To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

Well, we are doing each other a favour lol

i don’t know about you, but i have friends and family who love me and don’t see being my bridesmaids as a burden but more so an honour, therefore they’re willing to participate whoever they can.

like i said, if being a bridesmaid was too much of an ask, they could have said no. I feel the same about being a bridesmaid. If I can’t afford to be one, I’d politely decline.

Thanks! 😁

Of course they mean something to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked if they wanted to participate. Had I known I was expected to pay for everything, I wouldn’t have asked because I cannot afford to pay for everything.

However, after further thought, I am now paying for a dress of their choice as a kind gesture which they’re very thankful for and didn’t expect. In fact, many insisted on paying for their own dress when I said that I’d happily do it.

i wouldn’t commit myself to something I can’t afford.

I didn’t trick them at all. They were happy to pay and felt honoured to be my bridesmaids.

Saying that, now that I’m aware that Brides are meant to pay for their bridesmaids dresses, I’ll happily do that, but it’s not something they expect, but more so a kind gesture.

Did you tell them when you asked them that they would be paying? If not, tricking people into paying for your wedding is a bit tacky, don’t you think?

As for ‘pay to play’, do you really think people are in weddings other than to support the bride? It’s not enjoyable in itself normally!

@MissDeeDeeLove the absolute audacity 😂

Exactly its pure tack. I enjoyed the getting ready part and have some lovely phots of it - however i wore jean and a shirt - so i didn't mess up hair and make u. My sister was in leggings and a vest top. I did spend a bit of money on the bridesmaids dress but it was something my sis loved and was comfortable in. She has worn it twice since to events for work so hasn't really gone to waste I wouldn't dream of asking her to pay for anything

How is that relevant? If you’re asking someone the massive favour of being your bridesmaid the least you can do is accommodate that favour as best you can

That’s what pisses me off about modern brides and grooms - they behave like a ticket to their special day is a real favour and treat. When to most people attending a wedding is a huge commitment - time wise and financial - and brides and grooms want to start remembering this. They are doing YOU the favour showing up to your narc-fest ‘happy day’

Wedding lounge wear I believe are cheap fake silk dressing gowns with the wearer’s names on the back and the bride has Mrs <husband surname>. It’s for the benefit of the photgrapher photographing the bride’s party getting ready.

This trend has to be the tackiest, chavviest thing going about weddings and I hope one day we look back and cringe at how such entitled wannabe behaviour was tolerated

I am from the UK but wasn’t aware that the bride paid for all the bridesmaids make up and accessories. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have had bridesmaids.

@MissDeeDeeLove so you’re only having bridesmaids not because these women mean something to you but because they’re forming out to make your pictures look better?

I honestly don’t know who some people think they are sometimes

I used to really love weddings but the stonking entitlement that people who can only afford a registry office and conservative club wedding expect a country house affair at the expense of every fucker else, is ruining it for me. Bang out of order to pay for your own dresses.

Exactly - wedding lounge wear ??? WTF is that ? Another Instagram op - no one needs wedding lounge wear

I paid for my bridesmaid dress and also gave them a gift

You make it wound like you are doing them a favour

Entitled? How so? They could have declined and I would have been okay with that. If I say yes to something, I make the presumption that it’ll come with conditions and costs.

They’re not having to do anything else. I’m literally planning my own Hen-Do.

I did what works for me. I appreciate that may not work for others.

YANBU. The couple getting married should foot the bill for this as well any costs payable if the bride wants them to have their hair or makeup done by the stylist she’s hired.

There is no way I’d have asked my bridesmaids to pay for their dresses. Nobody should be asking this, and if they do they need to let the bridesmaids have free choice to choose any colour or style they want so they can use them again.

Bridesmaids aren’t mean to be regular guests - they do all kinds of helping on the day and with prep eg hen party planning - so to expect them to fund the dresses as well is bloody cheeky. If you can’t afford bridesmaids, you don’t have them.

"Pay to play" ???

What a terribly entitled and pretentious expression.

If a bride wants her bm's to wear a particular dress she should pay for it herself. Or at least have the manners to ASK discretely any bm needs help with costs.

My bridesmaids will be paying for the dresses and accessories. I made sure to choose a relatively affordable dress that could be worn again and said they’re welcome to buy alternatives that look similar.

I am from the UK but wasn’t aware that the bride paid for all the bridesmaids make up and accessories. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have had bridesmaids. I asked my cousins if they wanted to participate in the wedding, they said yes so I presumed they were willing to “pay to play”.

they will be receiving thank you gifts and I’ll be paying for their Wedding Day Lounge wear etc

My bridesmaids paid for their dresses… but I just asked them to choose a dress of their liking that was white. I didn’t get any complaints, one just wore something she already owned which was totally ok. We also paid for their accommodation and flights to our wedding as it was abroad, so I think they thought it was a pretty good deal tbh. I think asking someone to shell out for a specific bridesmaid’s dress, that they might not even like, or ever wear again is a bit cheeky though.

That’s outrageous. I hate this ‘pay for yourself AND the bride. It’s so cheap! If you want the insta wedding, you should pay for it yourself. Your poor dd! I witnessed similar with a friend (was told I HAD to attend the hen at a racecourse-I hate racing, I find it unbearably cruel) and was deeply thankful I wasn’t a bridesmaid, particularly when they were told they had to stay at a hotel the night before and the night of the wedding, which was ten minutes from home for them!

I think it's ridiculous that bridesmaids are expected to put out so much money.
I didn't pay for my dress as a bridesmaid and I didn't expect my bridal party to pay for theirs. I also made sure they were dresses that could be wore again.

I think if you are asked to be in someone's wedding, they should pay for your dress. I paid for my bridesmaids and the for the suits for the groomsmen. I was a bridesmaid at a family wedding where I had to pay for my own dress. I could afford it, but I resented it and had the family politics not been as they were, I would have said no to being a bridesmaid.

I have never heard of bridesmaids or best/ groomsmen paying for their outfits shoes hair makeup etc..it seems a bit tightwad

Tradition where?

I live in northern ireland currently and that would be unheard of with my friends or family

@lemoncurd1995 you’re wrong. Honestly you are.