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Original poster

I hate our holiday and want to go home

841 replies

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 11:10

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

OP posts:
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Ogam · 30/03/2024 14:23

Wow OP. You’ve come to the same area for 10 years. You’ve chosen not to hire a car or use your initiative in any way to hop on public transport. (Trains here and buses here being very accessible and buses very reasonably priced). You’re just moaning and taking no accountability for your actions.

the tap water here is fine?! Also it might be expensive here but it’s definitely not eye watering compared to the USA 😂

maybe next time, don’t come to the uk and spend your time at your cabin shooting animals instead having more fun

BingoMarieHeeler · 30/03/2024 14:22

There is so much to do in the Farnham area that I could easily fill 3 weeks!

pegpuff · 30/03/2024 14:22

siameselife · 30/03/2024 14:16

To be fair to OP I have 11 paid days.

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Really!? That is so little. 😕 I have 7 weeks, would love to have more though. 😅

ginasevern · 30/03/2024 14:21

crumblingschools · 30/03/2024 14:13

When you say you are missing wildlife, is it killing wildlife that you are missing?

I was about to say something very similar. I was also going to ask the OP if they don't have cigarette smoke or traffic pollution in the States.

grapeomelette · 30/03/2024 14:20

A day trip to Woking! From Aldershot! I can't understand why you're not enjoying yourself.

Chocolateorange11 · 30/03/2024 14:20

A couple of things I’d do…

Next time plan in some day trips or even an overnights stay. Get a rail card and book your train tickets in advance, gives the added bonus of having concrete plans and is the cheapest way to do it.

Arrange to do a few days remote working for the hanging around days and let your DP and his family entertain the kids.

pegpuff · 30/03/2024 14:20

I don’t know how you can drink the tap water in the US? It’s absolutely vile. I’m in Scandinavia though, and there is no way we would drink the tap water in the US.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2024 14:19

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 13:19

Yep we do, it's an important skill, and a fun family hobby

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How is shooting an important skill? You've obviously been in the US too long 😂

PupInAPram · 30/03/2024 14:19

pegpuff · 30/03/2024 14:15

Only 3 weeks holiday allowance sounds pretty shit op. Why so little?

She's on us t&C's at work.

3luckystars · 30/03/2024 14:19

Next time include the cost of car rental into your holiday.

CaterhamReconstituted · 30/03/2024 14:18

Just go to a nice pub somewhere

siameselife · 30/03/2024 14:16

pegpuff · 30/03/2024 14:15

Only 3 weeks holiday allowance sounds pretty shit op. Why so little?

To be fair to OP I have 11 paid days.

pegpuff · 30/03/2024 14:15

Only 3 weeks holiday allowance sounds pretty shit op. Why so little?

crumblingschools · 30/03/2024 14:13

When you say you are missing wildlife, is it killing wildlife that you are missing?

JLT24 · 30/03/2024 14:12

@geywen oops missed that part. If that’s the case then I’d be doing every other year to visit instead of every year.

Zanatdy · 30/03/2024 14:12

Book a few days in London, so much to do. If you limit your entire holiday to MIL house then it will feel like you’ve wasted some of your leave

TotalAbsenceOfImperialRaiment · 30/03/2024 14:12

crumblingschools · 30/03/2024 13:09

@TotalAbsenceOfImperialRaiment why is it down to the MiL when it is OP and son have moved miles away

Because one plane fare costs less than four plane fares, MIL probably isn't working and does not have to work within the constraints of annual leave entitlement, and the contact almost certainly matters more to her than to anyone else involved. And people are allowed to 'move miles away', it isn't a crime that has to be atoned for.

paintingvenice · 30/03/2024 14:09

Would you have enjoyed the zoo more if you were allowed to stroll around with a shotgun practicing “useful skills”?

Haydenn · 30/03/2024 14:07

Backwoods57 · 30/03/2024 13:19

Yep we do, it's an important skill, and a fun family hobby

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Blowing animals brains out is not a “useful skill”

geywen · 30/03/2024 14:06

JLT24 · 30/03/2024 14:00

Do alternate years with MIL (pay for flight as an Xmas present??) That way you can carry on working whilst she visits you and you get to save your annual leave for the type of holiday you want.

Make some plans over next few days, hire a car/take a bus or train (go to a big city, visit some National Trust places etc etc).

And make an itinerary next time you visit the UK, there are plenty of beautiful and interesting places to visit.

MIL is scared of flying

InSpainTheRain · 30/03/2024 14:04

Weather is lovely and sunny - why not take a taxi to the railway station and take the train into central London? Loads to do and see there. Surely the problem is not the area, it's the face that you've not arranged anything to do. I'd be bored if I spent 2 weeks with my MIL as well so YANBU but you do need to motivate yourself and see some of the lovely countryside/cities.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 30/03/2024 14:00

You sound hell bent on having a shit time.
Today we have clear blue skies and you're choosing to sit around and moan.

Won't drive, won't hire a care, won't get on aa coach.bus.train.
Moan about the school runs your SiL has to do.
Complain about her house.

But don't worry - you'll soon be back in USA using that "important skill" of killing innocent animals.

Bet the in-laws can't wait to get rid of you and will breathe a sigh of relief once you're gone!!!

JLT24 · 30/03/2024 14:00

Do alternate years with MIL (pay for flight as an Xmas present??) That way you can carry on working whilst she visits you and you get to save your annual leave for the type of holiday you want.

Make some plans over next few days, hire a car/take a bus or train (go to a big city, visit some National Trust places etc etc).

And make an itinerary next time you visit the UK, there are plenty of beautiful and interesting places to visit.

watchuswreckthemic · 30/03/2024 13:58

Yeah you are being a knob. You don't have to travel back every year but your MIL probably misses her son and her grandchildren.
You've not organised anything, you aren't bringing anything to the party apart from a moan.
Travel in the UK can be expensive especially over bank holidays but you already know that and to book in advance.
Your poor kids are no doubt fed up so why don't you dip into the money you aren't going to spend to come back next year to actually do something.

PeloMom · 30/03/2024 13:55

For that amount would you consider getting her a ticket next time? And only DP takes time off to host her?