Would you fall for a romance scam artist?

Nope but I am naturally suspicious I think they usually prey on vulnerable people

"Do you think they try several women before they succeed or can they tell which women want to believe, or are vulnerable?
Or could any of us get drawn in?"

Yes, I think they try several women and stick with the ones who fall for the blarney.

They're just players with a different agenda. The cold-callers of the romance world.

I suppose anyone could get drawn in if they were feeling particularly vulnerable/unloved when the scammer struck.

I'm always shocked at all the much older women being romanced by 20 year olds and actually thinking they fancy them

If a man in his 20s flirted with me I'd automatically think it was a scam

The woman on Catfish UK who thought she was talking to George Ezra was unreal. The tinder Swindler however, I can see how some of them were sucked in.

That one on ITV who was the 9th wife or whatever (The Other Mrs Jordan) was shocking. However you have to remember that was just as mobile phones were becoming common and internet etc. Now I think a lot of women are more "worldly wise" - you can see how much easier it is to find out partners are cheating and now women are accustomed to thinking it is weird for men to be out late etc, as there is no excuse for them not being trackable or contactable.

That being said, I do remember several guys doing the spy/secret service tricks in the 90's. Last one who tried it on was a manager when I volunteered at Help The Aged of all people. All the young girls used to go out and smoke and laugh at the 40yo telling outlandish lies to get into their pants (this was about 2010) so even then it was wearing a bit thin. Maybe they would have believed it more if he had been younger or not simply at work every day what idiot pretends these things to his employees? 🙄

I have been caught out by far more mundane lies (the usual cheating/lies about their past that impact the present) but in my defence I've never married any of the sods or signed over large amounts of cash. I have a healthy cynicism for men and any man asking for money gets the elbow quickly.

"edited to add the name of the ITV show

A friend of mine fell for one. He was newly divorced, lonely and yes, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She lived in Africa supposedly and he sent her money for a flight to come and visit him. Of course, she never came. He says he sort of knew it was dodgy, but he went along just in case it wasn’t. Loneliness is a powerful emotion.

I did, and I'm a smart, professional, well educated woman. I'd just got out of an abusive relationship so was vulnerable and he knew the buttons to push

This was in the days before dirty John et al was so well known, but I always thought I would have been able to spot a scam a mile off.

I figured it all out after about 5 months so didn't get in hugely deep but damage was done. He wasn't as clever as he thought, police were involved, and I got some of my money back.

A horrific experience all round, years later it still affects me.

No! There must be another a bit like him. Probably not as good as Brad though. No-one could be.

He’s committed to me and only me. I’ve got that in writing.

Yes I agree with this. You want something so much you override your own common sense.
Its a tough balance though because if you do the opposite (and never believe anyone) you’ll be on your own forever.

Are you stealing my hot man??

I guess everyone on this thread has heard about romance scams and the tactics used and that in itself must be a massive protective factor, surely? It's women who aren't plugged into this type of intel who are amongst the most vulnerable.

I have a friend who's not on social media and barely online at all and I bet she's never heard of any of this stuff. She's quite stingy so I can't imagine it happening to her, but other women like her who are a bit more trusting and generous, I could see how it might happen.

I would hope not, but I was surprised last week when I opened my Whatsapp to find a photo of a very handsome Japanese astronaut in my contact list, complete with space suit !!

Never underestimate how powerful wanting to believe something can be - and that doesn't exclude even obvious scams for some

Someone asking me for money will be a deal breaker at any stage of our relationship. These men aren't asking for a tenner - they usually want large amounts transferred. I won't do that for anyone period, but I guess I'm a tight git.

No I wouldn’t fall for it. But I would say that wouldn’t I? If someone is being fooled they don’t know it.

The Bad Surgeon documentary was bloody terrifying though. He wasn’t just a romance scammer, he actually operated on people who then died. A charlatan in every area of his life. An awful story.

No chance. I've never been desperate for a man, and any prospective date asking me for money would be such a turn-off anyway, even if they were genuine.

I hope I'm never lonely or vulnerable enough to be sucked in.

No because I'm cynical and suspicious in nature.

I don't trust anyone especially men.

It's all very easy for us to assume we wouldn't get sucked in, but these guys are often very thorough.

I watched the Tinder Swindler and I guess the thing is the guy gave his dates every sign that he genuinely had the money he said he had. I mean, he did have some of it, it's just it was from other women he'd swindled. And he made sure to develop 'emergencies' in the middle of the night when his marks would be half asleep and more likely to take the bait, for example.

I think they choose carefully.

They probably cast the net out wide but then focus on the women who trauma dump early on because they have given these guys the tools to manipulate them with.

Imo it's like tarot readers or psychics, there's a skill to reading someone and making it sound like fate.

It’s hard to credit isn’t it?

I was lucky, though. When Brad contacted me from Afghanistan I just knew he was for real. He’d seen my picture online and fallen in love! Combat surgeons in the US Marines don’t just randomly get in contact. And his spelling was only a bit off because he was typing under fire.

Before he was in the Marines he had a very successful practice in LA, operating on Hollywood stars. He’s just too classy to be a scammer: he only signed up because he’s a patriot.

He’s back in civvy street now but has some money problems. Something to do with helping Afghan orphans: they’re so expensive! The £25k I’ve sent him is going to two good causes - well three really, because I can add my future to the orphans’ and Brad’s.

He’s coming over soon. Just as soon as the CIA have finished debriefing him. It’s very thorough, apparently.

I’m so lucky. Which makes me all the sorrier for those who get suckered.