Would you fall for a romance scam artist?

No. I’m far too careful and don’t trust people.

See, they always say on these shows like the one on BBC with Kym Marsh that these scammers are very, very convincing and clever, but every single time I watch it I’m thinking, ‘’Yeah, it wasn’t remotely clever, it was obvious’’ I don’t get it either. They are literally so obvious to me, all the time. Think they might just be trying to placate the victim. I would never say never though, what with AI becoming more sophisticated. I really don’t think I’d fall for one at the moment, though, and I’d never send money to someone I hadn’t met so they would have to meet me and work really hard to gain my trust so who knows if it would be worth the fassle 🤣

YABU for the phrase "romance scam artist" - Fraudster would suffice

No, because I'm not interested in a relationship and never have been. I immediately mistrust any man who's more than commonly friendly and I loathe flirts. I don't have any property or assets that would attract a scammer, or a cocklodger for that matter.

My friend got scammed badly, he was in his 40’s and had just got divorced had started internet dating and had no real online experience. His wife left him for a much younger man and refused him having contact with his step kids he’d raised from babies, he felt he’d lost everything.

He had no real attention off women his own age - or even a few years older or younger, but then suddenly a beautiful woman with terrible spelling and bizarre use of language comes along and tells him he’s everything she ever dreamed of.

The worst thing wasn’t even so much the money he lost, it was the sheer amount of time. He was spending hours online, he owned his own business and started to neglect it and was just on his phone/laptop constantly.

I hacked into it to read the conversations (not literally but his password was STEVE1968) and they were just so sad with him pouring out his heart and replies of “I love you dear, we will be together dear because our hearts are the same and we in love and I dream of you every sekond” and poems lifted off the internet.

Luckily I did a reverse google image search and the woman he was talking to was a celebrity in another country! It wasn’t at all convincing if you knew what to look for.

He lost £8,000 and a lot of pride and had a dented ego. He would probably still fall for it if it happened again sadly because he’s lonely and vulnerable.

I work in fraud - sometimes it’s a genuine lack of mental capacity. Other times the scammer has found a vulnerable person out of a hundred they were talking to.
For someone who is lonely and crying out for affection, the scammer comes across as attentive, loving, genuine. They might not even ask for money, they’ll pose a problem for which they need money and of course the victim is only too happy to help their true love.
It’s hard for me to understand - if I were single I’d be more than happy to enjoy my own company and wouldn’t feel like I’d be unhappy forever unless I found someone. However there is a deep rooted need in some people to have a partner and without one they’re incomplete. This leaves them open and vulnerable to it unfortunately.

I think most people have the potential to be scammed by a really good, takes their time to build trust scammer.

That might be more an urge to get on Netflix tbh?

I watched BBCs For Love or Money, long before Tinder Swindler etc was on. In these cases the scammers seek out vulnerabilities, the recently windowed seemed most at risk. Often the victims would keep sending money even when their families told them it was a scam and tried to stop them. It’s like anything, if it seems to good to be true, it will be.

I loved the fact that I got one when my profile pic is me in the wedding dress. Like seriously!

Someone came into our neighbourhood Facebook group one evening and said "This guy is chatting with me, do you think it might be a scam?". She posted a couple of screenshots and it was obviously catfishing. After about 20 people had told her that yes, it's definitely a scam, she said "Oh dear, another one. I fell for the same thing about 6 months ago and only found out he was a scammer when I'd already sent him money". Unreal.

(If this post looks familiar, it is, as I already posted this a while back on another scammer-related thread. But it seems worth repeating.)

There's a lot of those chaps floating about. Perhaps they should start a support group?

He’s never mentioned one. Would you like me to ask? I know he’d only have good, reliable friends.

Nope. I got a classic friend request yesterday - good looking US serviceman widower- aye right!

No doubt he had a sick child, gold waiting to go through customs or had had some kind of accident en route to the airport to meet me.

I can't understand the ones who go on for years sending thousands to these people without ever meeting them.

I've had a few random friend requests on facebook recently. Obvious would be scammers.

Has he got a friend 😋🤔

No.
I don’t want some bloody annoying man messaging me, sending dictures or trying to romance me. Yuk.
I am skint anyway so I am low risk.
A friend of mine has been scammed by a handsome man, in his profile picture he is topless and holding baby chicks. She’s given him over 1k 🫤

I wouldn’t because were I to find myself single again I would stay that way.

It did happen to a friend though. Single mum with two kids, one with additional needs. She got into a relationship with this guy and they were together for about 6 months. He stayed over one night and when she woke up in the morning he had taken everything, kids games consoles, tv, laptops. She was on benefits at the time and working a very low paid part time job. I don’t think she got anything back.

And we know all the obvious ones now. If there was a new way we might get fooled.

I think it's easier to be sacked in if your doing online dating. My friend was twice as she is not stupid at all. Luckily she didn't pay out when asked. I think the promise of a rich handsome business man offering a future was worth a punt. I was amazed how many months it took before going for the accident news.

Gently warning of scam fell on deaf ears so I didn't push it. Some people aren't naturally suspicious

People on mumsnet tend to be more savvy (I mean we know how to post on a forum and add obviously aware of all these cons).

My aunt is honestly hopeless. She nearly got caught up in one on Facebook (she still gets wall posts and messages confused) until we stopped her and pointed out how he could view things on her profile to know what to say and how obviously fake his photos were. It also never really occurred to her. Oh and she was recently widowed. Probably the main thing!

They often target those they can work out are vulnerable and/or learning disabilities. Very sad.