I hate our holiday and want to go home

Here's an idea - quit bloody moaning and do something about it!!!! Your SIL's kids are off school now. Could your DH get insured on her car for a couple of days?

As for going shooting with under 5s.... 🙄

You do realise we have countryside and wildlife in the UK too, if you can manage not to shoot it...

Maybe SIL’s house is messy and dirty since she’s spending every day ferrying you around then has to go and get her kids from school and I guess look after them. I feel sorry for the SIL here.

You should have hired a car!

That's what I mean, drink bottled water - tbf, my kids complain about the weird taste of tap water when we visit different parts of the uk

Go camping in the New Forest or walking around the Surrey Hills or South Downs. Try not to shoot anything.

I get it OP. I live in the US and am spending 3 weeks of my vacation time (I get loads though) visiting my parents in the UK. They also refuse to come and visit us, so if I want to see them, we have to go over .

Anyway, thinks we've done to make it better

• Start and end the trip with a few days in London
• Stay in a really nice AirBnB in the nearest city, not their dull as ditch water suburb.
• Make firm plans for the time we spend with them, trying to avoid spending $$$ and flying 3000 miles to sit on the sofa and watch bargain hunt.
• Resign yourself to a lot of advance planning and not a lot of spontaneity.

To be fair to the OP if they live rurally and have a well then the water is going to taste significantly different to town water which has been treated.

We have a well and the water is really delicious - all my family mention it when they come to visit. The downside is you have to be extra careful with the kids teeth as there's no flouride added to the water - the pediatrician always asks about well water when you have check ups.

But it's not like water filters and bottled water don't exist in the UK and boiled water is good too for removing the taste of chemicals.

Sadly there is no train between Farnham and Winchester, they'd have to get a bus from Alton. But it's perfectly doable as a day trip by public transport and you're right, there are some fab things to see and do there.

It’s not fair that any outings when visiting the UK have to be crammed into 5 hours to fit with school pickups. By the time you’ve got anywhere and had lunch it’s home time

They wouldn’t have to be if the OP had hired a car or could manage to use public transport.
I feel sorry for the poor SIL here. She’s giving up her days to ferry them around, having to rush back to pick up her kids, and they’re slagging off the state of her house. I’d be glad not to have to host them again.

I was going to suggest a trip to Winchester, too. It's got some interesting history and some beautiful old buildings, including a terrific cathedral. Unless they've ruined it in the last 20-ish years, it has a nice town centre and some great pubs, too. I'm pretty sure Farnham is on the line between London and Winchester, so you could get a train.

Hiring a car would have made your trip so much more tolerable, OP. You're actually quite well placed for visiting some beautiful countryside and fantastic historic sites.

It was the complaining about tap water I thought was the funniest

Did you know the UK has some astoundingly beautiful, interesting, historical etc etc etc places to visit?? If I were to go to the USA for a fortnight I would not be wasting it sat complaining in some tedious backwater. You've got your laptop with you - get Googling and stop whingeing.

This.

I emigrated and spend most of my holidays visiting family in the UK. We try to achieve a balance of chilling out at my parents' house, seeing friends and family, and doing nice things to make it feel more like a holiday.

When my children are older I plan to spend at least 3-4 days in London once a year so they can discover all the fun things the capital has to offer. Aldershot is less than an hour from central London by train.

our tap water? i cant ddrink over there its vile

cant you rent a car

Oh and buy a water filter jug, and or a six pack of bottled water. Tick one more complaint off the list.

😂

I live in the US - emigrated 20 years ago - spend most holidays going back to visit my UK family - I guess the difference is it's my family so I just love seeing them no matter if we do anything or not.

I don't think it's unreasonable of you to have a bit of a moan if you're not enjoying yourself, however you are unreasonable as you've been doing this for ten years so the set up should not have come as a surprise at all.

If I were you, I'd have planned to do 3-4 days of remote working so that I didn't use up all my vacation time, and on those days sent DH out of the house with the kids.

I'd have taken 1-2 days for myself to visit my own family and friends (you say 'you' plural? moved to the US in 2014 so you must have some people there you'd still like to see) or if no friends then simply gone and done an overnight on my own to the coast, or a spa night in a hotel.

Then your DH and MIL are looking after the kids for at least six days but you are still there and supporting your DH for the flight etc while the kids are so young.

Then you'd just have seven days left - minus arrival day and leaving day for jet lag, packing unpacking etc, that leaves you with just five days to fill with activities. Hire a car for 2-3 of those days and you've got loads of lovely day trip options - go to London for a day and you've suddenly filled the whole 13 days, and only used 8-9 days of annual leave.

How old are your kids, OP?

Get the train down to Alton and do the Watercress Line?

Or up to London and do whatever you fancy?

If you're comparing two weeks in Aldershot with huntin', fishin' and shootin' in rural Maine, I'm not surprised you're disappointed

Exactly. I adore all my relatives who emigrated to Australia. They have a fantastic life over there, with big beach front houses and the weather, the outdoor life, and... well everything. They visit us regularly and they don't look to is for anything. They hire a car, and they make themselves an itinerary that includes staying with us for a few days at a time, and with trips and days out that wee can join at any time. But they're self-sufficient.

The only times I wince are when I feel they're putting down the UK. The comments about how tiny houses are here (not in reference to my house or any other Brit relatives, just generally) and stuff like that. I recognise that it helps confirm to them that they made the right decision all those years ago (they grew up in a South Yorkshire pit village) but it niggles me a bit.

So you think the UK is a shithole, yet live in a country where learning to shoot is an ‘important skill’ 🥴

okedoke.

It sounds shit all round. I bet your SIL isn’t having much fun hosting you all, having to drive you everywhere and then rush back to so the school runs

Do not do this again! Either all meet for a week in a different country or your DH misses a year then travels alone with the kids for a week.

I disagree that it’s more expensive here than the US. I was shocked when we visited the US recently. The price of everything was ridiculous.

Yes YABU, there are so many amazing/ fun places to visit within an hour or so of there. If you haven’t sorted yourself out to visit any of them then I think it’s a “you” problem really. What exactly were you expecting to do without access to a car?

Hire a car maybe? Go Ape in Bracknell is good for the kids, trip down to Bournemouth, few days sightseeing in London in the train.

I used to do a similar trip when we were expats in Texas, where incidentally the water tasted more like bleach than I’ve ever experienced.
I totally get the nuisance that is having to use up holidays visiting family, because even though it’s nice to be with them, it never felt like an actual holiday.
However, you’re so close to some amazing things to do. Okay, Aldershot is grim, but it’s in reach of many great things. There are loads of National Trust places that combine history with outdoorsy stuff, amazing woods, parks and outdoor things to do. There’s Guildford which is a pretty shopping town with lovely restaurants….a train to London for history and museums….trains to Portsmouth, Brighton….Farnham castle….Bourne Woods….exactly what are you wanting to do?!
There’s no way I would be staying anywhere for 2 weeks in UK without a car.
Sounds like a case of bad planning on your part, OP.

It s now school hols. Hire a car. Take a train or bus.

I feel for you. I would pick Acadia over Aldershot Every. Single. Time.

MIL can’t call all the shots or dibs on 2/3 of your annual leave every year.

I’m sorry your MIL is scared to fly but that’s not your fault and your kids will get fed up of this as they get older and want to do more things on their own continent and go to the places they hear their friends talk about. You are also going to want to take them to places and build precious memories.

It’s not fair that any outings when visiting the UK have to be crammed into 5 hours to fit with school pickups. By the time you’ve got anywhere and had lunch it’s home time.

You are allowed to have a life of your own. personally I would come back for a week every other year and spend the second week somewhere in Europe.

We have close relatives in Boston. They come back every 2/3/4 years and we keep in touch via WhatsApp, FaceTime.

Your DH not wanting to look after 2 kids on his own isn’t your fault either. He needs to compromise.