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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

364 replies

MrsB777 · 01/04/2024 16:36

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for two weddings this year, both of which I need to purchase my own dress for. The dresses that have been chosen range from £100-130.

AIBU to think that if someone asks me to be in their wedding, then they should pay for the dress? I've been a bridesmaid previously and the bride bought my dress.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 01/04/2024 16:53

I'd say I'd I buy the dress that'll be my present to you. I can't afford dress and present.

Normandy144 · 01/04/2024 16:52

YABNU. If someone asks you to be their bridesmaid then they should pay (and that includes makeup and hair as well if that's what they want). Only have the number of bridesmaids you can afford to pay for. I would politely decline and say thank you but I'd prefer to be a guest and if pushed then explain why.

RiderofRohan · 01/04/2024 16:51

RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie · 01/04/2024 16:46

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

Being a bridesmaid is fucking expensive.

Is it?

I've never paid for my bridesmaid dresses (though I've only been a bridesmaid twice). I also paid for the bridesmaids' dresses for my own wedding. I thought that was the done thing.

Birch101 · 01/04/2024 16:51

I would decline unless it was my choice of dress that I actually would wear again not just keep I'm my cupboard for a what if occasion

You'll know doubt be expected to pay for hair, make up, shoes, bag, overnight hotel, gift and then of course hen dos and attending wedding events

Bakingdiva · 01/04/2024 16:50

RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie · 01/04/2024 16:46

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

Being a bridesmaid is fucking expensive.

Not in the UK it isn't

Summerbay23 · 01/04/2024 16:50

RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie · 01/04/2024 16:46

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

Being a bridesmaid is fucking expensive.

I haven’t heard that? I bought my dresses for my bridesmaids and when I was a bridesmaid my friend bought mine.

UncomfortablyBig882 · 01/04/2024 16:49

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses at my wedding because I picked them. So I agree YANBU.

BCBird · 01/04/2024 16:48

Decline. Why should u pay for something that i probably will never wear again. CF

Excited101 · 01/04/2024 16:47

I’ve been a bridesmaid 3 times, have never bought my own dress. People shouldn’t have bridesmaids if they can’t afford them.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 01/04/2024 16:46

I have always had dresses bought for me when I've been a bm... even when the dresses were relatively plain and i was able to wear them again. So i agree i think its weird.
But if they are good friends and you can afford it i would probably just pay for my own and not say anything.

RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie · 01/04/2024 16:46

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

Being a bridesmaid is fucking expensive.

Twistie · 01/04/2024 16:44

Yes, they should pay so I guess it’s a way to offload their wedding budget onto others. I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and told them to do whatever they liked with them afterwards - even sell them for their own profit if they wished.

Up to you if you can afford it, or whether the dresses have possible good re-sell value. Decline the role if it’s too much and if they ask, politely say why.

MumChp · 01/04/2024 16:43

Can't afford it. Sorry. Thank you for the kindness understanding this.

Would be my answer.

Dazzylazzy · 01/04/2024 16:43

I’ve never bought my own dress and my bridesmaids didn’t buy theirs either. If I wanted a certain dress then it was up to me to buy it. I’ve bought my own shoes before but the brief was black shoes. If I had some already I could have worn those but I didn’t. Same for my bridesmaids they chose and bought their own shoes but I was happy for them to wear anything they liked. I wanted them to be comfortable.

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