Why are you long term Single?

Because the homophobia I grew up surrounded by filled me with shame at a very young age that it has taken decades to untangle, and by the time I had done so plus society had moved on enough to make dating a woman feel less daunting, I was a bit old, really, and the good ones were taken.

Like my own space and only having myself to think about, although sometimes having someone to share things with would be nice but not enough to make me look for a relationship.

Most importantly I’m very cynical about men and their intentions, there’s so many walking red flags out there, I can’t be arsed to waste time dating someone to discover he’s an absolute prick, or scared of committing! If I ever love anyone again it will be totally organic and unexpected.

Absolutely this!

I do what works for me and you do what works for you. I love dating and all that but long term relationships haven't appealed to me for a very long time

'However, do you think more and more women will choose the single path leaving more and more men wondering where the hell we all are?'

Yes, I think that's already an issue. Too many men have grown up thinking of women as service providers - of food, clean comfortably furnished homes, shopping, laundry, and genuinely can't understand why they are finding themselves unwanted, because many women are saying no thanks.

Because I enjoy life as I am.

Because any man who became a partner would need to make my already good life happier.

Because my last relationship, which ran from when my ds was 4 until he was 9, the man concerned told me I would need to 'get rid of ds 50% of the time if I wanted our relationship to progress.' It took me a nanosecond to make that choice. So I will wait until ds is 18 and away at university before I date again.

I like being on my own. I like making 100% of decisions that impact my time and finances. I like quiet, i dont have a tv, i will watch things on my laptop at a low volume with subtitles if i have the desire, but in general the space i am in i like to have quiet. I like working nights. I have 3 older children who i do alot with but generally activities most people wouldnt enjoy. I have a great relationship with my kids and dont want to bring another person into our space.

Ive had two long relationships. One was 15 years and included marriage. One 6 years. Both failed for reasons outside of my control. Now i control my life, and im much happier for it.

People can judge away.

Lovely thought - if Raymond Blanc or Marcus Wareing were to offer I would be very tempted! But let’s face it, most of the men of 65+ aren’t really adept in the kitchen. I did sort of date one man who said he’d cook me dinner and I thought I was onto a winner there, but what was served up (he said it was cottage pie) looked very like a cow pat slopped on a plate. Wasn’t redeemed by the taste either, sadly. And then we went to a pub quiz and he overruled most of my answers (which were right) and our team lost by about that number. He had to go.

There was another man who became overly interested when he realised i lived in a house of my own (“a whole house, just for you and a dog??”), and then there was the one who said he was looking for a partner who’d look after him as his health deteriorated (it was already on the dodgy side with various ailments & conditions). In sickness and in health is one thing when you’ve put the time in first, but not as the main aim. And that’s before all the various creeps and weirdos that lurk on OLD… No, I’m not giving up my independence for such second-rate offerings.

This made me laugh out loud - thanks!

I've been single for about 3 years after a long marriage.....
More than ready to meet someone and date, but I cannot find a man who wants to actually date, rather than send dick pics....
I think the older I get (mid 40's now) the less tolerant I am and I'm so much quicker to dismiss a man at the hint of a red flag..... Shame but rather be single, than with a dickhead.

I love living with my
Dogs and my DD.
The dogs sleep on my bed with me every night , I love that , no one bothers us , they're protective too so don't need no man coming in wanting to be the big I am!
I think my life is too set for me , I can't just go off on weekends away , holidays , and when dating before that would pee bfs off .. I hate the getting to know them and then their friends and family ... the whole what's your favourite questions on online dating nite me to tears too.no hassle as Christmas on whose parents to visit is a huge bonus too

Yes, pretty much the same. Have never been asked out in my life. I am lucky in that I have children, but I was the pursuer in the relationship with their father, and it only lasted a year - he quite honestly said he has never been attracted and never saw it going anywhere.

I went on quite a few first dates (around 20?) before covid through a dating app, but none of the guys entertained the idea of a second one. I fantasise about having a relationship quite often, but I think realistically it is quite unlikely.

I don't necessarily think it is a very bad idea - I had absolutely zero success with men younger than that, so it is getting harder and harder to rationalise being picky about the age. It was an opinion from a very good old (male) friend, who just says it as it is, without sugarcoating. Just having a pause to think about all the aspects of it - and not even quite sure where the natural meeting grounds would be.

Because I’m fat and ugly

You're not the only one. Im single a long time too. I think I'm invisible to men. I mustn't look very attractive. No men are ever attracted/interested in me (in real life) I'd love to meet someone and settle down. Trying OLD but not getting any dates. Get ghosted, or some men message but can't have any sort of conversation. And get likes from men who are far too young 😒 really don't understand why men of about 25 are interested in women of almost 40. Maybe they're desperate 🤣
I spent quite a few years caring for a relative so ended up quite isolated with no social life, so obviously there was no dating either. Time has passed and I'm trying to find someone to settle down with, but it's hard. Likely will be too old to start a family. But it is what it is

I managed to extricate myself from my marriage on ok terms with my exH and will never put myself in that position again. No more men for me.

I'm very content with single life but I am finding myself drawn to women in a way that I never was when I was younger. I wouldn't know where to start with that though 😅

My husband died long ago. I like being single now.

I need a stress free life.
I'm happy in my own company
I gave up on men and got my gorgeous dog for company... best male I've ever lived with

Haven't got the want or need for any man in my life again.

Even trying to thinking how my life could look if I met someone amazing which would be the only way, it's too abstract, too fuzzy, too impossible to envisage.

Me and DS plus ex of 7 years co-parent and rub along very harmoniously which probably paints an even clicker picture to any outside opportunity!

No its not you,its them.You did not deserve it,you deserve to be happy and free to make your own choices.
I hope you make a wonderful life for yourself and enjoy being free and safe.

Same here, but with my dogs. Fed up of men who are abusive and/or cheat. Can live without sex. Happy as a pig in shit.

Yes, that would suit me. I just don't want to share my whole life, or my flat, with anyone else.

Because I love being single, and tbh I doubt I could find a man who I could gel with. I never really got used to being married, and have spent far more years single than as part of a couple.

Please don’t blame yourself. No situation we end up in EVER should result in rape.

I adore your name btw.

Same.

Because most of the man I meet now aged 40. 50 yrs . What a FWB or a bit on the side ..