Why do people not like using holiday clubs?

It depends on the child and your situation. Personally I’d love to work term time but it’s not an option in my job and I’m lucky that my kids love to do some weeks of holiday clubs and then go to a childminder and then I work from home more so they get to chill out playing with their friends at home. So we get a good combination and we go away for a weekend a lot.

in your situation I wouldn’t leave them with someone who didn’t get them dressed or give them food or take them off their screens. My kids are really active and would be a nightmare to deal with after a few days like that.

DD is an only and loves clubs, but she also has those lazy days with grandparents. And I take all my leave in holidays. So it is a hood mix. We have also 3 holiday hlubs she enjoys, 1 is a defo favorite so no.issues going in, also meets the same friends from previous years too

I’m beginning to see your MIL’s point!

In the holidays kids like everyone else need time to properly relax. Having some time with nothing planned is very good indeed for kids- they learn how to make their own entertainment, get into reading, help with some boring jobs and just chill. Of course good holiday clubs have a place but in my time off from work there is no way I would choose enforced fun with a load of strangers for more than a couple of days, so I wouldn’t expect my kids to.

When I was off school and spent time with my grandparents they very rarely “did” stuff with me, I just fitted in with their life, and I loved it- I got chance to chill out, lie in, did some gardening, went to the shops, walked the dog, did some DIY (I learned how to wire a plug and decorate), drew, read etc. And yes I did watch plenty of TV! Plus I got to know my grandparents super well.

I agree that they shouldn’t be on their tablets all day and of course need some proper food but there’s a happy medium here. If she raised your DH she can’t be that incompetent surely?

I work full-time, and use holiday clubs a bit during each school holiday.

My DC absolutely loves them as they are a stereotypical child of the gender, as well as being outgoing and able to make friends easily. Gets upset if I say they're not going (if I've got other plans for them).

My other DC has additional needs, and there are no holiday clubs available to them as they'd need a one-to-one. I ended up having to get a full-time permanent Nanny, as I only get 25 days annual leave per year.

Some kids just don’t like them. I have a few colleagues who use them but come in stressed after dropping them off because the kids just don’t want to go.

Mine went occasionally but are ND and really didn’t enjoy them, they struggled to connect with kids they’d only just met.

I used to love spending time with them as they were growing up, I never understood the complaints and ‘when are they going back to school?’ because we would start each holiday making a to do list together and ticking things off. I hated them going back and the mundanity of work / school routine again.

You do you. It doesn’t suit everyone.

It’s nice for you that you can do some of your work at home but surely you must understand not everyone can? My work is on site permanently based like many others. Strange assumption that everyone can hybrid work. I do budget for it because I’m a single parent and have no choice, their dad let himself off the hook when he left.

two weeks of doing nothing is fine!

Some people want to spend more time with their children and they want their children to relax at home or just do their own stuff at home. Some people might not be sure about their children being looked after by those they don't know, in a mix if children they don't know. Some places don't gave much availability in places that work practically. Some children don't enjoy holiday clubs.

It’s certainly not bad for you.

holiday clubs are difficult once they are 12
they are expensive

I'm with you. I don't use holiday clubs any more (for one thing, round here they're more like £50 or £60 and it adds up!) but in your situation I would.

Although there is no way either my DM or DMIL would permit a whole day on tablets, not give DC lunch and certainly everyone would be dressed. Although sounds like she's coming to you? My DM/DMIL would be much less confident doing stuff out of their own environment.

Have confidence in your parenting choices. I assume they have a dad? What does he think re now and re his past summer holidays?

Again, you have options. A women working 5 days a week with a standard amount of annual leave needs 5 days a week childcare, which is expensive. Single parents who don’t have someone to split annual leave with struggle.

sounds like you have hurt her feelings.
they need to relax and chill on holiday surely,
be bored

Well here’s the answer for most, yours is £20 a day. It’s £42 per child per day here and my kids find it boring because it’s all aimed at the 4-5 year olds. We have several sports ones around that only charge £25-30 but they also only operate 9-3 which is useless when I work 8-4. Even the expensive one doesn’t operate Fridays. So while I work full time I also struggle to pay for holiday club, my kids moan about going and I still can’t take a job with different/longer hours.

I have had the same thought - similarly with wraparound. You do see a lot of women looking for term time only school hours jobs, and I always think it must be very limiting.

We both get six weeks annual leave, some of which we take separately, so our kids get plenty of unstructured time at home - of the 13 week school holidays, they usually do 4 in holiday club and those are 3 day weeks because we both work 4 days a week. I wouldn't consider those 12 days a year to be such a horrifying prospect that I would limit my career to term time only to avoid it

Plus they actually enjoy holiday clubs anyway!

My ASD daughter hates them, "they made me dance, mummy" with a look like they'd made her do something unspeakable. And my 6yo struggles being one of the youngest and is quite sensitive. Often these clubs are a lot of clueless teens who try their best but don't see the under the radar sniping.

I like them in principle and have tried quite a few. It's tricky not sending my eldest then trying to get my youngest to go (DD1 is fine to be home while I'm working but not dd2 and certainly not both together).

I wonder if OP does an online course every time she has some holiday - can't waste any learning time relaxing now

They aren’t learning anything? It’s the holidays! I’m a teacher (so I get I’m not your target for this post about using holiday clubs!) so off work for the holidays with my 10 year old and 3 year old, yes we like to get out and about, meet up with friends, go swimming, do a few crafts etc but we also drag the mattresses off the beds into the living room, watch back to back movies, play on their tablets, stay in PJs and eat Easter eggs. They don’t need to have structured days and be learning every day in the holidays, they need some downtime too.

I use the one that is held at my dc school. It’s either multi sports or football. It’s £20 a day or early bird price about £14 if you book early. My son actually asks to go as he loves it so much. The guys that run it are their pe teachers as well so very familiar. My daughter on the other hand isn’t so keen so we only send her when we really need to during the summer holidays.

I think people like the idea of children having some downtime instead of having their lives tightly managed. Mine are now at the age where if I give them downtime at home they will spend every waking minute on YouTube, and constant complaining when it’s rationed. They seem to go to holiday club with no problems, so it’s a win for me.

I'd like to know where the £20 a day holiday clubs are! Round here the cheapest is nearly double that. Like the PP mine do a few days in clubs/with friends/relatives and we take some leave. The kids enjoy the clubs but for 3 kids at around £35-40 a day each it's not a cheap option and has to be balanced.

We usually use one for a couple of days each half term/holiday unless we are booking leave. It's usually a couple of days holiday club, a day with each grandparent and then me and DH will cover the 5th day between us either either leave or Flexi.

DD is an only so I think it's such a good opportunity for her to mix with other children and she really enjoys going. I do think a mixture of holiday club and family care is best though, she would definitely not want to be there for the full week.