To not want to share a room on holiday with MIL

I agree with this.

Yeah, it didn't sound like a dream holiday, and to use up your precious leave for it too... It does sound like your future MIL is a Boundary Basher - you're wise to take heed of how she is with the nephews. I think standing up to her now will not only help you, but might help your fiancé grow his own boundaries too...

If you're not a Kid Person (and I'm not), then a holiday with them is not worthy of the name, is it...

I think this “the nephews want to share with uncle” must be a cover up for the fact the place is too small!

Is there another room for you and fiancé to have? Or has someone made an error and tried to cover it up?

This was my first thought too:

Room 1 - DF + 3x nephews
Room 2 - You and MIL
Room 3 - SIL and BIL
Room 4 - FIL

Unless there's a 5th room or MIL/FIL were originally going to share I'm not sure where you and DF are going to sleep.

TBH I'd decline and find a reason you can no longer go.

Edited for typos.

Just read your update, much simpler solution then just say you aren't going.

I was thinking this, I bet this because one extra bedroom would be needed if MIL needed her own separate room.

I'd say to your DF that he can do what he wants, but you aren't coming on this holiday unless it's guaranteed - and this needs to be confirmed by showing a booking with needed number of bedrooms - that you will be sharing with him and nobody else.

What is the alternative set up? Sounds like there are 4 bedrooms, FILs, MILs, a double, and a four person room.

So where are you supposed to sleep anyway? Is MIL supposed to sleep with the boys instead?

Sounds very poorly planned.

Is MIL’s other child the Golden Child?
I think she’s promised the golden child a lie in and palmed that job off to your fiance because she knows what the grandchildren are like.

Because I would probably have to strangle Huey, Dewie and Louie by Day 2... 🦆

Will some of this holiday be nice for you? Or is it one of those 'gifts' that turns out to be an obligation? Because if it isn't something you fancy, it is okay to say No, we have our own holiday plans...

I agree with all the others about boundaries - and go in hard now, because this sort of thing gets worse after marriage... 😬

YANBU either your DP says he wants to share a room with you or doesn’t want to holiday with family.

I think this “the nephews want to share with uncle” must be a cover up for the fact the place is too small!

Is there another room for you and fiancé to have? Or has someone made an error and tried to cover it up?

Maybe some one had originally thought the boys would share with Grandpa and he’s (reasonably - why would any adult want to share within them?) said no way. But the answer isn’t to shove you and your fiancé into available corners.

Just don’t go - it sounds like a nightmare all around.

Glad your fiancé put a stop to that notion. It’s the sort of crap my MIL would pull , when she realised she had committed to something she either did not want, or couldn’t handle.

Boundaries all the way. Keep it light, with a Haha, No! Every time.

Thank goodness. Fingers crossed DP doesn’t cave. Has DN3 never heard the word ‘no’ before?

I mean obviously it's not going to happen.

But what age are these children and what have their parents said?

Is there actually a room for you and your fiancé? Or have the future in-laws booked too small a place and are now suggesting the DN room sharing thing to cover up (ie your fiancé in with his nephews and you in with the future MiL)?

whatever the logic there is no way I’d be sharing with anyone other than my partner on his fmaily holiday. You need the space and privacy for when his family inevitably get too much.

Did they not even ask about available dates or work leave when they sprung this Xmas “gift” on you? I’d be having your fiancé nip that in the bud and explain you both must be consulted before any holidays are booked.

I wouldn't go. As a poster said up thread DC want lots of things they don't get or can't have. The adults including you determine this. If they refuse then don't go.

You just say no to that. You’re an adult! Literally say, we are adults and will be sharing a room as normal, thankyou.

I agree with the message PP typed before!

Also why do the children get to make this huge decision?! Not in my world, that's bonkers. Does your DP even want to do it?

You could wind MIL up and tell her that's perfect, she can try your new sleep routine? Where you share your hopes and dreams together listening to 1 hour of fairly loud whale music followed by some tantric chanting and finally a sound bath played on loop during sleep hours? Oh and you also must sleep with all windows and doors open, in a north west facing bed with only 100% silk sheets.

Nope - I wouldn't be going at all

Just because someone demands something, it doesn’t mean that you have to bend over and offer what they want.

Your fiance has been allocated job of babysitter because MIL knows that the boys aren’t well behaved. It’s not going to be a holiday for him.

I would pull out too. It sounds like it won’t be much of a holiday for you either. If you and your fiance don’t go then the boys can have one room and MIL can have her own room.

Jesus Christ, no way!!!

Just tell them your not going if you can't share a room together. Tell them MIL shared with the nephews.