Would you fall for a romance scam artist?

I don't know but I've been like that all my life. Basically I guess the friendship or relationship grows and things fall into the correct places.
I really take my time getting to know people.

I'm as tight as a gnat's arse so while I might be susceptible to flattery, I wouldn't be sending any money their way.

If you are lonely and hurt and vulnerable and someone comes along telling you you are wonderful…. That can be hard to resist

easy to say it would never happen to you, if you are in a secure place in your life right now

They all "know" they can trust them. Until they find out they shouldn't have.

No I wouldn't. Aside from these scams, I've never understood why some women seem to fall for men who are clearly full of absolute bullshit! They seem to lap up the compliments and declarations of love and completely ignore the fact that all their actions show that none of its true.

But then I think I've always been avoidant of real intimacy. So I suppose if I craved it I would be susceptible to being fooled.

I think lots of people get conned.
Just look at how many people stay with abusive men, why don’t they leave?
Why don’t they leave when someone cheats on them?
Is there a difference in staying with a man who takes your money as opposed to one who takes your self esteem?

Also depends how long their game is. Lots of us think we’d never be scammed by the surgeon or the army guy, but plenty of women have committed their life, children , finances to a man who turns out to be abusive (often years in) . Often in these situations, there have been tiny red flags from the beginning that we saw as insignificant at the time. It takes a lot of (shit) experiences and education to be able to identify red flags from the off.

No I wouldn't. I'm cynical by nature and never trust anyone until I know I can trust them. Too many dodgy people out there.

That's it, it's not like anyone will say yeah, of course i'd fall for a scammer. They're being emotionally manipulated, they're acting in good faith and just getting slowly sucked in. There but for the grace of god etc.

I've read far too many Take a breaks in my 62 years to fall for such stuff- why do people? Lonely in many cases and want 'someone' in their life - in the tinder swindler situation- it wasn't loneliness but greed/ego

Exactly this - I see marriage as a bit of a scam for women as it is, so I've swerved guys who don't offer anything to the pot and never married. I've still had guys cheat and so I think we do all actually know what it's like to be scammed - we all know exactly how cheated these women feel because most of us have had the emotional/physical version if not the monetary.

I think loneliness makes people very vulnerable.

No I would not now but I could fall for any scam if I were to get dementia, brain injury or if when I am older the technology is too far ahead of me because I did not stay up to date.

At the end of the day I don't think I'd fall for a scammer because:

• I'm quite happy in my own company, I don't think if I were single again I'd be that desperate for someone else
• I'm not a 'passionate' high emotion person and take a long time to develop strong feelings
• I feel very insecure if I don't have a good buffer of savings and would not risk that for anyone. I've never loaned anyone a large sum of money (though I'll happily give smaller amounts of a friend is in need and I won't expect repayment)

Exactly. When people WANT something enough all bets are off, they’re blinded by the light.
One of my children participated in a sport at elite level, and the rewards for those who succeeded were massive, in terms of fame and financial rewards. I saw parents lose all sight of what was safe or appropriate or even normal for their children in pursuit of monetary gain/ fame. I guess it’s the same with romance.

I think lots of them don't actually ask directly for money as well.

They kind of hint, and then do the old "I couldn't possibly" when it's offered.

If someone is there after 3 months saying "sweetie could you lend me 10k please" alarm bells would ring. Whereas someone you've been chatting to and are 'in love' with saying "My son has been in an accident and I can't afford the medical bills, he's going to die" would pull the heartstrings a lot more.

I think anyone could fall for a scam if they're caught at a bad time. Like the cold calls you get, most of the time they're so obvious and random, but for every 100 people who see through it there must be 1 person who might bank with HSBC, might be in the process of making a large transfer, who gets derailed into a scam. I bet the romance ones are the same, any other time she wouldn't fall for it but was caught at an off time.

Yep, it happened to me when I was in my 20s. I was broke, though, so he didn’t get much out of me. But the whole relationship was abusive and traumatising.

I do think it can happen to anyone. Someone just needs to invest time and effort into fooling you. Look at all the posts on here from women who find out their partner is a serial cheat/addict/violent years into a relationship. They aren't always being scammed for money, but it's the same thing. Always plenty of cocklodgers about, too.

Hi gorgeous, nice to meet you. I'm currently working with a charity that provides yurts for homeless orphans, kittens and puppies.
My bank card has broken and I need £10000 urgently.
Can you help?

You would be surprised. People are easily hoodwinked by flattery. Even more so when they are fairly gifted people they think "finally someone sees me for how great i am".

It depends where you are in your life at the time tho. Recently bereaved? Friends all too busy? Kids just left home? Recently divorced? I’d like to think I wouldn’t fall for a scam but we are all different people at different times in our life especially when we are vulnerable. Best to stay alert, be intellectually curious and non-judgemental.

The only way I'd get scammed is if my DH died and then I'd remarried someone else who turned out to be a scam artist. But the new man would have to fulfil a long list of (almost impossible) criteria to marry me in the first place.

I'm old fashioned, so tbh I wouldn't want a man who needed money off me. And he'd go right down in my estimation if I had to support him. It's just not sexy to me.