really haven’t.

they’ll use ‘free’ childcare boost their chances in the election, and you are glad of a bit of a reduction in bills, but it is certainly not free.

Or, people could just have the number of children that they can afford without relying on everyone else to pay for them.

So you are in the top 2% of earners and complaining?