Unwanted "friend"

Stop being so nice. BLOCK HIM.

No long-winded letters explaining how you feel. He won't read them and frankly doesn't care.

You will feel like a weight has been lifted once you've blocked him.

You owe this man nothing.

Could you just cut him off every time he starts texting like"

Thanks! Really tired. Will text another time.

I'm good thanks. Busy this weekend so will speak another time (if you can't simply not reply without not sure why you can't just ignore all the messages)

If he continues could you just be honest and tell him you hadn't really intended on an intense friendship.

Saying that, all the messages reminds me of something I did with a woman I met at the gym. Nothing romantic, we just became friends, but I could get worked up when hormonal (severe PMDD) and would send a lot of texts. Not about her but say I'd had an argument with boyfriend I'd send messages almost like I needed to rant and get it out of my system. I didn't know her well and she backed away. I've learned not to do this now. Also fairly sure I'm autistic.

I actually really like @WWiddlinDiddlin message.
You could absolutely send that, spell it out for him, he knows what he's doing and you should make it clear that you also know what he's doing, I'd also add that he can arrange with your Dsis to collect the gifts he's bought you from her.
Don't feel like you're being mean, he's playing on your niceness.
Time to get tough then block him.
Btw I love that that you won against someone trying to snatch your bag, you go girl!

Some excellent advice on this thread.

Stuff of nightmares.

Get a fake boyfriend as soon as.

This guy does not heed boundaries. It doesn't matter how clear and specific and detailed and reasonable you make them. He's shown you he doesn't give a shit about your boundaries, or wellbeing.

I would also suggest you may be wrong in thinking he poses no danger to you.
Another reason why a marvellous "new boyfriend" should appear in your life, or reappear, if you can think of an old boyfriend to fake return in your life.

This sort of man will only be dissuaded by the presence of another man. Your wishes don't count here.

Is his "ex" definitely his ex? Or just the last woman he did this to?

I think the gifts are a huge problem.
Likely he's keeping score and in his mind you owe him, that's why he feels entitled to bulldoze through any boundaries you try to put up OP.
With this sort of behaviour it's a bit like an ambush, normal polite people who dont behave like this are on the back foot and dont have a defense for aggressive over friendliness. Before you know it you have unwittingly condoned his behaviour and become complicit. You feel unable to say no because you are aware that all the times you acquiesced will be interpreted as a big 'YES PLEASE'

The longer you leave it the harder it is to put a stop to it.

Can you give all gifts back so when you cut him off he can’t run the gold digger line?

Nah, get him binned,
Theres a guy at my work like this. He is on the spectrum so has no concept of social boundaries.
For the last 2/3 years he's messaged myself and my friend (both married) almost obsessively. Some have been inappropriate, the number of messages were annoying. We tried being kind, we tried bbeing rude. now I totally ignore him. my colleague does mostly too.
Recently he's become unhealthily obsessed with a young lady who started with us. Buying her gifts, messaging her 5/6 times an evening, asking her out and generally making her feel uncomfortable. She won't say anything to him though and won't let boss speak to him.
Its going to end in tears. I get he's not aware but he's desperate. ITs too intense.
But being kind and nice and not saying NO to him isnt working.
He worries me as his intensity is overwhelming, suffocating.
Send your stalker a strongly worded message and block. Thats the only thing that worked for me.

If i thought he genuinely was clueless as to what his behaviour actually means... I might say (before blocking him!)...

Dear X,

I feel forced to spell this out to you so bluntly, but here goes:

• When you constantly give gifts for no reason, this isn't 'nice', this is building an expectation or obligation, that the receiver will continue to interact with you/owe you/be nice back. It equates to pressure.
• When you do not listen to things you do not wish to hear, such as 'I do not have time/I am busy/No thankyou'... it puts pressure on the other person.

You have done both to me repeatedly and I am left with no other option than to block you and end our friendship, immediately, and completely. Further attempts to contact me will be regarded as harassment and I may take legal action.'

If I thought he actually did have a clue what he was doing, I'd just message the last sentence and block.

I wouldn't be worried about upsetting him or her, if she tries to take his side just show her all the messages. But if you don't feel able to set boundaries just mute him so you don't immediately see his messages and reply occasionally saying 'sorry crazy busy, not around this week' and reduce over a few weeks.

Tell him that your mutual friend has told you to back off now because shes decided she wants him for herself and you respect that, then block him and tell her she deserves it and not to set you up again.

@WalkingIntoSpiderwebs

I'd use the same generic message as I recommend for a break up, replacing 'relationship' with 'friendship'......

"I've been thinking for a bit and this friendship really isn't working for me and so I am calling 'time' on it. I wish you the best in life always, but must request that you do not contact me going forward".

You could always add "if there is anything that you have given that you wish to be returned, please let my sister know and I will make arrangements with her".

Short, casting no 'blame', but very clear.

I think you need to spell it out really clearly to both him & Dsis that what he is doing has a name. If you have to, send him a link or a book about love bombing and tell him you're trying to help him see how his behaviour can be alienating to the women he pursues. He clearly doesn't understand that his behaviour is smothering and off putting.

You need to make sure Dsis is on side and prepared to have your back when he flips this on you.

You went into this stating clearly that you don't want a relationship. You did everything right. Don't let him play you.

You do need to send him the gifts back, IMO.

Your 'friend' is the problem here, OP. I bet she let him think there's a good chance of this 'turning into more', which is clearly her wish and not yours. So I'd say you need to have this out with her since she's been so interfering.

Bit difficult to bin your sister....

At least read the OP's posts so you know what's happening.

You need to be very blunt with this desperado and tell him that his attentions are completely over the top and and the harassment has to stop.

Then block him anyway.

If your friend who introduced you makes a fuss, bin her too.

How very OTT. I'd be quite simply blocking! Don't reply to another single message. He will get the hint eventually. And don't discuss him any further with your friend.

This all the day long.

You're friend has not just thrown you under the bus, she's full on rolled you under it like a bowling ball! She's a gem isn't she?!

I would bet one of my kids, that her conversation to him by way of introducing you, was definitely a romantic suggestion.

Tell him once more that enough is enough and if he continues to harass you, you will have no option but to block him from contacting you by all means possible.

I would also be telling your friend, that if she pulls something like that again, it will be friendship over.

He has indeed bought things for my kids too (despite never having met them)

WTF??!

You need to protect your kids from these kind of creeps. He's like a stalker.

Put your big girl pants on and tell him to fuck off.

Did your sister give him your number without asking you? Tell her to fuck off too and NEVER DO THAT AGAIN WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!

Only read OP so far.

I think your friend is out of order. She doesn't want you to stop talking to him as she will have to cope with the fall out.

I would send one text. I have enjoyed talking to you but you want more attention from me than I have time to give. I appreciate the gifts but ask that you stop buying them for me. I would like to be friends but I feel you won't be happy with what I can give so think it is best we leave contact now.

Then see how what he comes back with. If mature and reflective then do what you want. If anything but reasonable, block.

It wasn't her friend, it was her sister!
Maybe she was genuinely shipping them/wanted her sister to be happy.
Mistake on her part though.

Agreed. I thought the same from reading this paragraph of the OP:

'A few months back, my friend and I were chatting and she was talking about a male friend of hers who was having a rough time (used and dumped etc).
She then had this bright idea that because the male friend and I shared the same hobbies and interests, I should be his friend to cheer him up "and maybe it might turn into more".'

She offloaded her friend onto you OP, because she'd had enough of him. Don't worry about looking like the bad guy. You're getting that feeling from her because she doesn't want his focus back on her. Do whatever you have to do (legally) to get rid of him - give him back, pass him on, emigrate...