To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

YANBU. I’ve never heard of a bridesmaid buying her own dress. I’ve always had mine bought for me when I’ve been a bm, and I bought them for my bridesmaids when I got married. The only thing I did pay for when I was a bridesmaid was £20 to have the hemline altered as the dress was too long. I said to my bridesmaids to wear whatever shoes they were comfortable in (heels or flats) as long as they were neutral colours. They also wore their own jewellery. The intention was for them to wear accessories/shoes they already owned so I didn’t pay for those.

Should also add I’ve always had hair and make up paid for by the bride and I paid for my bridal party (bridesmaids, myself and my mum) to have theirs done for my wedding. I absolutely would never dream of asking someone to be bridesmaid and then asking them to foot the bill for their own outfit, hair and makeup. I actually think it’s really rude and I know how I’d feel if someone did that to me.

I should add that we went to a wedding quite recently - bride late 20s.
Bride and groom paid for Bridesmaid and groomsmens clothes - they could choose whay they wanted within a set palette. Shoes were up to Bridesmaids - as long as they were comfortable that was ok. Bride and bridesmaids did each others make up and hair. Bride, friends and close family catered it all (buffet) and decorated the wedding and reception venue.
It was an absolutely lovely day, that didn't cost the earth and has been one of the most lovely weddings we've been to.
There were Instagram pics, but no OTT behaviour from anyone .

The tracksuits "loungewear" are pink with sparkly bits aren't they......🙄and the Brides has "Princess" on the back

I've never heard that one before. I understood:
Bridesmaids- Bride's family
Ushers & Best Man- Groom's

Amen to this. Your bridesmaids on the whole are doing you a favour by dressing up and assisting the bride on her big day, that's the whole point of the bridesmaid's job. The matron of honour/chief bridesmaid has a bigger role to play usually.

At the very least BM dresses should be bought by the bride.

The one American wedding (for my best American friend there) I was BM at, I had to pay for my dress and everything else and my flights. Thank god she sorted out accommodation and paid for most of everything else. As she got married at 23, most of her other BM's were fresh out of college (uni) and were on limited budgets, I was lucky that I had a job, but it certainly wasn't a well paid job and the exchange rate back then wasn't great either. I recall us all doing our makeup and comparing shoes (she'd wanted red wine colour velvet dresses) which we'd tried to buy, some of us sourced that colour shoe dye or shoes in that red suede (burgundy?), shoes weren't cheap like they are now, it was about 1994, luckily I'd got some in London and the matching dress (Laura Ashley) but I was a bit miffed at having to pay for all of this as it wasn't the British custom to do so.

The bride generally doesn't pay for the all the bridesmaid make up and accessories in the UK, or not that I'm aware of anyway.

If there's a budget she may pay for this, one of the brides I was BM for paid for makeup and gave me a necklace and earrings to keep as well as the 2 other BMs but my SIL only gave me a hair accessory (slide) (she gave the same one to all the BMs) and gave us all pashminas which matched our dresses, there were about 6 of us in total, anything else like jewellery and makeup we had to do ourselves. She was thinking about makeup and hair being done for us all but would've been far too expensive.

I am from the UK but wasn’t aware that the bride paid for all the bridesmaids make up and accessories. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have had bridesmaids. I asked my cousins if they wanted to participate in the wedding, they said yes so I presumed they were willing to “pay to play”.

So you wouldn't have had bridesmaids if you had to foot the bill for anything?
We paid for all the expenses of our wedding party and gave them lovely thank you gifts as well.
Some brides go way overboard and forget that their friends have finite budgets with which to do things.
Even my hen-do was just a nice evening at one of my friends houses.

I think she could be the ops bride 😅😅

no it's frucking not your bridesmaid is doing you a favour and you pay for it.
instead of buying stupid lounge wear buy the bloody dresses instead
if you can't afford the wedding you want either have the one you can afford now or either save up for one you want

my bridesmaid didn't walk around naked. she wore leggings and a long cardigan. she was comfortable but was from her wardrobe. cost both me and her nothing. i wore jeans and a shirt ( yes one of those freaks who are comfortable in jeans) I was happy and my photos of me getting ready are fabulous. as the happiness shows from your face not from what you wear in photos.
you do not need to buy wedding loungwear regardless of what it is

Not its most certainly not! I’m 54 and never in my life have I known a bridesmaid pay for their dress.

“Loungewear” is another word for tracksuits used when people don’t want to use the word ‘tracksuit’. But it’s the same thing entirely

I think the key question is: will your wedding loungewear have various titles appliquéd on the back like “Bride” and “Bridesmaid” and “mother of the bride” etc”?

I've never known any bridesmaid pay for their dresses and I'm.53. It always been the bride/groom who've covered the cost.

I’ve googled wedding loungewear and it’s either tracksuits dressing gowns or PJs, all monogrammed and overpriced. All tacky AF.

Why are you shouting wedding at me? Are you OK?

You were wrong 1 a cent won’t ( or WEDDING!!! If you prefer) is required to validate a marriage. HTH.

The rest of your post is hysterical considering you don’t know me. I’d never dream of treating a friend or family member as badly as you are treating yours.

I think what’s really happened here is that I’ve touched a nerve with you.

And your cousins are only ‘showering you with generosity’ because you’re a tight git making them pay a fortune for your wedding (which you genuinely somehow see as you doing them a favour not vice versa) but then giving them some shitty arse PJs to pose in 🤣🤣

Try valuing people for the humans they are not how much they subsidise your parties for. It’s nice!

loungewear.

i don’t know of anyone who lounges in tracksuits.

Surely 'loungewear' is literally a hybrid of tracksuits and pyjamas ?

Flat no. She is clearly deluded and it’s much easier to opt out that get saddled with all that cost. I bet as soon as you drop out about seven others will, too!

I call BS.

And I’m a bit worried that your bridesmaids normally don’t own clothes. Are they ok?

You literally said

you can pay £57 + £35 to give notice and have a registrar certify your marriage.

anything extra is not a need.

What like, turning up 😂
You clearly said that some marriages can happen without a ceremony. Embarrasing

You missed the post where I said that I will now be paying for my bridesmaids dresses as I wasn’t aware that it was a faux pas not to.

they will pay for any additional they require.

the loungewear they’ll be gifted isn’t tacky but appreciate that is subjective.

What is a ‘separate outing’. Are you asking people to come to a hen do AND do something else?

Nah people like you don’t bother me I just feel sorry for the poor sods who have to fork out for your Princess party and then made to feel like they’re the lucky ones in doing so.

Being a bridesmaid is a responsibility has to be my favourite Deluded Comment of the Week <sniggers>.

This doesn’t take away from anything I’ve said.

Anyway, I’ve said what I had to say.

Appreciate you feel differently and that’s cool.

So it is just for the photos? I'd really resent being provided with a tacky, matching set of loungewear (so basically thicker pyjamas) when I already own perfectly serviceable pyjamas but being expected to buy my own bridesmaid's dress. That's a really weird thing to prioritise paying for over the dress, that they actually do need.