Why are you long term Single?

This !!!!!! Same here !! 😂😂

Men got away with this because it was shameful for a woman to be over 30 and single. If she hadn’t ‘bagged a man’ by 30 or 35 then she was an object of pity. I remember my dad saying that his friend was worried his daughter would be “left on the shelf” if she didn’t get a move on. This was in the 1990s!

That just isn’t the case any more. Men have lost their hold over women, but many haven’t realised it yet.

Well most of them.

Because men are useless, lazy, selfish arsewipes. Oh and faithless too.

I'm a lifelong widowed now by my choice. I was 55 when my 2nd husband unexpectedly passed. He was just 60.

I class myself as a married widow. I hope you appreciate the story I have to add to this.

People don't get it in general. Those who know me well know it wont change.

They soon shut up when I say a few things. No one can replace or will replace my husband who also was and is the dad he didn't have to be to our 4 and grandpa to 5 now.

Death ended my husband life. It did not end our relationship/marriage. I've simple learnt how to have a new relationship with my husband.

One based on two worlds beating as one.

As I said to someone recently "Tell me you have lost your mom haven't you?" They said "yes" so I responded "When are you going out to find a new mom then?" 😉

The look on there face was horrified. I rest my case I ended with.

Single 16+ yrs here

Like doing my own thing
Like my own space
Have good job and hobbies outside work which are more than enough
Have lots of friends when I do want company
Have amazing family time with my adult children
Not interested in dating
Like travelling/holidaying on my own

Literally there are no negatives.....

Because I was married for 28 years and realise that since exh and I separated I am the happiest I have been as an adult. There is no way I am ever living with a man ever again. Live with two adult dc both autistic and they would struggle with somebody new as well so happier all round if we stay as we are.

Same here. My son is 12 now. I've been single on and off for most of his life. But now he's the age he is I've decided no more dating until he's 18 and off to uni / has his own life. It's unfair to bring people in and out of his life, there's been a few now where he has grown close to them. Not prepared to keep doing that to him. Also I'm pretty rubbish at relationships and find that I kinda resent having to fit someone else into my very little free time !

Because after a 25 year relationship that ended really badly, I have learned that I love being single. Who needs men when you can have cats?

I’ve been single since separating from my 3 dc dad 4 years ago. I will likely stay single because I have no intention of introducing someone to my kids and I have very little time when I would see someone otherwise. IF I met someone who shared my hobby and our relationship consisted of spending time together every other weekend doing that hobby and not seeing each other apart from that then I would be happy! I feel the position would be more suitable for a FWB than someone who wanted a serious relationship.

I’m 55 and single 4 years and I wish I knew back then what I know now about how liberating being single is.

I had been in 4 relationships from 17 to 51 with only a few months in-between so never had that freedom.

I became single at start of first lockdown and had no choice but to spend time alone and I realised I actually enjoyed my own space.

Ive made good female friends and gave a very active social life, nights out, weekends away, festivals, holidays etc and I would never give any of it up for a man. So even if I met someone, it would be a pretty casual see you when we can type relationship. I never want to cohabitate again.

Ive been on a few dates over last year or so but there’s no one that’s sparked enough interest to want me to interrupt my current life for them.

Tbh in my experience so far, the single men my age are a pretty grim bunch. Too many middle aged divorced men who want a cook cleaner and general arse wiper with sex thrown in or they act like kids in a sweet shop wanting sex with as many women as quickly as possible.

@EBearhug I could have written your post. The only difference is that I got pregnant in my 40s with a fling... I'm a single parent and haven't dated for over a decade. I hadn't dated for years before the fling either. So me having a baby was quite amazing really!

No one ever asked me for a date or to get married and I'm a bit baffled too as to why not!

I've got friends who've married, had kids, divorced, married again, and had more kids and I haven't had a date during all that time. I've no idea how people do it?!

I'm nearly 60 now and I do feel like I've missed out but I'm happy and have a great circle of friends. But yep. Still single.

Divorced during pregnancy, dc now 10 and 13 , we all have a good relationship with ex husband . No problems with co parenting.
I can’t imagine bringing another person in to our household. I do not wish to have to consult someone else on what we do, holidays, money, parenting etc in my own house . We like everything as it is.

😁🤣

I was single for years. It was a decision I took to focus on my DD, my career and family and friends.

I was and am a lone parent.

It was what I needed.

I didn't actually want a partner at all but found an amazing one...but...after 6 years we still don't live together because we both like it that way and it works for our DC.

You need a BoB Battery Operated Boyfriend

Plus side - Hits the spot every time, its faster, always up for it, doesnt expect you to do stuff you dont want to, doesn't nag and you don't have to sleep in the wet patch

Down side - It doesn't wash the pots

Treat yourself, you're worth it :-)

I honestly don't know. I never had a boyfriend at school or uni. I've been single most of my adult life - now 50s. The relationships I have had were mostly long distance.

I don't think I'm hideously ugly, though not the most beautiful woman in the world either. I'm fairly intelligent and can manage a conversation on many subjects. I love sex and apparently am good at it. I earn my own money, no debts.

I have been on OLD the last couple of years, and yes, there are some awful men, but there are some gems in between. I had a wonderful relationship last year with the most amazing man I'd still give my right arm for. And I've recently started seeing another guy, who is not as amazing, but still pretty good. But why it didn't happen in my 20s, 30s, 40s... OLD means I am not invisible in the way I have always seemed to be IRL. And having been single most of my life, I got on with life and did things I wanted to do (as far as money allowed,) and so anyone else in my life needs to enhance it, and fit in with what I already do.

But I have often wondered why no one wanted me. An old friend, whom I've known since childhood, said a few months ago, "I never understood why you never married," as if I had spent all my time turning down the offers. But no one ever asked, and mostly they didn't ask for a first date, let alone anything more, and the few I asked out said no.

It doesn't matter, but it has puzzled me at times (and I would have liked a lot more sex.)

Do you mean

Legally single with no partner, with or without children
Or
Legally single with a partner, with or without children

The reason I am asking, is because if a person is not married or not in a civil partnership, by definition they are single

Too much effort for too little return and a potentially huge increase in complication in my life.

I'm in my late 50s, and quite frankly I don't want to face into the next 20 or 30 years with a partner who might suffer ill health or alzheimers or any other infirmity.

Very happily single since 2009.

@RainbowZebraWarrior so accurate! I recognise a lot of these men too. Thankfully I rarely get the much older men hitting on me though.

Men who wanted to monopolise my time and be on the phone constantly

I had a man do this the other week! I matched with him online and a few days later we swapped numbers. Then he kept WhatsApping me and sending pictures from the sunny country he was in at the time, even though I was attending an online conference that weekend. On the Monday I mentioned it was my day off and he rang me out the blue which I didn’t like.

I missed the call and decided not to call back. If a man I’ve never met wants to talk to me on the phone for the first time, I’d prefer they politely arranged it in advance not just called randomly when it suits them.

I basically told him we could plan a call for later on in the week and he went all silent (sulking). As if he just expected me to be available and willing to answer his calls 24/7 when we hadn’t even met in person yet.

I didn’t like that attitude so I blocked him the next day. He had done absolutely nothing for me but felt entitled to my time and energy.

Because I decided to take a break from men, after two bad relationships, and then I enjoyed the break so much I never looked back.

I love this post! I have met / messaged with so many of these men! They're everywhere!

Because I’m not attractive (and have scarring) add to that now I’m old. Been single most of my life.

also the men that are attracted to me I’m not attracted to them ( physically and emotionally). And if I’m attracted to them they aren’t to me. Only twice in my 52 years there was a mutual attraction but eventually they both ended up cheating on/ghosting me after a few years. I don’t ever want to take chance of having my heart broken like that again

im very introverted and many men don’t like that. They want to be attached at the hip even when I need some alone time.

so I will go into my golden years single and altho I would love to meet a lovely man, I’d rather not take chance of getting my heart broken again.

To be quite blunt I don't have a sex drive, can only muster a mild interest in men, enjoy the solitude and have more important things on my mind.

Because I bloody love it! I so can't be arsed with entertaining a bloke ever again.