To think it was a bit shit of my direct report to say this?

What a bizarre response! What is the probation period? Presumably more than 1 month. Even if it was 6 months, I'd be wanting a monthly catch up with a new starter but would probably be having weekly catch ups in the first month having had daily ones in the first week. I want them to make sure that they have support whilst also being able to check that they are taking the right approach.

How has it got to a point where a manager arranging any sort of check in with a new starter and that new starter replying with "its a bit early for that" is turning into a maybe it was too early in the day/maybe he's not used to this/maybe he needed to be fully briefed on what it's about/maybe he sees it as a negative?

Maybe, he should just accept his manager wants a meeting and just get on with it 🙄

What next? "Employee can you please look at <other reasonable management instruction they are perfectly capable of>"
"Sorry its too early/I'm not used to being given instructions/I need more info/sorry I see being given tasks as a negative".

Agreed. But I do think letting someone know when they cross a line is appropriate. It’s not on for an employee to think they are setting the rules and tone.

I love Askamanager.com. Allison is amazing with suggesting direct communication like this, ask a question then stop talking and get them answer it.

There’s plenty ‘don’t tolerate back chat and that is back chat’ type comments.

Any manager that starts with that attitude is going to find themselves in plenty of sticky situations.

I don't think anybody suggested a "how dare you" response....only that its important to politely make clear that a request from one's line manager is not an optional invitation

To be honest I don’t know how so many posters are so confident he is out of order.

Op how did you communicate this? Face to face? Via email and how did your phrase it?

Usually in these situations the problem arises because both people have a completely different point of view of a situation.

He may have come from somewhere that doesn’t do 1-3-1s and only brings people in to tell them they ar eager. He may have thought you were actually trying to trick him into a review (I have seen ‘let’s have a 1-2-2 and catch up’ turn into ‘you aren’t doing your job and we are letting you go’ a lot of times)

I had 3 people start with me this year and no. And ever had a 1-2-1 and they are late 30s/ early 40s.

My point he responded abruptly because you both have different view, different experiences and so on. You see it as a positive thing, he sees it as negative.

Be curious and ask about his response. Explain these are to support him and so on. Even if he turns out to just be a dickhead it’s always best to start off trying to work on communication.

Being a manager will knock your confidence because there are dickheads. But you will also get stuff wrong. It’s a learning curve. No one gets it right with every person straight away. You will always be learning and improving.

Either way, this is a chance to learn. However, if you go straight in with ‘don’t back chat me’ or ‘how dare you question me’ you will just inflame the situation and make it even harder to resolve either way.

Weekly catch ups here for newbies at least 1st couple months, as well as monthly 1-1s and formal probation checks.. however this was all explained on 1st day/induction... Did you do that ?. Most organisations I've worked in have a fairly standard induction/onboarding process... Especially cos covid .

If you don't/didn't maybe you should make one your comfortable with and communicate it . Have you spoken to your HR? About this if you're a new manager..
Much easier to say this is the way we do things here and book it all in.
And go through the performance management process... Ongoing communication and no surprises..

I am 70!! retired some 15 years ago. To me stuff like wellbeing and work life balance are essential to ensure the successful running of the organisation as well as for the good of the individual. In order to do this I have had occasion to threaten team members with a disciplinary if they did not leave the premises at their finishing time and cease visiting patients during their evenings. To be clear what they did on their own time was their own business but staying on alone in an empty building and working as NHS staff without proper personal safety precautions are both bad for the individula and for the organisation.

Weekly catch ups for new starters here, moving to fortnightly after the first month probation review. Then monthly after the 6 month probation ends.

Initially you're building a relationship, ensuring everyone is onboarded etc. Then training and development of skills and understanding of the role. Finally target setting and ensuring work is compliant.

Remember, it is always okay to ask anyone (especially a direct report) to clarify. It puts the emphasis on them needing to explain comments. Putting it into words can make them realise they're being a bit of a dick. It also shows you are interested in their opinion and want to understand them. Lastly, it helps clear up and misunderstandings such as a poorly delivered joke.

I'd have said "Well, I'll be the judge of that"
Although seriously, another suggestion by a PP to ask "Why do you say that?" Is a good one. It's actually very sensible to check in after about a month to see how things are going so I find their response a bit odd.

My husband works for a company with about 300 people at his site. They have an HR interview after one month, which I think is really good!

regardless of formaily or not, if your line manager asks to see you for the first time, its not good practice to object!

If they did then its even less appropriate to have a bit of an attitude about it, as that just gives more evidence to back up any concerns.

i think this depends on the generation your line manager belongs to. Although I haven’t had one to ones with mine for a long time he is very keen on Well Being and work life balance and by default that is quite ‘nice’.

I think it depends how it was worded when you sent the invite as it might imply something more formal than you intended, in which case yes it would be too early.

I'd not be impressed by my manager essentially saying they have no time for me for the next few months either, especially if I were a new starter.

I'd just maybe consider how these things are perceived, and whether that matches your intent.

I agree with this - I haven’t had a LM one to one for 7 months! My LM doesn’t understand my role though so it may have something to do with how useful these would be.

I would guess they saw it as a check up not a check in. You’ve already had daily contact in the first week and presumably other contact in weeks 2-4. I bet they saw it as a performance management meeting.

I didn’t mean that all or most men are difficult to manage. I don’t believe that at all.

Just a guess that this was likely a man in this particular case.

The 3 worst reports I've ever had, by far, in terms of attitude have been women, so I don't think it's as easy as it being 'a given' that it's a man.

Note it but don't revisit it.

If he tries the passive agressive approach with you again, use any stock response like:

Why would you think that?
Can you expand on what you mean?
Can you explain that further...help me understand your thinking on that etc.

Weekly 1:1's here. Especially for a new hire!

I think what they said was inappropriate. Arguably a bit rude or they might just be lacking in basic social skills.

But I also agree that you need to toughen up a bit. One of the things that you need to accept as a line manager is that your direct reports may often be unreasonable, even if you're doing everything "right" as a manager. People can be difficult/awkward/rude/moody/ungrateful etc. Sometimes this needs to be addressed with them, e.g. if it's impacting on their ability to do their job effectively or work well with others. Sometimes it's easier to just let it go.

As a manager, it's important to choose your battles wisely and to learn not to take everything personally!

I wouldn't be too impressed by you saying you would be too busy over the next few months, it would make me feel really unimportant

How did I even know? You’ll have to get a handle on that. Don’t let people like this undermine your confidence in yourself. You were hired for the position for good reason.

But he’s temp and on probation, right? How is his work?