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Original poster

I hate our holiday and want to go home

841 replies

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:10

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

OP posts:
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Familiaritybreedscontemptso · 30/03/2024 12:04

You’ve made choices that make it shit. Of course it’s going to cost a lot - that much travel always will. We’re going to the states in the summer and know we’ll be spending a fortune, yes on travel but also on doing things while there. That’s just kind of standard…it would be the same wherever you go.

You could definitely cut the trip shorter next time, or do every other year. But also, hire a car. Know you will need to spend on days out. Be more self starting instead of waiting around for your in laws to entertain you.

Allfur · 30/03/2024 12:04

ZittiEBuoni · 30/03/2024 12:01

I think your complaints are very valid - it's all very well recommending places to visit but the expense these days is eye-watering, especially rail fares. However in my county bus fares are super-cheap at the moment and it's a company that operates in a lot of different parts of the country, so perhaps have a look at bus fares and see if you can get somewhere nicer than Aldershot for at least a day.

Railfares are not expensive with railcards and prebooking

LittleBearPad · 30/03/2024 12:03

ZittiEBuoni · 30/03/2024 12:01

I think your complaints are very valid - it's all very well recommending places to visit but the expense these days is eye-watering, especially rail fares. However in my county bus fares are super-cheap at the moment and it's a company that operates in a lot of different parts of the country, so perhaps have a look at bus fares and see if you can get somewhere nicer than Aldershot for at least a day.

Rail fares from Farnham really aren’t that expensive, particularly off peak. It’s not on an intercity line. £20 a ticket for the adults and you’re done.

pinkhousesarebest · 30/03/2024 12:03

As much as I understand ( we have also had to spend holidays in a place we would never had chosen) my heart goes out to your sil.

AnAwfulPerson · 30/03/2024 12:03

Farnham is a lovely town, whenever I've been it's got lots of nice places to go!

RainStreakedWindows · 30/03/2024 12:02

@Backwoods57 I can totally get that, and it's not great for your kids to have to do this for holidays. Every 2 years is definitely fair, set expectations now and explain it's very expensive and means you can't afford to enjoy your holiday. Our experience of going to US on holidays though is that it's extremely expensive! Choose your location there carefully too!

Allfur · 30/03/2024 12:01

I would have planned an amazing trip across the UK, with a stop off at in laws, the UK has some amazing spots beyond the little corner you feel trapped in

LittleBearPad · 30/03/2024 12:01

From Farnham you can easily get to London and there’s loads to do that’s free there. Portsmouth is great for kids. Car hire doesn’t have to be much. You could have hired for a day or two and gone exploring.

You’ve made your own luck here OP.

ZittiEBuoni · 30/03/2024 12:01

I think your complaints are very valid - it's all very well recommending places to visit but the expense these days is eye-watering, especially rail fares. However in my county bus fares are super-cheap at the moment and it's a company that operates in a lot of different parts of the country, so perhaps have a look at bus fares and see if you can get somewhere nicer than Aldershot for at least a day.

Terribletooths · 30/03/2024 12:00

Yeah go London today or tomorrow. Free museums, lunch out, why not?

yeah you’ve had a shit time but don’t wallow now.

AnxiousRabbit · 30/03/2024 12:00

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:24

So far we have visited Whipsnade, Woking, Windsor Fleet and Guildford. We can't go anywhere without SiL because she does the driving. We have to be back every day because we have to collect her kids from school.

This sounds very ungrateful.
Your SIL is giving up her days to drive you around to places.
Of course she has to be back to pick up her kids.
She is possibly wondering why you haven't made any of your own plans to entertain yourselves for 2 weeks.

Hotdogity · 30/03/2024 12:00

This trip sounds like it was always going to be a disaster. And quite frankly any trip anywhere would be if you didn’t hire a car or stay somewhere with great transport links, make no plans to do anything, and rely on someone else the whole time.

You’re looking at this through a UK I’d shit lens -it’s not, your planning is shit. Hire a car now, go out for the day, stop being determined to be miserable

Original poster
Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 12:00

Ellerby83 · 30/03/2024 11:54

You have been visiting every year for 10 years. What did you do on previous visits? You must know the area well by now. I'm confused why this is all a surprise to you.

The same, it wasn't a surprise, but this time it just feels worse

OP posts:
swayingpalmtree · 30/03/2024 11:59

I also dont get why your only options of places to visit in the UK are Guilford and Woking lol. What about London? thats a fantastic city to visit and far better than many capital cities in Europe. Its a bit unfair to judge the whole of the UK on Aldershot 😂

fatphalange · 30/03/2024 11:59

You could've gone somewhere nice in the UK and either met up with or traveled to family for a couple of days. It was silly to waste such a long time for something you must've known from past experience you wouldn't enjoy.

TiredArse · 30/03/2024 11:58

It might be worth getting a family rail card next time as it makes train travel miles cheaper. Can get a digital one online same day and don’t have to prove you live in the Uk.

Original poster
Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:58

RainStreakedWindows · 30/03/2024 11:50

Come every 2 years and with the money you save go elsewhere in the uk or Europe. Your holiday sounds shit and that's not fair if you can't afford to do stuff when you get here. Kindly though, you sound a bit passive. I can't see why you don't go to free museums etc in London.

Certainly would only want to come every 2-3 years. I would rather stay in the US and explore

OP posts:
teacheroffsick · 30/03/2024 11:57

Thorpe park

teacheroffsick · 30/03/2024 11:57

Reading
Windsor
London...!!

sonjadog · 30/03/2024 11:57

In fact I have just looked up the trains on google for you. In 75 minutes you could be in central London. There really is no reason to sit there and wait for someone to take you places.

AnxiousRabbit · 30/03/2024 11:56

Hire a car?
My cousin and family comes back every 2 yrs. They hire a car, spend a few days with each set of grandparents and arrange big family meet ups during those days, and do a day out with close family...then move to next place. Then if they have time they go to Europe or a destination city for a few days before going home.

Your holiday sounds like when I used to visit my grandparents up north in a small ex-mining town....we only used to stay 3 nights.

GreatGateauxsby · 30/03/2024 11:56

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:24

So far we have visited Whipsnade, Woking, Windsor Fleet and Guildford. We can't go anywhere without SiL because she does the driving. We have to be back every day because we have to collect her kids from school.

Jesus rent a car!!!!

and get an air bnb or stay in a lodge in the new forest or something….

also I’d only be doing once every 2 years and offering to pay for flights for the other year.

Ginmonkeyagain · 30/03/2024 11:56

There are loads of free things to do in London and early Spring in Southern England is glorious - all the leaves and flowers are just emerging.

EverybodyLTB · 30/03/2024 11:56

This is like that thread about the teenagers who can’t do ANYTHING and the OP has no interests or ability to just do something. Advocate for yourself, OP, and do whatever it is you actually think looks good or interesting. You’re just being a martyr and only pissing yourself off.