To think it was a bit shit of my direct report to say this?

She may well have a warped view of a 1-2-1 meeting so let it go.
Some Managers use this as an opportunity to haul people over the coals. She may not ever have had a supportive manager in her life. I still have PTSD from some of my 1-2-1s.

Well, one of the first things out of their mouth was, "its far too early to be doing this" (they meant a one to one/catch up).

This means one of two things:

1. I am a lazy bastard and don't like you checking up on me and realising I am not doing the work I should be doing.
2. I have a problem with authority and don't like people telling me what to do.

Either way, good luck. I'd assume they'll be a pain to manage going forwards with that attitude tbh

Their reply was pretty odd. You are their boss, and they should be having regular catch-ups with you. If anything, it's more important at the start of a new role than it is once someone's settled.

Even if they do feel no need for a one-to-one, it was bloody rude of them to say it like that. A reply like "I'm settling in pretty well and I honestly don't think I've got anything I need to ask you, so hopefully it won't take too much up your time, but I'm sure a chat would be great " would be a lot more appropriate.

No you are not being sensitive. They are over stepping. It’s a mark against them if they back chat you and that’s back chat

This is what I thought, too. I'd bet that it was a reference to an early meeting; rather than it being sooner in employment than expected.

I would never criticise the timing of a meeting, but I'm a chronic people pleaser who often has poorly timed meetings. I've found a lot of the younger people I manage are a lot more upfront about what time works better for them due to their personalities/lifestyle/etc. It's a lot more normal in younger generations, rightly or wrongly.

But even that aside - I'd bet he just wasn't a fan of a deep early meeting.

Not sure what time that meeting was for, but if I were you I'd be having the next one even earlier

He needs to understand that he needs to meet the needs of the business, not his personal schedule

Omfg you need to take back control now

Too early??!

Stop the planned meetings and just random call him on Teams and say 'what's going on? What are you working on at the moment?'

No warning, nothing in the calendar

Well yes it was a bit rude, you were doing a positive thing.

But maybe in their past role such meetings were supervisions and they misunderstood the reason for the meeting, maybe they thought they were just in the job and were getting to grips with it.

That said it was totally the wrong way to express it!

Don't let it knock your confidence and take it personally, it appears you've both been at cross purposes, but if it cropped up again and you felt disrespected I would nip it in the bud

Were they just talking about future plans and development? Because I had to say similar to one manager when I was in brand new role which was just started so we were developing it a bit as we went and they wanted to talk future, progression and l&d 4 weeks in, when we haven't even set properly role's actual JD and processes really. Month later, I had some ideas.

You said both times are new. Did the employee go for your role?

They were rude. It was an opportunity for them to share concerns, ask for opportunities etc

You've literally done nothing wrong.

I am a line manager and when I have a new team member I have 1:1s with them on a weekly basis for the first few weeks, then every other week during their probation period. It's completely normal.

They're being a tit. I work in HR and all decent managers do regular 1:1s with their direct reports.

Are you sure it wasn’t early in the morning? 🤣

Is that a done thing now? I must be old, but I can't imagine commenting on my manager's meeting invites in this manner.

You are being too sensitive.
You're not wrong for calling an informal, catch up meeting 4 weeks in.
If there were any issues or teething problems, it would have been stupid to wait for months when it could have been sorted 4 weeks in. Most jobs I've been in have a first review at 6 weeks in but still, calling it FAR TOO early at 4 is them being dramatic.

It's really good practice to be checking in and talking about how they're finding their new role and offering an opportunity to seek support or discuss any issues. So I'm wondering if you had different ideas and expectations of the meeting and their rather defensive comment was indicative of crossed wires.

Yes you do. Plus you need to learn that as management YOU say when it's the right time for doing anything.

Had one of mine said that to me she would have been slapped down (verbally, of course).

In all the jobs I’ve ever done, I just can’t imagine being called into a catch up meeting with my boss and me questioning it in any way, shape or form. I think I must be a bit out of touch.

I guess op would cover all that in the 1-2-1?

Also, nothing wrong at all even if op was doing an informal report on their progress.

Bottom line is op discussed having a very valid meeting and the employee responded rather strangely to their manager. Op has done nothing wrong here.

I'd be wary at this stage-you don't want to set a precedent of them thinking they can dictate your interactions. You're the manager, not them.

In that case, it could come across that you were actually doing some sort of informal report on their progress. I also think that saying you wanted to catch up because you'd be busy in the next few months wasn’t great - what would they do if they needed some support from you if you've told them now you're going to be too busy?

I don't think you were doing anything wrong at all. I think the staff member was wrong and shouldn't have been questioning the timing. And I say that as a trade union official- I'm normally all for people 'sticking up for themselves' but it's an odd response of theirs when their manager asks for a catch-up meeting one month in.