My aunts inheritance choices seem to have destroyed my family

Your aunt is to blame here not your DD. I would just let it go.

OP read your post back and as if it was someone else saying it to you, it explains 100% why the inheritance has been left as it is. The aunt has done nothing wrong at all and neither has your DD, your DD clearly gave your aunt so much joy for a long time, with no children or husband of her own her decision is entirely reasonable - no one has a right to the money, it was your aunts, what would you have done if she had left it all to charity or her next door neighbour? Instead she gave it to someone she clearly loved and knowing it would make a huge difference to her life

Your dd was closest to her, had lots in common with her Aunt and lived with her during covid. She’s the ‘most bereaved’.
She’s also been very generous.
Let it go

Your aunt left uer money to whose wanted to leave it to. Your daughter has been more than generous. She went against her aunts wishes and gave you money fron the will. She didn't have to do that. Any problem caused or discord in the family is a result of your greed. Your daughter shared even when she had no legal obligation to.

@Afana what about your relationship with her? 50k in comparison to 1.9 million is hardly anything. I can absolutely see why it's caused an issue.

Op you need to get over yourself. You’re acting as if you’re entitled to the money when, in reality, you’re not.

When someone leaves something in their will to someone, that is there decision. Just because they are related to you, it doesn’t mean they need to give you anything.

Far too many entitled individuals in this world.

Totally bizarre reasoning on your part.

They were close because they naturally stared interests....that's how most people become close.

You're aunt obviously loved her and can do what she wants with her money. Your daughter was very generous to give so much away.

You're right, it is luck that they shared interests and your daughter inherited. Lucky for her, and tough titties for everyone else. That's life isn't it!

Your aunt's choices haven't ruined anything. It's the response of all you jealous, grabby leaches that's ruined things. It's on you lot, not her. Hopefully your DD will bin the lot of you off and leave you to stew in your own resentment.

The only people causing irreparable damage to your family are you and the other jealous, greedy hangers on.

Sounds like they really connected and had a great relationship.

The aunt chose to give her money to whom she chose and no it was not unfair.

I've inherited the most in my family because I am the one that keeps in contact with elderly relatives and has done the most for them when they've needed help and support.

I haven't done it in order to inherit, I retired early and have had more time to be able to help.

No one has resented my inheriting more or all because they know I have done the most.

If your family members are jealous and not pleased for your daughter then they are nasty and jealous minded people and your aunt probably sussed that out before she died!

Of course nobody is 'entitled' to an inheritance. But let's not pretend that for most people here, if a cousin of theirs received a life changing sum of money feom an aunt at a young age that allowed them to be mortgage free with a swish central London apartment and a flash lifestyle there would not be a pang of envy even if you did not verbalise it.

Absolutely this. I'm shocked at this thread it's bonkers. Doing things like this would cause a rift in most families.

Yabu for allowing your aunt to play favourites with your dd......I hate shit like that.

Other than that well it is what it is, not much can be done over money she's been left. Only a fool would turn it down or give massive chunks away, especially at such a young age.

It’s your aunts money to give away, none of these kids are her children so no she doesn’t have to be “fair”.

Whilst it is hard to see 1 person in a family with lots of money while others have significantly less, it is jealousy/envy and YABVU here. Luck or not, your aunt got on best with your DD as they had shared interests. It was actually very thoughtful of your DD to share HER inheritance (and it was all hers, regardless of how you think your aunt ought to have divided up her assets). She could have kept it all. She doesn't sound greedy at all to me.

She's been lucky enough to receive an inheritance and has used the bulk of it wisely, from the sounds of it (buying herself a home outright); as well as sharing not insignificant sums with family members. I think you all need to reconsider your own attitudes here.

I think your DD has behaved fine. She didn't have to give 50k to everyone. The person who behaved badly was your aunt.

My husband has an aunt with no children, and she split it equally between the 5 nephews and nieces. There was no favouritism in the will and no hard feeling. The inheritance however was about 35k each, so whilst hugely appreciated, not on the same scale. My husband's aunt was a wonderful person and would never have favoured one niece or nephew in her will.

I think this is one of those topics until it has happens in your family you won't really understand.

Despite your aunt not having her own children why did she do this? Did your aunt get along with your Son OP? I think it was a horrendous thing of her to do! Yes we know.... it's her money before someone starts saying she can do what she likes it isn't right though.

Wow, and you don’t seem one bit bothered. You’re sacrificing your relationship with your daughter because she’s received an inheritance that’s rightly hers, and you’re just out and out jealous it hasn’t fallen on you. Possibly karma from over the years……

50’000 should go quite a large way towards a deposit. i’d be pretty grateful I went from 0 to 50k. That was generous of your DD.

Erm, yes. Your aunt liked her so left her all her money. This is normal.

I don't see how she can be greedy when she was given the inheritance. I guarantee most people would not give away nearly £300k of their inheritance to family members not named in the will. Most men certainly wouldn't going by most MN threads. If the cousins and brother can't make the most of 50k then that's their own business, not the fault of the op's daughter.

Having no children herself, then I can understand her leaving everything to your DD as she was the one who invested a lot of time in her. It sounds like she saw your DD as a surrogate daughter. I can also see why that would upset you because your DS has been left out. But this was your Aunts money to do with as she wished. Your DD was very generous giving you all a small chunk of it, many people wouldn’t even do that and keep the lot for themselves.
You shouldn’t resent the start in life your DD has been given with the money. If you had all invested the same time into the Aunt she would have probably spread it more equally. If you all wanted to spend time with the Aunt you would have all joined her in activities, even if they weren’t to the boys tastes.
Your DD has brought a lot of joy to your Aunts life, and she has quite generously rewarded her for it. Be pleased for her, don’t resent her. You could have all forged the same relationship with the Aunt, you chose not to, so got nothing in return. Makes sense to me.

Your original post made it sound as if your DD was frittering her money away. She had 1.9M, gave approx 300K to you all, bought a flat at just over 1M which needed refurbishment - probably around 100K. So left with around 400K and had invested some of this. All very sensible.

So you’re all jealous because she’s taken a few holidays and bought some new clothes - all of which plenty of young and single people do.

What did you all say to her yesterday that she had to leave ?

Quoting myself but I'd really love you to answer this OP