To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

I'm bridesmaid next month and the bride is paying for everything, except shoes. This has always been the way whenever I've been bridesmaid in the past also.

One bride did specify we had to have specific hair and make up from specific MUAs and hairstylists. My hair is a nightmare and I have a stylist I use if I ever need one, I told her that if I'm paying then I'm using my own stylist. She ended up paying.

I'd possibly pay for a dress if it was a very rough guide, e.g. cocktail dress in blue or whatever but if there are very specific requirements then it's rude to expect the bridesmaid to pay.

In America yes in the UK no it's not usually the bride pays for the dress.

OP if your in the UK politely decline!

It's a trend to ask bridesmaids to do this.

I'd say thanks but no thanks @MrsB777 but offer to help out as it sounds like you are close.

Hope you enjoy the wedding as a guest x

Since when? I've never heard of that.

I paid for the dresses, hair and make up. They paid for shoes (of their choice so they could be worn again, dresses were floor length so not seen in pics) and is the case for anyone I've known married/been a bridesmaid.

I thought the accepted rule was: bride chooses the dress - bride pays, bridesmaid chooses dress - bridesmaid pays.

Don't be silly.

?????

Not here it isn't!

The whole 'do fuck all' 'it's your day' 'people just want to be there for you' mentality Is relatively modern way to spread your money further & save a ton on actually paying for your wedding since it's no longer common or affordable for most parents to fund it

@RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie

RoderickHosclassicblackhoodie · Today 16:46
Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

Being a bridesmaid is fucking expensive.

That is untrue!! It was never the tradition!! The tradition was that the bride bought the bridesmaid dress and shoes and also paid for her hairdo. this bridesmaid paying for her own dress is actually relatively new! bride and bridesmaid also did their own make up. no one did it for them or paid for it to be done!

You can’t ask someone to be a bridesmaid and then ask them to pay for their own dress, of your choosing. What madness is this? That’s never been the tradition in the UK, and long may it stay away.

If at a pinch you can’t afford BM dresses (and the rest of the wedding is fairly budget so as to make this reasonable) you let the BMs wear a dress of their choosing.

Hell no.

It’s definitely not tradition in the UK for bridesmaids to pay. I paid for mine and it didn’t even enter my head that it would be any other way!!

That being said, I do remember being a bridesmaid some years ago. I’m only 5ft and the bride had picked a full length dress, so it needed taking up. I had my alterations done at the same place as the bride at the same time and but I couldn’t be there to collect, so she picked both up then called me and said “By the way, the alterations were £70 so just pay me when you next see me” I was honest and said that I wasn’t expecting to pay, considering the full length dress wasn’t my choice and it would obviously have needed to be taken up for me. It went backwards and forwards and I eventually received a text saying that she’d spoken with her husband and they had “moved some money around to make it work”!! Luckily that was the end of it but when I do remember it I’m still a bit miffed!!

OP were either of the brides your bridesmaids?

Bride pays, that’s the tradition.

Just going to be about the 50th person to quote this and say nope, definitely not the tradition in the UK!

I’m in the UK, been a bridesmaid 5 times and never been asked to pay for the dress.

Like what other’s have said, if they want you in the wedding party then you would expect the bride/groom to pay. I think in the USA it’s more common for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses.

Not usual in the UK.

no it isn't

No its not!

Traditionally the Bride pays for the bridesmaids dresses.

I agree with this approach.

I've been a bridesmaid twice before and have never been expected to pay for the dresses.
I think that's bad form actually.

Asking BMs to pay for their own dresses or anything else you require is outrageously rude and certainly not a tradition in the U.K.

I’ve been a BM 5 times and had 5 of my own bridesmaids.

I paid for BMs:

• dresses
• hair and make up
• dinner the night before the wedding plus their hotel rooms
• flowers

Same was done for me each time I was a BM

I also bought them bridesmaid gifts.

They bought their own /wore their own shoes.

In which country? In the uk the bride pays for them

Bride buys the dress.

I've never heard that - at all weddings where I was a bridesmaid the bride paid for the dresses/shoes/hair/nails etc and bridesmaids organised the hen do and paid for decorations and the bride's share of any hen costs. With my wedding my bridesmaids were very different shapes so I gave them a budget and told them to choose a dress that would suit them within a colour scheme, they sent me the link and I ordered them

I’ve always known it to be that if the bride chooses the dress, the bride pays.

Your poor girl. I’d have been absolutely murderous. Not sure I’d have kept my mouth shut 🤐