I hate our holiday and want to go home

Would it not be cheaper to pay for your mil to come to your house?

YANU to resent having to use your annual leave and money to have a rubbish holiday.

I think you must be a bit thick coming onto a site that is mainly used by people based in the UK and then dissing the UK.

I also have no problem renting a car when I'm visiting the UK. If you're originally British there shouldn't be a problem driving on the other side of the road - my DH manages it and he's American and 80.

oh dear, I happily live in Woking but the idea of flying transatlantic to stay in Aldershot and visit Woking is hilarious OP.

However, you are in the heart of Surrey’s official Areas of Natural Beauty. Stunning places on your doorstep (and in Woking too!). Get outside for a few hours and you will easily be back for school pickup.

Could you see if MiL could address her fear of flying and offer to pay for her flight, then alternate years? Surely she'd like to see where you live?

Tell DH you need a holiday next year the UK was exhausting and there was no holiday benifit.
Pay for MIL to come to you in USA? Then you can travel around with her.Or she just stays at your place while you are at work.

As a fellow emigrant who has to spend 2 weeks every year visiting family in the UK and Europe...YABU. That is extremely bad planning on your part.

Having to "waste" vacation time on family visits is a big downside of emigrating. But there are so many ways to make it a nice holiday and there are SO many nice places in the UK, that this is all 100% on you.

I guess we're all different. I'd be bored stiff in a log cabin in rural Maine and would take Hampshire, with its easy connections to a range of urban and countryside attractions and amenities any day of the week.

OP, it sounds like you really hate the UK and this is causing you to sulk a bit rather than find creative solutions or spend money on a rental car. I think you need to cultivate a more positive attitude and start seeing the good rather than focusing on how bad a time you're having. Next time, make better plans, be prepared to spend more on local trips, or try to get out of coming.

I am currently visiting my parents in the same area. The weather is lovely today and this morning we took the kids to Wisley. I'm surprised you can't find anything entertaining or enjoyable to do with your time.

I live in the USA and I hear you on the whole vacation spent interacting with family (in my case, two of my children and two of my grandchildren) and old friends. I do enjoy that a lot, as I only get back once a year, but I always build in some tourist time as well, with or without family/friends.

It would be cheaper for you to pay for MIL to come over on a ship and take a train or bus to wherever you are (or maybe come to meet her so you're all touristing together if you live somewhere without good transport) than to pay $4000 to bring all of you over the Atlantic. More fun too by the sound of it.

Nobody would enjoy 2 weeks staying with their in laws. They could live anywhere and it would be shit. You need your own space.

Sounds like your DH can’t say no to his demanding mother and that is really the problem.

It's the kids' Easter holidays. And nice comment about SIL's house 🙄 - if it's that bad don't go there. You're not being dragged there by force.

Was just about to write the same!

Come less often and hire a car so you are not reliant on others to ferry you round. It woukd wear pretty thin if you were my sil and I had to drop everything to be your chauffeur.

This is a big mistake - I wouldn’t go home without hitting a car - it’s your ticket to freedom.

If you're comparing two weeks in Aldershot with huntin', fishin' and shootin' in rural Maine, I'm not surprised you're disappointed. Sounds like you much prefer your life in the USA to surburban England and that's fine. But you're AIBU for coming here and not taking advantage of all the things that Maine doesn't have.

I’d struggle with a 13 day holiday staying in anyone’s house, even if it was massive, clean and in an amazing location. That’s so many days to fill, it sounds exhausting and pretty boring.
Im surprised about the cigarette smoke, I was thinking the other day how I hardly ever encounter anyone smoking any more (lots of vaping though).
I’m also baffled about the expense of the UK - whenever I go on holiday outside of the UK I’m expecting all these bargain days out but I end up spending a killing on tipping etc and costly museums.
I think if you move abroad you shouldn’t be expected to come back every year, that’s crazy.

I don't think you have to read between the lines. Her contempt for the UK drips off the OP. It reminds me of the hostile American hotel guest in Fawlty Towers.

I feel for you though - sitting on someone else's sofa, with the only highlight of the day being the next cup of bloody tea, is absolute will-sapping kryptonite... 😞

And mine always insisted on the telly being on in the background allll the tiiiime... The horror! The horror!

As others have said, there is plenty of beautiful countryside close to Farnham, but you do need a car to make the most of it. Now the schools have broken up that should be much easier.

I second others' suggestions of Alice Holt and Frensham Ponds. Also worth visiting for good walking, lovely far-reaching views and wildlife are The Devil's Punchbowl/Hindhead Common/ Gibbet Hill, and Blackdown. On a clear day you can (just) see Canary Wharf from Gibbet Hill and there are Exmoor ponies on Hindhead Common.

Waggonners Wells and Ludshott Common are good too and you could also visit Tilford, which is a pretty village with a rural life museum nearby.

WisteriaLodge ·
Hampshire isn't known as a UK cultural hotspot.

I beg to differ!

Yes, I would not want to move from London, but Hampshire has a lot going for it. Especially for kids. My Brother's family were very pleased they moved there.

@Backwoods57

As someone else has mentioned, perhaps only go there every other holiday and don't rely on SIL for lifts especially if she has to keep collecting the kids. Hire a car! Go out places. Look on the internet though enough people on here have suggested places, or go air bnb in another place and MIL can come there. From London you can take coaches out for the day. Check the National Express website. You can be picked up in Victoria at the coach station.

Train from Aldershot to London Euston is £11 for an adult (if you have a railcard) £22 if not?

OP, I have been there, and two things:

1 Rent a car. Game changer. Oh, they kicked off at the loss of control, but that just showed that scrabbling back their control was a large part of the point of the visit for our family... Meanwhile you can have cheap days out, just further afield for a change.

2 My MIL was also 'terrified of flying'. Until we went to North America and couldn't come back for a few years. Then she found she was just about able to get over it...

But I am old and battle-scarred and haven't given in to guilt trips for a long time - why should one adult have that much control over other adults and their family? Are you going to do that to your own kids when they grow up? Well then. 🙂

I would be inclined to lean into giving your dc the experiences that rural Maine can't.
So history, culture and big city. You are only a short distance away from London a fantastic destination and in future years not that far from Paris either.
You aren't going to be able to recreate rural USA and I wouldn't focus on that.
I would also only go every other year.

Poor SIL.