To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

That's so not the tradition! Not in the UK anyway.

Nonsense.
I USA the bridesmaids paid if they picked their own. In UK bridesmaids' costs are covered by the Groom.
Over the last 30 years there has been a horrendous crossover so people (us or uk) think it is ok to insist on what the wedding party pays without covering the cost.
If BM pay for their own frock then bride's family should cover any other costs (shoes, accommodation etc).
The whole 'being a bridesmaid is expensive' thing horrified me: bridesmaids are performing a service for the bride; they shouldn't have to pay out a penny the traditional uk way).

That’s shocking, your poor daughter, I don’t know what gets into some people’s minds when they’re getting married.

American tradition seems to be having loads of bridesmaids who pay for their dresses. British tradition is that the bride pays (and there used to be fewer bridesmaids).

From what I hear it's normal in America, and the UK wedding industry seems to be taking a lot of their traditions on sadly.

Although funnily enough, only the ones that save the B&G money. In the US it's rare to have a cash bar and most couples provide a free bar, the tight gits haven't picked that one up!

The tradition is the bride pays for the bridesmaid's dresses. It's her wedding, her choice of dress, she pays.
It's very cheeky to expect them to pay!

Tradition that bridesmaids pay or bride & groom pay? I can’t tell who you’re disagreeing with 🤣

There is no lifetime in which I’d expect my friends to pay for their bridesmaid dresses. I cannot stand people who want it all for their wedding but are not prepared to pay for it. Gross.

say no, absolutely do not get into debt for someone else’s entitlement!

I've always paid for mine - three times. But they were all outfits I could wear again.

Tradition my arse.

I'm 55 years old and I've been a bridesmaid more times than I can count.

It's never been a tradition in England anyway.

No, it isn’t 😂

Tradition is that if the bride dictates the dress, she pays.

If the bride says BMs can wear whatever they want, they pay, although more frequently the bride will give a contribution.

Where??

I don't know anyone that's ever had to pay for their own dress in the UK.

I would decline and say why too! Cheeky fuckers!

X posted but this is exactly the sort of thing I mean.

It most certainly isn’t traditional for a bridesmaid to pay for their own dress in the UK. Bride & groom pay for bridesmaids dresses & suit (sometimes hired suits).

Ive been a bridesmaid about 6 times and never bought my dress and we paid for bridesmaids dresses at our wedding.

YANBU, you shouldn't have to pay for anything the bride insists on.

My daughter was "sacked" from being a bridesmaid and banned from the wedding after she had to say to the bride she couldn't afford what she was planning. Dress was specified and £300. Shoes were specified and £50 then hair and make up was being specified and booked. On top of that was £1000 for a 4 days hen party and then 2 nights in the wedding hotel. She said to bride she couldn't afford all of that, bride lost her shit and they haven't spoken since. Such a shame and a waste of a very long friendship.

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress

It's not. Over a period of 25 years I've been a bridesmaid 9 times and never once paid for my dress. I had 4 bridesmaids and I paid for their dresses.

When my dds got married they paid for their bridesmaids dresses.

I think it's tradition that the bride pays.

Dear tight bride, I’m going to have to bow out of being your bridesmaid. When I agreed I was under the assumption that you would be paying for the outfit. As the dress will be £100 and there will be shoes and hair make up etc I think that amount will be more. I’m very much looking forward to your special day and can give you a hand if needed.

And the best answer.

These days being a member of the wedding party seems to be a poisoned chalice. Far better to just be a guest.

If they expect you to spend £100 on a dress you can't choose and will never wear again, that is unreasonable. Could you buy one dress that would suit both weddings that was within your budget? Tell the bride if you need to wear something specific she'll have to hire or buy it.
She could rudely withdraw your bridesmaid duties, but if I were you I'd be relieved.

I think its absolutely outrageous of brides to ask people to be their bridesmaid and not pay for the shit they have to wear. If you can't afford to pay for a dress, shoes, hair whatever then don't have the bridesmaids.

Nasty American habit bought into by brides who want a bigger wedding than they can afford.
You want people to be part of your day, you pay for them. Don't expect them to subside your wedding.

YANBU we're not the US.
My BM's paid but they insisted and also got me presents. I was prepared to pay. At least I bought all their jewellery.

Ive never been a bridesmaid (but am at two upcoming later this year) and have not bought the dresses just had measurements etc.

when we went bridesmaid shoe shopping all together for one lot i expected we would each at least purchase the shoes but again, this was again bought for by the bride.

it does seem an off load, id understand you paying if it was a sort of “buy your own dress but in a certain colour/style” where there’s more freedom and can budget accordingly and have been to weddings where that was the case and some bought theres for £15 and some for more but to be expected to buy that specific dress seems a bit excessive. I understand the costs of weddings can be a lot but YANBU especially in a cost of living situation

I absolutely paid for my bridesmaids' dresses. Flower girls too.