I hate our holiday and want to go home

My friends used to come back from US for two weeks every year - it’s too much, their trips back were grim - they only looked forward to staying with us at the end - they niw do A four day trip - see everyone and quickly move on. I really find going back home very dull too, a long stay will always be awful. 3 day limit for me.

Hire a car next time. You need your freedom to get out and about with the kids.

For now though, surely Aldershot has a station and you could get a train into London? Or could have done during your stay. London must be a fairly short commute from there and you could get an Uber or other taxi to get you to the station.

You are going to come up with a reason why that won't be possible either though.

I don't know the area at all but don't really understand why you're just sitting in someone's house. Get out and do something.

OP started her thread with "I need to rant" - fair enough! Sometimes these things are just shit and not easily fixable. Not sure what hunting and fishing has to do with anything! OP I get it, it sucks, and is part of living abroad. I found that taking a few walks alone with an audiobook helped me get through the worst of it. Hang in there.

If you don't have your own transport can't you go somewhere by public transport? I don't drive but manage to get out and about fine with my disabled son and daughter.

Stagecoach buses ATM all journeys are £2 no matter what distance you travel. If DC are under 5 they go free.

You don't have to stay in the house or locally all the time do you? Why don't you go out and about? There are plenty of lovely countryside places and historical places nearby if that's what you want. London isn't that far away either

What state are you in OP?

The reason you're having a shit time is because you didn't want to fork out for car hire.

I actually think you’ve been a bit selfish towards SIL here. I bet she wishes you had got a hire car and would look after yourself a for a bit. The fact that you are snap bang between London and the new forest and can’t find anything nice to do suggests the problem is more with you and your outlook. If you’ve come over assuming you won’t spend much money then of course you’ll all be bored and under each others feet.

Does sound a bit grim. Some options as far as I see it - agree to only come back every 2/3 years as too expensive to fly a family of 4 over annually. MIL will have to get over fear of flying if she wants to see you badly enough (maybe offer to pay for her flight). Or come when the weather is better so more (free, outdoor) activities on offer- isn’t end of June time school holidays in the US? So a good time to come as lower prices here due to not being in school holiday time. Book a holiday home somewhere with pleasant surroundings and lots to do, eg Cornwall/Dorset and invite UK family to stay with/visit you there. Or rent a car so you can travel to nicer places for days out while you’re here- I’m sure you’re aware there are loads!

In fairness Guildford is exciting if the other days out have been Woking, or even worse Fleet! Why would any go to Fleet if they don’t live there? To walk that circle round the ‘pond’ a good third of which is adjacent to the train tracks? Go to that nightclub underneath the Waitrose (anyone know if it’s still there)?

I reckon you’re probably on to something regarding SIL’s motives and OP’s saying this is the last time so I reckon SIL will be delighted her scheme is finally paying off!

I am have decided I am not coming next time, however my partner doesn't want to travel with 2 kids under 5 so I will probably end up having to.

Nope!

Barring exceptional circumstances, one adult two kids is doable!

Access to a washing machine & dryer means they can travel relatively light even for the best part of two weeks.

“it's an important skill” - for under 5s, shooting? 🤨

Is that because you are prepping for a zombie apocalypse, or because there are so many badly store guns in the US that you need to avoid them being fatalities or curiosity in a friend’s home?

@Bumblebeestiltskin So is my son, who would never kill an animal unless it threatened his life. He's still well-armed when he leaves suburbia.

Also, I forgot coyotes, which are everywhere. We have very few feral cats and no one leaves their cats out at night because they WILL get eaten. We lost one when she wandered off on a house moving day many years ago. My friend was chased by a pack of coyotes a few years ago while she was on her tractor. Luckily she was ready to defend herself at the time. I sat in my house in Tennessee just last year and listened to a pack of coyotes close in on the kill. NO WAY do I want to be on the receiving end of that.

I live in Florida these days and know how to successfully exterminate an alligator if necessary. They are in all the ponds in my area. Useful life skills, as OP said.

Maybe nobody died- but in the US they get such a short amount of time for annual leave that it's easy to see how it bites having to spend all but one week of it doing what the OP is doing.

But I definitely agree the SIL is probably fed up as well.

so what were you expecting to do for the whole trip?

I don't know the area but sounds like you're in a boring town. What did you expect? And why can't you get a train or a bus? We're in Wales in holiday, get buses or trains out although were stopping near a beach. I appreciate you may think the UK is shit compared to your American dream but it's ridiculous to suggest that's true of the whole UK. Pick somewhere nice and get them to come to you

Op you do seem determined to be miserable. Just accept you’re having a shit time, you’ll be home before you know it and next year do it differently. Chin up. Nobody died.

🤣🤣🤣 I thought the same when I read 'Guildford'

It sounds like your SIL probably doesn’t want you there if she’s taken you out to exciting places like Guildford (I don’t really rate Windsor tbh either but at least it’s a bit touristy!).

The whole trip sounds awful, but Yabu if you expected anything better as Farnham in March doesn’t shout holiday, does it? Ugh

Why not head south to the coast? It's an hour and a half approx which is easily doable for a day trip. I should know I have lived very near Aldershot and now live on the coast, plus I have made the journey many times!

OP I feel your pain. I am in a similar situation. We have tried to shake it up over the years, eg partner takes one child one year and the other the next, paying for MIL to come to see us, making sure to build in days out for ourselves, limiting time with certain family members. It takes a lot of planning and yes expense for rental cars and the like. But otherwise it can be so grim. My condolences. The one thing I would say is that it gets slightly easier as children get older. Good luck.

Since you know you are coming to the UK every year, why don't you increase your holiday savings to include car hire if that is what is needed to get you to the places you want to go to. You could even hire a motor home which would enable longer adventures and give your SIL a break from you. eg. https://www.camplify.co.uk/s/aldershot?seed=98786&page=1

Hampshire isn't known as a UK cultural hotspot.

You're joking, Hampshire is a beautiful county which goes way beyond Aldershot don't you know

• Chilbolton, in Test Valley, with its attractive thatched houses.
• Selborne, near Petersfield, surrounded by steep hills and lovely walks.
• Buriton, near Petersfield, surrounded by steep hills and lovely walks.
• Milford on Sea, with its quiet beach and views of the Isle of Wight.
• Chawton, the former home of renowned author Jane Austen.
• East Meon, with sprawling views of the South Downs.
• Beaulieu, a beautiful village on the doorstep of the New Forest National Park.
• Buckler’s Hard, with Georgian terraces by the river in this historic shipbuilding hamlet.
• Longparish.