To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, asked them to provide shoes so they got something comfortable but they were back so didn’t have to be new.

I wouldn't have dared ask my bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. They were bought in 2019 but we didn't marry until last year because of COVID and a baby. One didn't fit, I would have paid to alter it but she did it herself (it was just the under slip bit the external bit was fine and you couldn't tell at all). They paid for their shoes but I didn't expect them to buy a certain style or expensive ones or even buy new ones. I also paid for hair and make up and their rooms for the 2 nights. I wouldn't have dreamed to inconvenience people for my wedding, how entitled are people (brides) these days!!!

Not in the UK it isn’t. Horrible Americanism and I would decline. I’ve been a bridesmaid countless times and never have been asked to pay for my own dress. How tacky.

I've been a bridesmaid a few times, never paid for my dress.

Getting married later this year and I'm paying for dresses, hair and makeup. Not shoes, but they can wear whatever they like!

Its been a few years since I was a bridesmaid (in Scotland) but absolutely no way was I asked to pay for my bm dress.

Honestly Op, I would just say sorry , but I cannot be your bm.

Bride pays. She's a CF. I'd politely decline

Not in England it isn't. I don't know about RUK.

Really out of order here (England). I would happily decline.

Nope the UK and the bride wanted an insta wedding but had no money to pay for it all so expected everyone else to pay for it for her. The way the bridesmaids were treated was horrendous, and as sad as it is that the friendship is over, I was relieved my daughter wasn't a part of it and went into debt of about 2k to attend!

I've been a bridesmaid/ best woman three times and eqch time the dress was bought/made for me (and I was given a bridesmaid gift each time, which on two occasions was the accessories
to wear with the dress)
I did provide my own shoes I think but I has freedom to choose i.e. no obligation to spend a huge amount on a specific item. Did my own hair and make up each time.

I had five bridesmaids and chose/paid for the dresses and accessories.

Quite right too.

In UK.

This...

You were asked, the criteria has been set (paying for dress etc.), you cannot afford too, dont want too etc. with the demands that the bride has...

decline the ask to be a bridesmaid

I recently got married, my bridesmaids were given a choice of 6 shades of green to purchase an outfit. I didn't buy the outfits because they were all very different people with different characters and style. I did however pay for hair and make up and accessories.

It's really not, at least not in England. I've never paid for a bridesmaid dress and I paid for my bridesmaid's dresses and shoes.

It might be elsewhere and it might be more prevalent now but it's definitely not tradition.

Tell the bride that bridesmaids don't pay for their own dresses.

@RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie where do you live? I've never heard of this being tradition in uk

What I have noticed in recent years is a move towards having adult bridesmaids rather than children.

Bride should pay without doubt.

Are you in the UK? I've been a bridesmaid 4 times and have never paid for my dress and when I got married I bought all the bridesmaids dresses and flowers girls dresses. This seems so cheeky!!!

Nope. No one should have to pay for the 'privilege' of being someone's bridesmaid.

Is that a typo or are you not British?

Bride should pay. If she can't afford it she shouldn't have bridesmaids.

I had to pay for my own dress for DBs wedding and told by both DB and DM it was "tradition." (We are white British). It was only 85 quid from Debenhams, but it still annoyed me, it was hideous oyster taffeta and not something I'd ever have chosen / worn. Went straight to the charity shop after the wedding! Plus on the morning of the wedding the hair and make-up person apparently 'just worked out' they only had time to do SIL and the other bridesmaid (her sister). I had fuck all with me as I'd been told mine would be done too, had to drive to the nearest large town the morning of the wedding and buy a load of stuff in Boots. Still convinced they never actually booked for me in the first place!

And yes I'm still slightly bitter 😂.

Say no OP!

Since when?

@OhhhhhhhhBiscuits Are you in USA or is the bride just a Chavtastic Bridezilla Sociopath ?

If someone wants bridesmaids they should pay for them. You shouldn't have to pay for your friend's wedding. If they can't afford to pay for your dress and really want you as a bridesmaid anyway you should be able to wear a dress you already have or a new dress of your choosing.

I paid for everything for my bridesmaid including accommodation for her and her boyfriend. I'd be embarrassed to ask someone to do me the favour of being my bridesmaid and then bill them for it.

Tradition where? I've never had to buy one