I hate our holiday and want to go home

Oh no I understand how frustrating it must be to be 4k out of pocket and use 2/3 of your holiday allowance to spend time in a dump. Maybe next year don't visit at all and let's see if she will meet you half way perhaps for once she jumps on a plane to visit you instead and you pay for ticket? If she doesn't then don't budge and fall for the guilt trips. Sacrifices like this only become bearable if both sides commit and this seems only one sided!

Why don’t you pay mum in law’s air fair

He needs to man up. Plenty of women travel with two under 5s without whinge bucketing about it

Just get the train! Plenty of trains through Aldershot. Or hire a car.

There is an extensive public transport system. Use it.

You sound in a very negative mindset and resentful of MIL. This will rub off on the kids.
You're allowed to feel pissed off but you can't say there's nothing to do! What about catching up for a glass of wine with your side of the family or some old friends?
You've got the beach, New Forest, heaps of possibilities for days out.

This.

Apologies if someone else has suggested this, but I feel that next year, your workload will be so much that you either cannot come at all, or can only manage one week.

I have been in a similar position Op. the US & North America in general, is vast and varied. Absolutely you should be allowed some time to explore it, especially while your children are young .

I don’t know the extent of your MIL’s fear - slightly nervous or full on phobia. If it’s the former, perhaps she can fly back with DH after he has a week here, while you stay home with or without your children. Not trying is ver6 selfish of her.

Ungrateful for weeks of sitting in a smelly little house having the occasional walk up the road? Sounds like an absolute nightmare

It’s actually a big ask to put up and transport a family for that length of time. I sympathise with your disappointment but equally it also comes across as ungrateful.

Any trip where there aren’t public transport links nearby and you don’t bother to rent a car then have to be reliant on someone else for 2 weeks who has their own schedule with the kids etc is always going to be shit. If you can’t afford to do it with the car then you can’t afford an essential component of the trip and you shouldn’t go. If that means going every other year and/or agreeing a 3rd destination you all meet up in then so be it. They don’t make the effort to come to you so I’d have limited sympathy for any moaning that they’ll see you less, it’s literally there decision not to visit and that’s on them.

It’s not fair on you or SIL - no one is satisfied. I think you will need to write this trip off and plan more for next time. You need a bigger budget to hire a car and somewhere to stay at minimum. If that means you only visit every few years, so be it.

Sounds awful OP. I live in the UK but I always look forward to going to the states … space, fresh air, beautiful scenery, wide open roads … god I need to get back to the US

I don’t think OP wants suggestions. She’s just looking to moan.

@toomuchfaff I don't think that's an unpopular view at all.

I think most poster offering suggestion are just trying to help OP not waste last bit of this holiday.

I'd be planning madly for any future trips with huge interbinary and as much independence as possible and coming much less frequently (to never if I could swing that ) going forward.

If I let relatives stay in my house year after year, and spent my time driving them around to places so they could save money and they then moaned about how awful my house was and how annoying it was that I had to collect my kids from school and how dull the place I lived was I'd tell them to fck right off and get a hotel next time.

Geez.

I would love to hear the SILs side to this story

Somewhere in the UK but not their house relying on them to organise and drive you.

I doubt OP would spend the money. Refusal to spend any so far seems to be the main issue.

And a three week vacation allowance is definitely a reason not to move to the US.

Why not hire a car?

Unpopular opinion but I'm not doing anything just because someone tried to guilt me.

If you live in America, and she doesnt like flying, that's her problem, not yours. It shouldn't mean that the onus is always in you to go to her, using up your time, effort, resource, money and PTO.
No no no.

I'd be making it abundantly clear this is my last trip to their house. Future holidays will be on a rolling rota;

• Somewhere in Europe you all travel to
• In the US where you will host
• Somewhere in the UK but not their house relying on them to organise and drive you.

If she doesn't want to fly, then facetious always works but I'm not using all my holiday to visit them.

It seems a bit unfair to expect SIL to be your taxi for two whole weeks, and ungrateful to then complain about it. I doubt she’s cock a hoop about it either.

So if you and your DH go on holiday normally what planning do you do? Or do you just get to your hotel or lodge and sit down and that's it.

We go on holiday to Portugal on Monday - I've already got plans of which days we're doing day trips and which days are resort days. The day trips are booked. The kids activities are booked. We needed a dinner reservation for a really nice restaurant down the road, that's booked. I don't just leave it up to the holiday gods to provide a nice time for me.

Farnham is lovely.

Aldershot on the other hand

Nevertheless you are completely right and all the things you’ve suggested are lovely.

I think they sell bottled water in farnham

I was just going to say the same. Google for side streets to park for free at Alice Holt. Go to Wisley. Go go walk in the Surrey Hills. Go look round Guildford at the castle. Find a pub on the River. Go to Elsted

Farnham is absolutely not the shithole of England. By far. Unless you get in your car. Or you live right on the one way system.

If you think Farnham is a shit hole you are truly blessed. I walk for miles in the woods and villages around there never seeing or hearing a car for hours.