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Original poster

I hate our holiday and want to go home

841 replies

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:10

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

OP posts:
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crackofdoom · 30/03/2024 11:30

Both Farnham and Aldershot have train stations, if I recall correctly. If the DC are under 5 they travel for free.

user1477391263 · 30/03/2024 11:30

Sounds like you are in a bit of a shit location with limited means of travel.

For this time round, can you stretch to a few Ubers (if public transport is rubbish) and head out by yourselves? Or hire a car? If you are living in the US, I'm assuming that it's unlikely that neither of you can drive. You can get automatic rental cars these days.

For next time, I think you need to be firm with MIL and insist that she meets you in a part of the UK that you would also like to spend time in (or even the continent if she can drive or take a train via the Channel).

MILTOBE · 30/03/2024 11:30

Tell your MIL it's her turn next year. Tell her you will pay for her but she needs to see a doctor about her worry about flying. It's just crazy that you're having to spend your holidays like this.

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 11:29

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:27

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail and all that - next time, have an itinerary and be firm with mil.

I am have decided I am not coming next time, however my partner doesn't want to travel with 2 kids under 5 so I will probably end up having to.

They're his kids? So he'll have to lump it

Original poster
Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:28

Should've rented a car, loads to do in driving distance. Or were you anticipating trips to have been arranged for you?

I wasn't expecting trips to be arranged, I was trying to minimize any additional cost. The UK seems ridiculously expensive.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 30/03/2024 11:28

Hire a car or go on the train? You sound so passive about this whole arrangement.

RainStreakedWindows · 30/03/2024 11:28

This comes down to bad planning unfortunately. You shouldn't rely on someone else for transport. If you can't drive, you should have made plans to get trains to other, nicer places.

saffronflower · 30/03/2024 11:27

I mean, you could have rented a car. You arent helpless and fully reliant on people driving you around surely? there are no trains either? I'd be going to London if I was you for a day out

Ginmonkeyagain · 30/03/2024 11:27

Get the train to London and jump on the Eurostar. You'll be in Paris in under 3 hours

Bumblebeeinatree · 30/03/2024 11:27

There must be things to do in and around Aldershot, parks, museums and countryside. Have you googled for things to do? Walking up and down high streets is not what I would chose to do if I was on holiday in some random US town visiting relatives, I would be actively looking for interesting stuff locally. Have you hired a car? There is a lot of nice countryside not that far away.

Come with a plan next time.

Original poster
Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:27

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail and all that - next time, have an itinerary and be firm with mil.

I am have decided I am not coming next time, however my partner doesn't want to travel with 2 kids under 5 so I will probably end up having to.

OP posts:
Abhannmor · 30/03/2024 11:27

You don't live in Detroit then , where the water is poisoned. Or in Oregon where it smells like hard boiled eggs. Can't you head to the coast or London for day trips?

crackofdoom · 30/03/2024 11:27

Perhaps I should say that I do understand the awful, passive aggressive inertia that relatives who never do anything can exert on a trip (my parents house is fairly close to Farnham, and I used to have inlaws whose house had a beautiful view of the Brecon Beacons but who never went there), but you have to fight against it. "So, we thought we'd jump on the train to London tomorrow and go and see xyz, who's coming??" Just ignore the moaning and tutting.

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 11:27

Stay in a b&b next time? Working sounds a good idea if it means you get your holiday back. Could you find something to do in the area or a little further a field? A day trip to London. You don't have to be with the in laws 24/7

MumUndone · 30/03/2024 11:26

Should've rented a car, loads to do in driving distance. Or were you anticipating trips to have been arranged for you?

Funfuninthesunsun · 30/03/2024 11:26

Hire your own car? Book a couple of nights stays elsewhere? Get the train somewhere?

Librarybooker · 30/03/2024 11:26

Are there no trains there? Plenty of options for days out

NCForQuestions · 30/03/2024 11:26

Schools are shut now for the Easter weekend at least, so you're free. Jump on the train. Go to absolutely anywhere and look for a nice big park!

Ginmonkeyagain · 30/03/2024 11:25

You don't need to drive - we have trains and Uber here in the UK. Set yourself free.

Terribletooths · 30/03/2024 11:25

Still a nice part of the world. Could you rent a car? Winchester not far for a spot of walking about and coffee, just for an afternoon.

Marwell zoo for the kids?

bit shit if it’s raining but leisure centres, there a few climbing walls and maybe a trip to the coast near the new forest or even just a drive around the coast?

FictionalCharacter · 30/03/2024 11:24

It seems very unfair that you have to spend two thirds of your vacation allowance doing these miserable visits every single year, just because MIL wants you to. How does your husband feel about it?
If she's so desperate to see her grandchildren can't she work on her fear of flying so that she can come to you every 2 years? If you paid for her flight it would be much cheaper than all of you going to the UK.
Why 2 weeks each time, isn't a week or 10 days enough? I can't imagine your SIL is delighted to host you all for 2 weeks if she doesn't have much space.
This all sounds like something that pleases MIL and nobody else. The rest of the family matter too.

Original poster
Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:24

So far we have visited Whipsnade, Woking, Windsor Fleet and Guildford. We can't go anywhere without SiL because she does the driving. We have to be back every day because we have to collect her kids from school.

OP posts:
Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 30/03/2024 11:24

Catch a train to London and hqve a few days there.
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail and all that - next time, have an itinerary and be firm with mil.

Ginmonkeyagain · 30/03/2024 11:23

Mate, you've gone on holiday to Aldershot, that's never going to be an optimal choice.

InTheRainOnATrain · 30/03/2024 11:22

Ha I used to fly from the states to visit Farnham too! Aldershot is a dump but avoid there and it’s pretty nice?! Go to Waitrose, buy a crate of Evian if the water bothers you so much (couldn’t taste the difference personally) then why not go Alice Holt, hire bikes get your nature fix then go for dinner and a drink somewhere nice in Farnham.

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