To think it was a bit shit of my direct report to say this?

YANBU and my guess is that your direct report is a bloke and is trying to undermine your authority by effectively telling you how to do your job with this dicky comment. I think you'll need to be quite clear and direct with him from the start as people like this can be hard work unless very clear of the boundaries... Hold your nerve OP!

I think they were trying to show that they don't respect you or your position as their line manager. Could be as simple as a man not liking to take direction from a woman. Don't back off and try to be 'nicer' as they will feel their comment achieved the goal of establishing dominance over you.

I wish you were my manager. I started a new job remotely in December and apart from an introduction I have not had any catch ups with my line manager at all.

The mistake you are making is assuming the fact a person you manage says something that could be perceived as critical = you are not doing OK.

Perhaps they are wrong?

I think you do need to grow a bit of a thicker skin.

Have more confidence in yourself,op!
What you're doing is good management. 4 weeks is a good time to see how they're settling in, what more support they feel they need etc.
Their response sounds arsey. If it's too early for some things, then the meeting is the place to talk about it.

I don't think its too early to be objective setting. At the early stages, the objectives might be things like taking training, shadowing colleagues, reading policies and manuals etcetera but these things still should be set as objectives with a completion date. I also think that its a good idea with a new employee or team member to start as you mean to go on in terms of working framework.

This....also its not up to managers to be "nice" its up to managers to do what is best for their area of responsibility and what they are supposed to be doing. Sometimes (hopefully most if the time) you can do it and be nice but nice is secondary to getting your job done.

No, I think that's inappropriate of them too, or at least doesn't say anything negative about you!

I have worked in places where a request for a 1:1 basically meant you were in trouble and being put on capability and they didn't happen at all otherwise.

As a result I do find them quite stressful.

I'm aware that other workplaces do use them to actually support people.

I think this is a mismatch of what you both think the purpose of the 1 to 1 is. I actually refer to mine as "1 to 1 catch ups" rather than just "1 to 1" because it shifts the tone away from appearing to be performance management.

I'd agree that it is too early to be doing performance management, or proper goal setting. Maybe this is what they thought the meeting was, and didn't feel that they had enough time in the role to be able to contribute properly to goal setting.

You had some really odd responses early in the thread. I wouldn't be at all impressed with this from a new member of staff and would be watching them more closely.

I would 100% get some management training. Not because you did anything wrong but because line management is a skill like anything else, and there's a red flag that your first report might be a difficult one.

I think it was a pretty rude thing to say. Like they are trying to lord it over you.

Wow. I must be a micro-manager. I have a minimum of a weekly catch up from day one with new starters! depending on the context, there may even be a daily touching of base. They have always found it helpful in settling in and learning the ropes. We usually move to less frequency when they feel confident that they are settled and happy in their role, and it's a mutually agreed thing.

Yeah. Perhaps you need to clarify what a 1-1 is.

One thing my team prefers is when I say let’s have a catch up, they want me to specify topics. This comes from historically bad management and the worry they’re “in trouble”. They aren’t because they are fab.

Id be unimpressed with the individual’s response. Being new I’d expect weekly check ins as a minimum.

Where I work you get a monthly 121 starting in the first month. Tell her to get used to it 😁

Both are true....

I have had monthly 1-2-1 since month one as company policy. Sometimes there is nothing to discuss and they are over in 5 minutes. Other times they take the full half hour or overrun.
They aren't just for how I am getting on but also an opportunity for my line manager to bring more company structural things to my attention.
Warning bells would be going off for me that they see themselves more of a lone worker and your just there as a formality.

Oh dear, sounds like your report won’t be getting through their probationary period

They are the problem, not you.

I'd take it as a sign that this person either has trouble with interpersonal communication or is potentially going to be a problem. It was an unnecessarily argumentative thing to say to you, his new boss. You weren't in the wrong, and if he had concerns, he could have voiced them in a less stringent tone.

I would be prepared in future dealings with him that he may try to wrong-foot you again. I'd try to stay cool and professional; project confidence, even if you don't always feel it.

They are being very weird. When I started my latest role my line manager organised weekly one to ones for the first two months as I was settling into the role. The sessions were very helpful as I knew I had that dedicated time with them to ask questions and learn more. Much better than past roles where I have had half a day induction then been on my own!

All staff where I work routinely have monthly one to ones with line managers. It's good practice so you should give yourself a pat on the back for being a supportive manager.

Don't say that😂.

Take charge here. You're the manager. I'd be setting his expectations again as it appear he has a difference of opinion on how things are going to go over this probation period. Don't let him push you without showing you aren't there to be pushed or I guarantee it will escalate. No need for anything formal, scary or
OTT, just reminding him of any timetables and expectations you have of him. Preferably in writing.

And no, 11am is definitely not too early!

Agree with this. Sounds as if he may have got defensive.

It's concerning you may not have time for him over the next few weeks, does he know? if he feels this it might make him feel insecure.

1-1s should always happen regardless.

If he says the same thing next time just say unfortunately this isn't your decision to make.