Why do people not like using holiday clubs?

Your calculations excluded the value people get from spending time with their children.

I should add, I do agree that your MIL's offering doesn't sound great.

This isn’t that though. OP hasn’t come on asking whether she should go for clubs or grandparents, weighing up the pros and cons of each.

She’s come on saying that she doesn’t believe that children should ‘do nothing’ in the holidays and furthermore, that single mums should budget and make better career choices to ensure that their own children can also go to clubs and not ‘do nothing’.

come on.

I think a mix of both is best and obviously it depends on the child. My DD hates to stay in the house all day and loves holiday clubs (meeting and playing with new children, trying different activities etc). She will do a mix of both in summer holidays and the days I’m off she will want to be doing something out the house.

If your DC are happy going to ex MILs I’d let them go once a week. I wouldn’t be happy with them going anymore than that if she didn’t even take them for a walk / to the park / bike ride etc.

Also I went to holiday clubs as a child and loved them, I looked forward to them every year.

having to mix with people you don’t know and have all that fresh anxiety for people you’re never going to see again. As a massive introvert I needed time away from school.

Ha, that was me as a child! All those people saying kids make new friends in holiday clubs forget that not all kids enjoy that kind of setup.

Totally agree with this. I think people have absurdly rose tinted ideas about what the much vaunted “downtime” involves.

People are always banging on about the importance of kids “being bored” and talk as if it’s an Elysian time of riding on bikes, drawing and home baking. It’s not like this any more. Like it or not (and I don’t but there’s not much I can do about it), “downtime” for most kids these days means hours on YouTube. Unless the parents are around all the time to police this or there’s a hardline no screens policy in place (which is unworkable after a certain age), it’s an inevitability that this is the default choice.

A couple of days of this won’t do any long term harm but the idea that this is preferable to an organised club simply because there’s no structure is madness.

I work full time most of the time and don’t have the luxury of grandparent care and there’s no way I would have preferred to leave my kid languishing in front of the TV all day when she could be doing drama or sport or learning something. Parents who have the luxury of free childcare should crack on and enjoy it but they should recognise how lucky they are. Pretending there’s some Narnia in which kids self police and limit themselves to raiding the dressing up box is fantasy.

If your children are happy with the set up and so are you, why give it head space?

I get it's a confusing attitude. But one likely just born out of different priorities and circumstances. If you're unhappy with unlimited screen time and junk food, then this is your best option available for your circumstances.

I think a good camp is like gold dust and other than in cases where little ones are unwell or it’s a lazy day after maybe a period of being extremely busy, children being left to fester - not shower - not fed properly - no structure - no routine - screens all day is not good for them. Sounds like my childhood, so I may have a biased view but it’s horrible for kids to have zero structure to their day. Proper meals is a bare minimum surely. I’m not surprised you don’t agree with your MIL. I would be annoyed if I left my 3 somewhere and they were cared for (or not cared for) in this way.

I think the issue is probably more that holiday clubs aren't very work friendly. There's only one near us (20 min drive away) and it runs 10-2. By the time I'm back at my desk I can only get a few hours in and then would need to leave to collect them. I assumed the holiday clubs are used by parents who DON'T work to give their kids something to do.

I also looked recently at holiday clubs in my nearest city (researching for a friend) and the hours are the same. They're useless for anyone who works full time.

Clearly you are missing the whole point of this thread. The people posting here use holiday clubs because they are working. They don't have time to take the kids swimming, meet up with friends and anything else that needs adult supervision

I'd like to know where the £20 a day holiday clubs are! Round here the cheapest is nearly double that. Like the PP mine do a few days in clubs/with friends/relatives and we take some leave. The kids enjoy the clubs but for 3 kids at around £35-40 a day each it's not a cheap option and has to be balanced.

Our council runs them for £15 a day from 9-3 at the local leisure centre, mostly supervised by teens and young adults. You sign up and pay in advanced, first come first serve. I’m in Oxfordshire.

I’m glad for holiday clubs, especially for SEN DS1 who hates being out of routine and because of it wants to go out of the house several times a day and throws a tantrum when it doesn’t happen and when out likes to remain on the go and doesn’t like stopping for more than 5 minutes. While he is at holiday club, I take DS2 and DD1 somewhere. Off to an interactive museum today and train to London next week.

I do make sure DS2 does some optional school work during this time (phonics, reading, numbots, spelling) which is only 30-45 minutes of his entire day whenever time he likes and the rest is whatever he would like to do within reason.

We love them. And I think they are great value, especially after nursery fees as we only need them a few times a year.

MIL needs to butt out. You also need to ask her why she isnt having this conversation with her SON. Or is childcare a womans job?

A mixture is nicest. Playing at home is great, but not all day every day for 6 weeks solid. DS is very social; you can stick him in front of the TV for maybe 2 hours at most before he'll switch it off and want to play. He's 6 and has no siblings, so 30 minutes playing alone is about his limit; mostly he wants us to play imaginative games, lego or ball games with him. We have lots of days out as a family doing activities, a few grandparent days out or in, lots of club days or half days (usually on days friends are going, no more than 2 each week), play dates out, play dates at home, and then yes - some quieter days playing at home with maybe just a big walk in the woods. Most weeks have a mix of big busy days and more relaxed ones.

We luckily have a lot of great holiday club provision priced from £32-60/ day; 10-1 sport camp, 8-6/ 10-4 camps with a mix of activities but can do just am or pm, an 8/10-6 forest school with soft play, a watersports club. The only one he was less keen on was his school, who deliberately have a structured similar theme every day because they cater for ND children and include school meals; fine for the first day, but he had 3 days and was bored wanting the "better" camps. He has two he likes at the moment and 2 older kids camps we didn't try yet (deliberately, so they'll be fresh when he's bored of one of the others). It's a great way for them to hang out, he comes home filthy and exhausted.

Admittedly DS's grandparents are more interactive; I asked DS if he would take toys yesterday and he said "No thanks, Nana has loads of things and we're cooking". On balance though, I'd think it's nice that MIL wants them, and they will have time bonding in their own way, so unless the kids object furiously I'd send them to her for a few days sprinkled through holidays with a packed lunch, some games and books. Say just on Wednesdays if you would otherwise use camp all week. Camp on the days before will wear them out, and ask the kids to put tablets away for some of their day to use the other toys.

I’m one of those women who’s ‘limiting my career’ 🙄 by choosing to work term time only. I actually like spending the holidays with my children.

My daughter is 7 and asks to go to holiday club, she chose that this week over going to her grandparents, she loves them and they do do stuff with her, but she has so much fun at holiday club.
She does pretty much all the activities but it isn't forced, kids can go off and do their own thing if they want, sometimes she will just go lay down in the corner for a chill so i'm not worried about her not getting a break, and we always make sure the Sunday before back to school is a chill at home day.

Yes, but not be on an ipad all day.

I honestly think it depends on the kid but I also do think having some non-structured time for kids is beneficial for all kids.

I'm a massive introvert and need a fair bit of time away from others. I would have hated holiday clubs myself and my kids are similar so I only used them when absolutely necessary. Another mum I knew used them extensively but she had an only child who was very outgoing and loved being around other kids all the time so it was the right decision for her.

You literally have the option of your MIL.

Yes they can be expensive but not so much that choosing a 18k a year job over a 30k one makes financial sense.

Depends how many kids you have

I agree with you re doing two weeks of nothing! I can’t take the whole school holidays off and neither can my children’s father. We do a mix of leave, school holiday club and one or two days with my mum. My mum loves my children dearly but she is not very physically able and mainly lets them sit in front of the tv all day, as she would struggle doing something physical with them each day, which is much worse for their behaviour than going to holiday club.

Thanks but I’m trying to encourage self-amusement so setting up an activity defeats that purpose. He has shelves full of books and Lego and games and construction stuff but they are carefully managed so that there is not too much choice. We talk often about what the options are but at almost eight I am not picking something for him and setting it up. He hates crafts, which is no problem to me, he is clear about his likes and dislikes by now.

Ah the “Just budget for it” school of thought. Really helpful for single parents on NMW who would be worse off having a term time job because they have 3 kids, no family help and holiday clubs cost them £90 a day. Just budget for it 🙄

I have to say I find when people criticise others for working less than them it’s borne from envy and rather than insisting no one ever had a term time job, just get one yourself

I'm not judging you at all, you absolutely know what is best for your DC.

When mine were at school they would have hated to go to holiday club every day. They really looked forward to relaxing in the school hols.

I wouldn't have said I 'didn't like' using them, I just felt them unnecessary as a SAHM. MY DC don't want to go and I liked having them at home.

Peter Ashley activity centre in Portsmouth. £20 for 9-5. Archery, orienteering, crafting, laser tag etc etc. it is super. It is a charity. I told them I thought they were undercharging but they said they want it to be accessible for all. Fills up very quickly!

If by doing nothing” you mean “not learning” then I take it you spend annual leave doing courses or working on the side? After all it’s not good to do nothing right?

PS it’s very good to do nothing. Children are not workers bees, then need time to relax and just be kids, and schools these days push them in a way we wouldn’t have been pushed.

Same!! Where are these cheap clubs?

my DS did go to one last week that was a donation only run by the church (I bunged them a fiver) but it was a 2 hour craft session, I sent him to give him a bit of variety but certainly couldn’t use it as childcare to work, I still had the day off.