Why are you long term Single?

You aren't alone in this thread, there are others that have said similar.

And to be honest, it's good that I'm happy being single because I'm not exactly 'a catch' - I suspect my options would be very limited, if there were any at all, nowadays.

• Can’t be arsed.
• Most of my friends (both male and female) seem utterly miserable in their marriage.
• It’s much more common to be single or divorced. That means there isn’t such a stigma, and there are plenty of single or childfree people to knock around with.
• The vast majority of men just aren’t worth the effort.
• I felt lonelier in my last relationship than I ever have when living alone.

You're really not different to the rest of the posters👍

I was single for my whole life til I met my husband so not technically single now but have a lot of single experience 🤣

I found that it wasn’t actually that easy to go from speaking to a guy/seeing a guy/dating to actually being in a relationship. I had quite a few people over the years that I was seeing but not one of them ever crossed the line and became a relationship. I wasn’t desperately unhappy being single though. I was really used to it and couldn’t imagine living with someone or seeing someone all the time. There are more people than you think who have never actually been in a relationship but have been ‘seeing’ people

For me it is a bit different to the rest of the thread contributors. I am open to a relationship (single for nearly 10 years now), but men are just not interested in me (never have been - I am not attractive at all). I feel a bit envious of those of you who are single by choice, but still have alternatives if you want it.

Why am I gonna be long term single (forever),
when not married anymore (whichever way)?
Because I prefer my own company, my own living space, am child free and repulsed by most men.
44yo.
😁

I'll add another few things into the mix (I'm on a roll)

1. All of my friends in their 40s and 50s say that if they found themselves single, they wouldn't bother again (they have the type of husband who is "alright really, it's just that ...") All of the husbands are selfish and don't pull their weight. My Mum even says that if she had found herself single in her 40s, she wouldn't have bothered trying to find a new man.

1. A few months after splitting up with my daughters Dad, I changed my FB status to 'single' I got eight PMs that night offering to keep me company / service my needs!! 7 of those mesaages were from men who were married (colleagues, acquaintances, neighbours, an ex member of staff!)

1. Until recently, I was still friendly with my ex husband. The last time I saw him, he bragged about the affair he was having, and opined about his new wife's low self esteem.

1. A male friend of mine also bragged about having affairs with two younger women at the same time. Both of which he'd slept with in the home he and his partner shared. These women both worked at the same place as him and his partner. His partner found out and forgave him, then married him. The last time I saw her, she remarked that she was always fearful that he would leave her.

Because I'm autistic, am very intelligent but have never had the meaningful career to go with it. So, many of the kind of men that are my intellectual equals are looking for a woman who has achieved more in life. And I've got to have an intellectual equal.

Plus....the ones I like don't like me. I don't like the ones that like me (except for one. Incredible intellectual and physical attraction. And a raging dumpster fire of an alcoholic 😪).

It's also tricky only having every other weekend to date. The men who understand this set up most are the committed fathers that have their kids a lot. And we invariably always seem to be on opposite weekends....🤦‍♀️

Online dating is horrific and meeting anyone in real life as a single parent seems impossible. But having said that, I like being single. I don't want anyone else living here and I like my bed to myself.

OLD put me off men totally, I do t want all the crap getting to know you stuff, i have an autistic teen so dating wouldn't work for us as I'd prefer to set her an example of how a good relationship looks

Because I can't be arsed. It's too much hassle. I have many lovely women friends who keep me busy socially, I haven't got time to add a man into that equation.

2 reasons

1. i don't trust myself to be able to tell the difference between a nice person and a narcissist

2. I have a teenager with autism and it makes dating pretty much impossible

Because I don't trust anyone
Because I've not met anyone to change that mindset
Because I'm happy on my own
Because I don't need drama in my life
Because I don't go very far to meet any men
Because I won't allow anyone to take away my security or peace of mind
Because I've worked hard to finish my mortgage , raise my children , accomplish my career to a level I'm happy with
Because I enjoy doing as I wish , when I wish
Because I'm probably a little bit fucked up so I'd not upset another person with that baggage

I have been single for just over a year after a 20 year marriage.

I have been on three dates. They were ok.

But I don't really want to lose my singledom actually. Not even for casual dating.

And after reading some of the stories on this thread, I think I will stay single and even if for the rest of my life, I don't mind.

However, do you think more and more women will choose the single path leaving more and more men wondering where the hell we all are?

I definitely wouldn’t ’judge’ anybody for being single. Everyone’s circumstances are different and that’s their business.

I find men extremely unattractive.

My dc have special needs and it was difficult to find childcare. They are older now but still hard work and I don’t think anyone else would put up with them! If it was just me I would definitely have met someone after I divorced. I did try online dating and met a lot of men but couldn’t fit them around my commitments.

Just to add, that as a single woman, of course I don't judge other single women.

I haven't met anyone who's piqued my interest enough to follow that through to anything more.

No I wouldn't judge anyone else's Eternal Singledom.

Agree with all of this.

Also, it's not just men 65+ who are like that. I did online dating in my early 40s. All I encountered was:

Angry men, bitter about their 'crazy exes'

Overly keen, borderline controlling men. One bloke told me to 'Nuke my dating profile' after one date. "Go on, Rainbow. Delete it. Zap it. You've met me, now"

Flaky men.

Married men. Loads of married men.

Catfish.

Ones who wanted me to be their Life Coach.

Ones who wanted me to Save Them.

Ones who wanted to Educate Me. For example, one man who said he would educate me about music, without even asking what my music tastes were in the first place.

Ones that told me 'I had a lot to learn' when discussing anything from politics to gardening. When it was crystal clear they had no expertise or knowledge of whatever the subject was themselves.

Ones that were sexual deviants.

Lots of very selfish men.

Men who made no effort whatsoever, and would just send message after message with only seconds in between. Inevitably, they would turn abusive; Hi... Hi... Hi there... Hey... are you not speaking?... I can see you online..... Fuck You... Stuck up bitch.

Really offensive men who would comment on my profession in a salacious manner; "Do you do happy endings?" (I was a Sports Massage Therapist)

Men who had no respect for women.

Men who only wanted women who 'looked after themselves' AKA nobody above a size 12.

Men who's chat up lines amounted to "Ditch the sprog, tonight honey. I'm taking you out"

Men who wanted to monopolise my time and be on the phone constantly. One pestered me continually while I was on holiday with my Mum and Daughter. A month later, he went away with the boys on a wine tasting tour and told me in no uncertain terms that he wouldn't be texting or chatting as I should understand that he was On Holiday and it was Important That He Relaxed. (No, I don't think he was married, I think he was just a self centred cunt who had no awareness. Funnily enough, he was a Psychiatrist)

Men who saw me as a meal ticket.

Men who lied about everything. One guy said he was 6ft, had his own home, car and good job. He was actually 5ft 4" sleeping on his uncles sofa, and couldn't drive. I messaged him after learning this on our first date and said I wouldn't be taking it further. He told me I was obviously seeing someone else.

Deluded men. One told me he was a top wardrobe person on film sets. Name dropped constantly and was always using Americanisms ('Oops, sorry, I spend so much time with American film stars, I forgot we dont usually call them band aids in the UK') I decided he was a bit of a fantasist, I politely said he wasn't for me (after two dates) I got an angry rant from him about how I had done a full on character assassination of him. Oh, and that he had 'cleared his diary for six months in order to spend time with me, including cancelling working on Pirates of the Caribbean' He was a fucking nutter.

loads of blokes 65+ wanting to date women 30 - 45 (and usually looked like a potato)

loads of blokes around 20 years olwhoho just wanted to get off with MILFS.

All in all, I saw a lot of disrespect, double standards, full on weirdness and misogyny.

It gave me a bit of a laugh at times, mind.

I have a lovely, happy, relaxed life alone. Its bloody blissful.

It’s easier being single.

I like being single

Same here, not conventionally attractive

I became a widow at 47 either two young children. After a couple years I would have been open to a relationship but it's never happened. Coming up to 15 years now. I'm pretty content though, only occasionally wish I had someone special

When I was younger, because of my parents raising me to have no independent sense of self. Now, I could never fancy a man who want to commit to me. Eugh.