Why do people not like using holiday clubs?

It’s so nice to read a post acknowledging that children all have different personalities and preferences without any implication that one type is “better” than the other or that if someone’s children aren’t exactly like yours then they must have gone wrong with them. Thank you!

What do ur kids think? Do they like holiday club? Do they want to go to grams? Mabye let then visit gram for a day but holiday club for the rest? If they like it run w it

Yes I am a single parent and had help from universal credit. Still do, probably will until DC are 18. I wasnt bashing anyone that cant stay home or work term time. Just pointing out why some would because the OP seemed perplexed by it.
@Thepeopleversuswork I genuinely wasn’t having a dig. But the OP literally said why would anyone take a lower paid job to work term time, and that is why. The option is open to pretty much all single parents as the support from universal credit is there. Not saying that it’s the right thing to do, but I wasn’t ‘lucky’ to be able to do it.

Im now having to work my way up career wise to be able to survive in the future as a single person when I no longer receive support.

So what do you do with your annual leave? I’m nhs too and take all my leave in the school holidays, I’m also a single parent and get help from UC financially. Grandparents do childcare for the days I work.
Luckily I only work 3 days but this means I only get 13 days annual leave, plus I’ll buy a week. Meaning I’ll have 16 days. Working 3 days a week this is just over 5 weeks.
I take 2 full weeks in the summer plus another 2 random days. A week At Easter, I try and get at least the full week over Xmas, sometimes 2 weeks depending on how the bank holidays fall. I utilise the bank holidays so I then only have to use 2 days leave to get the full weeK off. I can usually manage to get the May or October half term off too.

Well yes and no - we did put some effort into choosing an area with good provision. There must be a dozen or more holiday clubs within a mile or two of our house.

(I realise not everyone has the ability or desire to choose to live in a family friendly area of London - but just to say we are fortunate to have had that choice and put some effort into thinking about it)

Agree - we have one holiday club near us and it’s not open every day of the holidays.

Time to be bored is the single most important thing you can give to your children. Creativity comes from boredom it doesn't come from bring directed in structured activities all the time

Yep. Unlike Mumsnet children, mine aren't exhausted by school either.

I don't think I had properly realised until this thread that some young children enjoy "chilling" all day (I assumed this was code for screen time) but apparently my children are just defective. Perhaps I should send them back for a refund!

I think also there's an underlying assumption that the children don't have a choice - mine get plenty of choices. They choose which holiday club they like, within the holiday club there is often a choice of activities, on a day home with one of us we will discuss what we do the next day. I don't just book them into stuff without any discussion

I think if you're in a position to choose from multiple clubs and activities within them, then you're very lucky.

Don't you use some of your annual leave to cover the school holidays?

@Heronwatcher I understand what you're saying but I disagree - I think children just have different personalities like adults do. Mine do not enjoy or benefit from whole unstructured days like that - and I understand that because neither do I!

It's not that they can't do it at all but without something to look forward to, even if it's a fairly low key outing, they don't have a good day. I don't either - I never don't have a plan for a day.

I think also there's an underlying assumption that the children don't have a choice - mine get plenty of choices. They choose which holiday club they like, within the holiday club there is often a choice of activities, on a day home with one of us we will discuss what we do the next day. I don't just book them into stuff without any discussion

Same! Individually either of them would be ok with a day like that. But together there would be a LOT of fighting. They're both very active and need to burn their energy or they are very hard work.

It's very dependent on the personality of the child isn't it? As an introverted, anxious child I was happy in the holidays reading, drawing, chatting to my mum or playing make believe games in the house or garden with my sibling. I went to a holiday club a couple of times but would have hated any club that involved sports or loud team games. We were lucky to have involved grandparents who would look after us sometimes and do things like walks, trips to the park or places of interest, baking, jobs in the garden etc.

My two on the other hand are ultra-active extroverts. They want to be with other children or to be 'busy'. Again we are very lucky to have enthusiastic, active grandparents albeit ones who don't live nearby. But I could never send mine to a grandparent for regular holiday care if they just sat them in front of the TV with sweets.

@spriots but I am not talking about occasions when I am ill or trying to work- I agree in those types of situations expecting kids to amuse themselves is probably not a good idea- and a club might be better. What I am talking about is an unstructured day with an active engaged parent around to chat, interact with activities when asked “mum look at this” and do some activities alongside the kids- like the walk, cooking, watching the movie etc, and breaking up fights when necessary. But the whole point is that I am not organising them or taking them to soft plays and various other activities- they have to decide what to do themselves and then get on with it with minimal intervention from me.

A lot of kids don’t like this sometimes- mine included- but they have got a lot better at it as we’ve done it more and now they can amuse themselves (with a bit of obligatory moaning of course). But I think that’s part of the answer to the OP’s question really- that kids have got out of practice to make their own fun and holiday clubs are part of the issue that some people perceive. Of course you do what you have to do, and holiday clubs are fine (especially if balanced but) I think people are trying to answer why some people wouldn’t use holiday clubs out of choice if they can manage without them.

Well, as with everything, I suppose it depends on the child, their personality and their interests.

I personally don't see the issue with kids spending the odd day on screens but I appreciate it's not everyone and many people on MN would think that was absolutely appalling parenting.

Overall, I think a mixture of activities is best if at all possible. I don't think it does anyone any good to have all their time planned out for them, but equally spending days at home with nothing to look forward to isn't great either.

I think I struggled because I spent all my holidays doing nice "structured" activities and from the outside it probably looked great - but I absolutely hated it and even began to dread the holidays because of it. I think if I'd had more of a mixture, I wouldn't have minded the clubs so much.

@CharlotteBog

I agree, it's not odd at all. There are plenty of people who value spending time with their children but are unable to for financial reasons. I presume you either had support from someone or from the welfare system.

This. I really dislike this recurring trope that people who use childcare or summer clubs "don't value time with their children". It's so misogynistic and simplistic.

Of course people love spending time with their children. It sounds delightful to take a chilled lower paid job so you can be there for every milestone and do all the summer childcare etc of course it does but in practice that is only possible if a) you have a breadwinning spouse or partner b) you are very independently wealthy or retired or c) you are on benefits. Clearly a large number of women don't fall into this category. It seems astonishing to have to be explaining this.

I accept that lots of people clutch their pearls at the prospect of using the dreaded "structured childcare" and obviously if you can afford not to have to do it lucky you, I envy you. But a bit of empathy, recognition of the lack of choice other people have and the ability to read a room wouldn't go amiss.

@Heronwatcher my children would be so grouchy if I tried that sort of day. I have attempted it occasionally when I have been unwell or had a work emergency and it's not gone well at all.

My kids can do a half day of pottering around the house but they are so much happier and calmer if they also get out for something even if it's just a playdate in the park with a football.

I guess they take after me as that sort of day doesn't appeal to me in the slightest

I worked term time minimum wage whilst mine were in primary because I valued spending the time with them in the holidays. It’s really not that odd.

I agree, it's not odd at all. There are plenty of people who value spending time with their children but are unable to for financial reasons. I presume you either had support from someone or from the welfare system.

Sorry I didn't mean to be offensive, it's a fairly common turn of phrase but anyway.

Not so workable to remove all screens when you WFH for nine plus hours a day.
Yeah you can limit the screens a bit but not workable to completely remove them unless you want a pissed off child hammering on the door most of the day.

My broader point is that it's really easy to talk about the benefits of lovely "unstructured downtime" when you have either supportive family or don't have to work most of the time to keep the lights on. The reality isn't quite so much fun.

And OP is a nurse who is clearly contributing to society and teaching her kids that women can work hard and have a career too. Why would anyone judge her or make her feel like she's doing a bad job by using a holiday club!

I don’t work. My DDs all have each other and we still use holiday clubs! Not all the time but we do book girls into specific ‘camps’ which are generally an extension of their usual extra curriculars. So things like tennis camp, stage school camp etc.
We also go away on holiday, do days out, days at home and have days with friends. DD1 & 2 were devastated to be missing their musical theatre Easter school this year as we are abroad!

I worked term time minimum wage whilst mine were in primary because I valued spending the time with them in the holidays. It’s really not that odd.

Your phrasing is pretty offensive - why can't you just say something doesn't appeal to you without referring to self harm?

Anyway, children can only spend time on screens if you...give them access to screens. It's quite easy to take away the iPads or the SKY box or whatever.

@Youdirtylittlehamster Where is your kids’ dad (your ex-MIL’s son) in all this?